


Stop Me If You've Heard This Before

by ohjustdisarmalready



Series: Don't Stop Me [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gen, M/M, Mild Gore, Murder-Suicide, Plotty, Team as Family, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-02-06 10:57:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 41,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12816054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohjustdisarmalready/pseuds/ohjustdisarmalready
Summary: Lup is good at a lot of things. Magic, chaos, blowing things up, cooking…the list goes on.But she’s best at knowing her brother. And it doesn’t take much to see that Taako is being suspicious as fuck.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This sat on me and gnawed on my brain until I finally wrote it. I ended up rewriting it twice after that, too. Message me if you need content warnings, but it should be about on par with what's in the podcast for the most part!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup has a bad night. Taako...probably has a worse one.

Lup is good at a lot of things. Magic, chaos, blowing things up, cooking…the list goes on.

But she’s best at knowing her brother. And it doesn’t take much to see that Taako is being suspicious as fuck.

He’s been weird since the cycle started, but tonight they’d had a _party_. And Taako had _sat out_. Blasphemous.

So she pretends to be deep in meditation while he sneaks into Barry’s room at two in the fucking morning. She keeps her eyes lidded but watches though her lashes as he fumbles with something at the door—is that her umbra staff? He hesitates for a second, shuffles, leaves again. She waits a full fifteen seconds to let him get out of the way and to find another wand, because he just stole her fucking staff. What the hell, Taako, she’d have let him borrow it if he’d asked.

Then she casts blink and follows him. He’s being quiet, but he’s not invisible. She catches a quick glimpse of him with a huge sack over his shoulder as he turns a corner.

Hmm. Yeah, she’s checking that shit out. Last she checked, Taako wasn’t fucking Candlenights Santa Claus.

She creeps a good distance behind him—the Starblaster is in the air, so he couldn’t be planning on leaving unless he teleported, and he hadn’t mentioned any plans on the surface. She narrows her eyes as he climbs the ladder to the deck.

“Magnus!” Magnus whispers behind her, and she nearly incinerates him.

“Holy fuck Magnus, don’t do that when I’m creeping, what if he’d heard you?” She hisses, but luckily her brother is already through the porthole. She turns to her teammate—teammates, actually, Lucretia is behind Magnus clutching an empty mug. After the party tonight, Lup had been expecting them to be passed out, but apparently not.

“Who are we creeping on? Is it Merle?” Magnus asks, which, gross? No.

“Taako’s up to something,” Lup whispers. “I’m gonna find out what it is.”

Magnus is down for it just like that, but Lucretia hesitates.

“Are you sure he isn’t just happy? We’ve made the relics just fine, the Hunger hasn’t shown up yet, he’s probably just relieved,” she says. “Should we really be invading his privacy like this?”

Lup snorts. “I’m his sister, he doesn’t have privacy with me.”

Although that's been less true lately. Another thing to add to the ‘shit ain’t right’ list.

She shrugs it off, glances at her new partners in crime. “I’m following him. You guys with me or no?”

She knows the answer before she says it, and Magnus doesn’t disappoint, heading to the ladder with a grin.

“Let’s go creep on Taako!” He cheers, and then stops cheering as Lup and Lucretia immediately shush him. Lucretia gives Lup a disapproving look but notably didn’t try to stop her.

The three of them pile up behind the porch on the deck, and Taako isn’t hard to spot. His bag is gone and he’s talking with someone Lup doesn’t recognize.

“—has to happen. I can’t afford to take chances,” Taako is saying when they catch up with him. The man slams his hands on the railing next to him.

“There are other ways! You don’t have to do—this!” He’s making an effort to keep his voice down, but it’s clear he wants to shout. Taako stands unafraid.

“There aren’t. Not for sure. I won’t let myself be that _pathetic_ again,” Taako insists, and the man softens. Lup glances at her companions, but Magnus shrugs and Lucretia doesn’t seem to know what he’s talking about either. Taako had killed himself last cycle, but she’d thought he was better now…

“You were never pathetic,” the man says, reaching out for her brother. He steps closer and Taako is hidden by his broad, feathered cloak, but Lup gets the impression of closeness. Just who the hell is this guy?

Taako mumbles something, ending with “…kicked your ass, I guess.”

Huh. Interesting. Taako isn't really one for sparring. Magnus makes a betrayed sound; he’s tried a hundred times to get Taako to train with him.

“Not something many can claim,” the man says, but Taako steps away from him.

“We still have to do this. You have to do this. We have a deal.” The man reaches out, but Taako won’t let him catch him again. Lup’s brows furrow and her ears prick forward. Taako doesn’t like making deals with people. Too easy for them to change their minds. He must have hella collateral on this guy.

The man seems to realize he’s lost her brother, but he tries one more time.

“I know, just—why this? Talk to Lup and Barry, hell, talk to Lucretia! Anyone! They’re reasonable people, don’t you think they’d rather figure something else out? Please, Taako,” he says, and Taako does allow him to take his hand.

“Yeah, that’ll work well. I’m not in the business of getting stabbed in the back anymore.” Taako scoffs. What the hell? What the actual hell?

Lup tries to will the man to ask Taako what he’s talking about. They’ve been together for a hundred years. No part of this crew would betray another. They have bonds the likes of which have never been known in the universe before; why the hell is Taako acting like this?

“Some sort of charm?” Lucretia mutters. “Antipathy spell? Curse?”

Lup can only shrug. Taako’s been so _present_ , lately; there to spend time with any of them during every free second, surrounding himself with family. He’d thrown a crew ‘best day ever’ just the other day, once they’d finalized their designs for the light of creation. Where was this coming from?

Taako breaks the silence on his end of the deck and the fervent whispers on theirs.

“You know what Lup said to me tonight?” he asks. Lup tries to remember what she could have possibly said to provoke this. She’s not sure anything she says could cause Taako to turn around so completely, so quickly, though. Her brother doesn’t trust easy but he does trust deeply.

“What did she say?” The man asks. “That she’d hate for anything to happen to you? That perverting the natural flow of the world is a bad idea?”

Taako barks out a laugh and punches the man’s shoulder.

“Hell naw, we’re talking about my sister the lich here,” he says. Holy shit. Yeah, this has gotta be the work of a charm spell, Taako would rather die than let a stranger know her weaknesses like that. Lup draws her wand.

“ _Wait_ ,” Lucretia hisses.

“We still need to talk about that,” the man says. “The lich thing. That’s something we need to talk about.”

Taako turns to him. “Soon as we’re done with this we’ll go to your momma, hash shit out. I’ll need her help for this anyway.”

“I have this horrible feeling the two of you will get along with each other,” the man groans. “And she’s not my mother.”

“Right, totes. Anyway, what Lup said to me. Any real guesses?” Taako fans his nails out and Lup recognizes him peacocking before he goes in for the kill. Is the charm wearing off or is he resisting?

“No, I wasn’t there. What did she say?” the man sighs. He leans against the railing and looks around the deck and all three of them have to duck back so they won’t get caught.

“She looked at me and she said we can finally stop running. We’re home now, none of us have to fight anymore. We can finally start a life here,” Taako says flatly, almost mockingly. It doesn’t sound right. He doesn’t talk about her like this. There’s a shuffle but Lup doesn’t dare peek back out. “She and Barold can buy a house and have a million screaming spawn, or we can all live out of the Starblaster and go adventuring for fun, or we can tear up the college scene because we’re all fucking brilliant and this world isn’t prepared. We can finally be happy here as long as I do this one thing.”

Lup certainly doean’t remember saying anything about a house with Barry. Or kids. Magnus is giving her a look like he’s barely holding back on the congratulations, interrupted by worried glances in Taako’s direction. Lucretia is taking notes.

“Taako if she loves you at all she’d rather keep fighting than let you—” Lup bristles and risks a peek out. The man’s robe seems to be bristling as well, and Taako is at least giving him the glare he deserves for what he’s implying. Of course Lup loves her brother. Who does this guy think he is?

“I don’t _care_ ,” Taako snarls.

“What?”

Even Lucretia glances up from her notes at the venom in Taako’s voice. What the hell is he doing?

“I don’t care what Lup wants, I don’t care what Lucretia wants, I don’t care what any of them want. This is what Taako wants and I’m done dancing for other people. Fuck the rest of the crew, if they wanted a say they never should have—they shouldn’t—” Taako cuts himself off, turning away from the man towards them. Definitely some sort of spell. Modify memory, maybe? They all duck back again but Lup can hear her brother taking deep, shuddering breaths. At least he isn’t crying in front of this douchebag. Lup knows how much his pride means to him.

“Can I _go_?” she hisses to Lucretia. “He’s gonna make him cry!”

“We can interfere if it gets bad. We need more information,” Lucretia breathes back, over-cognizant of sensitive elven ears. “Will Taako tell us anything if we interrupt now?”

It’s a fair point, but Taako doesn’t seem to be having the time of his life as it is. Lup wants very badly to kick this guy’s ass for messing with her brother, but…she'd had no idea things were this bad. She’d known something was up but she’d had no hint of a charm spell, let alone one as powerful as this one. Memory modification, too? Or had the guy lied to him somehow, made him believe he was being betrayed? They need to know more.

The man sounds much closer than he was before when he speaks.

“They haven’t done anything yet,” he says.

Taako responds, also very close, maybe just around the corner, “It doesn’t matter. They will. I’m done letting people screw me over ‘for my own good.’ Taako’s out.”

Paranoia? Overwhelming sense that your loved ones are plotting against you? There are a few things that could cause this kind of behavior. Has this guy had access to Taako’s food or is it definitely a spell?

The man sighs, but he doesn’t sound like he’s getting closer anymore. There’s a shuffle of fabric and what Lup guesses to be feathers from his cloak.

“Taako, you’re not doing this because you’re angry,” he says, and he sounds so damnably reasonable that Lup wants to strangle him. She hates people who try to tell you how you feel, and any other day, Taako does, too.

Taako shuffles. He must be barely a yard from them now, just around the corner. Magnus is holding his breath.

“We’ve been running for a hundred years,” he says. “I’m tired. We’re all tired. We just need a break.”

“Run away with me,” the man says. What the fuck.

“What? I just told you I don’t wanna run anymore, what are you talking about?” Taako asks, and the man lets out a huff that Lup is choosing to interpret as laughter, because this is clearly a terrible, terrible joke.

“Just—I know. I know you can’t do that. I can’t, either. But, some day. When the Hunger is gone. I’ll find a way to take some time off and you can leave everything to Lup for a few weeks, we’ll go—somewhere. A vacation. You can come home with me and I’ll show you everything. It’s not all chains and prison, I’ll show you all the beautiful parts, we can take a while just to—be. No running, no fighting. Just the two of us.” The man’s voice is sweet, cajoling, and Lup is thinking he might dabble as a bard in addition to whatever other type of mage he is. He must be casting something, anyway, because it sounds an awful lot like he wants to chain Taako in his basement and Taako hasn’t turned him into a roast goose yet. Magnus quietly holds his hands out—no weapon. Lup casts a modified Mordenkainen’s sword Taako and Barry had come up with years ago to remedy that. Lucretia doesn’t move to stop her this time.

“If we ever beat the Hunger, sure. We’ll take a vacation in ghost hell, you can show me the sights. But we’re gonna need time and power to defeat the Hunger and I can get 'em for us. It’s common sense,” Taako says, voice fading again as he walks away from their hiding place. “I don’t know why I’m always the only one who’ll be pragmatic about this. It’s not like we haven’t made the same sacrifices before.”

“Then just don’t make me do it!” The man bursts out, and Lup hears three hard footsteps. She dares to peek out and both of them are about halfway back to the railing, Taako leading and the man chasing after him. Taako turns in response and Lup ducks back.

“What?”

“Have you even thought about what you’re doing to me, Taako? What you’re asking me to do?” _Say it out loud_ , Lup thinks. _What are you doing?_ They needed answers, not dancing around the topic.

“Whoa there, hold up. You were fine with it before,” Taako says, and Lup can picture her brother with his hands held out, looking at the guy like he was crazy. Emotions had never been his specialty.

“When? When was I ever fine with this? Believe it or not, Taako, I’m not a monster! I have a heart!” the man insists.

“No, that’s not—of course you do. I just, I mean, when we met you were—but I guess, yeah. It’s a bit different now.” Taako sounds flustered, which is not traditionally something Taako likes to be. The man laughs a little hysterically.

“Yeah, just a little,” he says. “You remember when I promised never to do this? Even if I was supposed to? Even if the order came down the line, I said I wouldn’t—that I’d—”

“I’m sorry,” Taako says. God damn. What the hell is going on? “I wish—well. It’s too late now. But I am sorry.”

There’s a shuffle of fabric and feathers. “Yeah. So am I.”

“I can’t undo the deal, but…I can…if you want, I can…help?” Taako offers hesitantly. Nothing about this conversation is right. Lup peeks out and they’ve both retreated back to the railing around the edge of the deck, both slumped and regretful.

“ _No_ ,” the man says, right off. “Taako, _no_.”

“Hey, I can manage it. You’d just have to stand still and I can take care of the rest. Or, I mean, you could use a portal for it. You don’t even have to look,” Taako offered softly. He’s being gentle with the guy, who seems to really be distressed. Maybe they’re friends? But then again, friends. Taako. Not likely. Gotta be a charm spell of some sort. Does it work both ways or does the guy just like Taako separately? Or is he faking? She’s gotta remember to check Lucretia’s notes later, see what exactly the guy’s had to say.

“Taako, you’d do anything to protect your loved ones, right?” the man asks. Taako nods and leans against the guy’s shoulder.

“’course I would, that’s why we’re here,” he murmurs.

“So would I. You’re a lot of things, Taako, but you’re not gentle. At least if I do this, I can…make it quick. Painless. At least let me do that.” Taako leans harder on him as he speaks and he stretches his arm out to envelop Taako in his cloak.

“It’s gonna be okay, you know?” Taako asks. “We just need to buy time. My crew’s the best damn team in the universe, they’ll find a way. We just need to keep the Hunger off their backs for a while. Everything’ll be okay, we’ll go on hell vacation, Lup’ll yell at me some. You’ll see.”

Now Lup needs to know just what the hell they’re planning. It doesn’t sound good. Did Taako need this guy to help him distribute his relic? Lup can see how he’d be bothered by distributing a mind-altering magical device onto his home world. They’re talking like they’re gonna kill someone, though.

Then again. She remembers what Taako had said tonight, too. _These things are dangerous, Lup._ _They’ll kill people whether we want them to or not. Are you ready to deal with that?_

“You’re breaking every sacred law that I’m sworn to uphold. This is…not something you can undo later. It’s a perversion of the natural order.” Huh. Is this guy some sort of acolyte? Not a paladin, surely. She’s yet to meet a paladin who can stand Taako in large doses. He sounds defeated. Arguments with Taako always end up going in circles.

“Better than the alternative,” Taako says. Fair. If they’re talking about the relics, that is certainly a true statement.

“I suppose so,” the man agrees. How much does he know? “I’ll do it. I promised I would and I will. But first, I have a request of you. A favor.”

Taako shrugs and then looks startled when he finds he’s shrugged the man’s arm off his shoulders. He really should have done that earlier. She wishes he would stop acting so buddy-buddy with this stranger. It had taken years before he’d let Magnus get this close.

“Anything,” Taako says, too sincere. Taako doesn’t promise anyone _anything_.

“Anything?” the man asks, apparently on the same wavelength. Just how does he know Taako?

Taako chuckles. “Well, no. I’m not letting you out of our deal. And I’m not telling Merle what happened to his aloe vera either, that secret dies with me.”

The man gives a strangled laugh of his own. “I suppose it will. No, I just want…will you talk to me for a while? It’s been a long, lonely life without you, I just want to listen to you for a bit. Before we do something we can’t go back from.”

Are they having sex or what? Also, fuck this dude for playing the sympathy card. Taako doesn’t fall for that shit.

Then again, Taako is falling for a lot of shit tonight. He leans against the rail, faced away from the man and his hiding crewmates.

“How about a story? You know all mine, but if you don’t mind a repeat…” He looks relaxed, silhouetted against the stars. How would this guy know any of their stories? Just who the hell is he?

 “I want to hear it from you,” the man says. “Something happy. Something that makes this—worth it. Please.”

Taako thinks for a moment.

 “I’ve got one for you,” he says. The man hasn’t made any threatening moves yet…maybe Taako’s just getting a head start on distributing his relic? In the middle of the night, right after they made them, before they can watch and make sure they won’t fall apart? With a stranger who doesn’t act like a stranger?

“I ever tell you about the best day ever?” He continues. He’s looking out on the world below. Lup can’t see it from where she is, but she knows the land spreads wide like a twinkling, glittering blanket.

“I don’t think you have,” the man says. “It was on the empty world, right? With the DMV?”

Taako shoots him a look. “Hey, is it your story or mine? This is Taako’s time.”

The man laughs like he’s choking on it. “Of course,” he says. “I apologize. Please tell me about the best day ever.”

Taako turns back to survey their new world.

“So there was this cycle with a big empty world, right? And there’s cities and stuff, but the people are just gone. Big ol’ world to play with and no one to stop us. And Lup asks me to give her the best day ever, and since I am the best brother, I blow it out of the park, natch. I started out slaving for hours in the kitchen for the perfect breakfast in bed…” Taako is talking carelessly, eyes on the horizon and not bothering to watch the man with him. At first this seems like a good decision, since the guy looks three seconds from snapping like a twig and Taako’s never been good with crying.

But then the man holds out his hands and a staff of some sort—no, a scythe, that’s definitely a scythe—appears, and Lup lunges forward before being stopped by Lucretia.

“Wait, don’t give away our advantage,” she hisses, but it’s hard to see the logic in the element of surprise when this man is holding a weapon high over her brother, poised to come down.

Lup does wait, though. Lucretia’s crazy good at shields and the man will be disoriented from a lunge if they let him swing and glance off.

And then Lup’s gonna tear him to pieces.

“I’m so sorry, Taako,” the man says, which, bullshit. If he were sorry he wouldn’t be doing this. He brings the scythe down.

Lucretia casts shield of faith.

Taako doesn’t turn around.

The scythe glances off, hitting the deck loudly and burying itself there.

“Uh, Krav?” Taako asks, glancing over his shoulder. Lup can see the moment he notices the shield, and he whips around to stare at the three of them.

“Uh, shit,” he says. “I can explain?”

“Taako, that man was trying to kill you,” Lucretia says, taking control of the situation immediately. She’s still channeling the shield, but Taako dispels it. Lup dashes forward to stand at her brother’s side, wand out, but he catches her hands before she can blow the guy to smithereens. Magnus approaches the man, weapon drawn, but chooses to stand in the small space between him and Taako rather than make any movements. The man has quit looking shell-shocked and settled for annoyed.

“It’s okay!” Taako says. “Just a bit of a business deal, don’t even worry about it, it’s cool.”

He puts his hands out placatingly, which would be more convincing if he weren’t so tense he’s shaking a little bit.

“Yeah, bullshit,” Lup says, and takes advantage of her new freedom to cast a massive fucking fireball past Magnus at the dude’s face. See how he likes that.

He doesn’t, as it turns out. He makes an inhuman sound as his flesh scorches, but he isn’t down yet. And then she has her wand knocked out of her hands as tentacles spring up around her, grasping each of them and removing them from one another. Is this guy a wizard?

But no, Taako is free and channeling. Maybe it is a charm spell and it makes Taako try to protect him?

“What the hell? Let go, Taako, we’re the good guys here,” she complains, and then it gets worse. The tentacles let go of the man. “Taako, seriously, what are you doing? Taako let go, you’ve gotta—”

“Hey, you wanna get on with it?” Taako asks as they each protest. The man dusts himself off.

“You are entirely too fond of that spell,” he says. Taako grins.

“Sure am. Stop stalling, sweet face.”

Lup squirms harder, but strength is not a quality common in wizards. Magnus rips himself free and tackles Taako away from the man. Good idea. Restrain the suicidal brother and then deal with the threat.

The man hefts his scythe for another swing. “I’d really rather not fight you, Magnus. This is hard enough as it is,” he said.

“Yeah, over my dead body,” Magnus snarled, wrestling with Taako. The tentacles flicker out of existence as her brother is distracted and Lup lunges for her wand. Lucretia casts a glimmering shield around Taako and Magnus, so they stop wrestling and Taako pops free.

“Lucretia, take down the wall,” Taako says. He’s never liked being trapped.

“I think fucking not,” Lucretia says. She’s never liked people killing her loved ones.

“Taako!” the man—Krav?—shouts, and swings his scythe through the air, and a portal opens up next to Taako. Taako lunges through it

and

Krav swings his scythe back

and

he closes his eyes against the splatter of gore

and

Magnus shouts

and Lup screams.

She sees her heart hit the deck in two separate pieces. The time between one and the next stretches into eternity. She knows already that the image will never leave her mind. Kravitz cringing, straining with the follow-through, Taako’s back to her as the blade moved, his frame tense and then not so, the splatter of blood as her brother turns into two chunks of Taako-shaped meat hitting the deck. Magnus reaching for him. Lucretia casting another shield a second too late, the glow of it shimmering perversely over what remains of her brother as the glow surrounding Magnus fizzles out.

Kravitz, hitting his knees, scythe clattering to the deck and disappearing. The inevitable gore that came of cutting someone in half.

Lup has seen more of her brother’s internal organs than a battle surgeon over the past hundred years, but—but—that was her brother. That was her brother and he was never supposed to die again and now he’s just another empty corpse. This was supposed to be their _home_.

“I’m so sorry,” her brother’s murderer says. His voice cracks. He has no right. He reaches out to close her brother’s eyes and Lup can’t take it. She can’t.

She barely bothers to shape around Magnus and Lucretia as she burns the whole world around her. Lights it up and destroys it, and Kravitz too. An alarm goes off distantly but she doesn’t stop. Nothing can stop her now. She is half of a whole and she will burn up what’s left until she can be complete again.

This was supposed to be the end of it. They were supposed to be _home_.

“Lup,” Barry says. “Lup you need to stop, you’re gonna wreck the Starblaster. Lup.”

Barry is here. She turns to him, still wreathed in flame.

“He cut Taako in half,” she says. Barry curses.

“What? He—Okay. Okay. Taako’s…Fuck. Okay. We can, okay. We can deal with that later. Can you stop the fire for now?” He reaches out for her and she allows it. He tucks her into him and she lets go of the flames. She does not let go of the rage.

“We need to put the light back together,” she says. “We need the Hunger to come so we can leave.”

Barry tightens his arms around her.

“There’s gonna be a problem with that,” he says. Lup draws back.

“What? No, we need to leave. We can’t stay here without Taako,” she says. He looks troubled.

“I know Lup, I know, but—there’s just—there’s one problem.” He doesn’t meet her eyes, and then he does, and that’s almost worse. Lup knows Barry would never try to keep Taako from her. But he’s not looking too good.

“What is it.” She demands.

Barry fidgets. Looks past her. Looks back. “It’s just, we can’t put the light back together, Lup.”

He takes a deep breath.

“The light of creation—the relics—are gone.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cycle 98 is a short year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I gotta say...holy wow. Y'all have been so kind to me on this one! I got super inspired by all your nice comments, so I did end up writing another chapter. This one is shorter because the next scene really needed its own chapter, but it does provide some context for where everyone is at the start of the cycle. We're gonna be in flashbacks for a while to set the scene and get some questions answered.

Almost home, almost home, almost home. Taako can’t believe it, except that he definitely can and if it turns out not to be true he’s going to turn someone into a newt. Possibly himself. He can probably get Kravitz to kiss him better.

Gods, Kravitz. He might see Kravitz soon. He might discover that his Kravitz wasn’t brought with him and get himself killed by his past-future-alternate boyfriend soon. But he’ll _see_ him.

It’s been a long, long time. He hopes Kravitz doesn’t immediately try to collect his bounty, because he won’t be in great fighting shape.

Well. He’ll be getting himself killed either way. But there’s a good chance that Kravitz will be there and he’ll be _home_.

The glow of their reconstitution settles and Taako whips around to Lucretia, who’s holding her first journal again. She must have almost a hundred copies of it by now. Damn thing keeps duplicating when they start a cycle.

“Hey, Lucretia, this is our ninety-eighth cycle, right?” he asks, just to be sure. It would suck to miss home by accident, but he can’t wait any more. He’s too excited and he knows it. He’s almost home!

Lucretia checks her latest journal, sitting next to the captain’s seat, and confirms. “Yes, it is. Nearly a hundred now.”

She looks troubled and Taako just knows she’s thinking something deep and fretful about how they haven’t even come close to defeating the Hunger yet and no one will let her use her shield plan. Ha. That’s fuckin’ hilarious. But Taako doesn’t have time to laugh at the irony, or he’s had all the time in the world and it’s really not funny anymore, so he doesn’t let her get in another word.

“Fantastic. See you next time!” he says, and casts power word: kill.

* * *

 

The glow of their reconstitution settles and Taako can feel it. He’s home. Well, he can’t feel it, it’s a placebo, but he doesn’t care. So much planning, so much waiting, and it’s all about to pay off.

“Hey, Lucretia, this is our ninety-ninth cyc—” before he can even get the question out, he’s tackled to the floor and his wand hand is being held far away from the rest of him. “Hey, Magnus. What the fuck?”

“What the _fuck_ ,” Lup snarls, “do you think you’re pulling, Taako? What the shit was that?”

He frowns. “What? Let me up, Mags, seriously. What’s with the third degree?”

Magnus’s hand is way too tight around his wrist and his fingers are beginning to tingle around his wand, but when he moves to fix it Lucretia makes quick work of kicking his wand across the floor to Barry, who picks it up without looking away from him. What the hell?

“Taako, you killed yourself,” Lup looks strained. Like she hasn’t done the exact same thing. He rolls his eyes and squirms until he can at least pretend to be comfortable.

Taako nods. “Sure did. I didn’t want to wait through another whole year,” he explains.

“You _died_.”

“I came back,” he tells her. This is not unusual. Why is she so upset?

She makes a wordless noise of frustration and pulls on her hair. He frowns. “Are you okay?”

“Am I okay.” she says. Barry goes to her because Taako can’t, and he gives Magnus an exasperated look. Lup needs twin time, she hasn’t had it for a whole year. Magnus catches his stare and shifts to a more comfortable position with no clear intention of moving.

“Yeah, doofus. You’re the one going all crazy about it.” He says. Lup stalks close to tower over his position on the floor. He feels his impending doom approach. “Not that you’re not, uh, perfectly justified in feeling—uh—upset? About, about…me skipping a cycle? Was it a hard one?”

It shouldn’t have been, but maybe he’d changed something by not being there? It had been a hundred-odd years since he’d lived this one, so he could have forgotten something…

“You’re damn right I’m justified. What the actual hell were you _thinking_ , Taako? What if that had been the last cycle? Do you want to _die_?” Lup fists her hands around her robe like she’s strangling him with them. Fuck. It’s the hardest thing in the world not to laugh, though. _I crave death. I long for death’s sweet and loving embrace. I’m gonna go bang death for forty-eight hours straight and then sleep for a week._

Well. Maybe not that last bit. He’s on a schedule, after all.

A snort sneaks through and Lup goes apoplectic.

“Do you think this is fucking _funny_? Is this whole thing a fucking _joke_ to you? You died, Taako! You killed yourself! You committed fucking suicide right in front of me! It's one thing if you get killed, okay, and maybe you could have fought harder but I can pretend you meant to come back, but. You _left me_!” She does get down on his level now, fisting a hand in the collar of his shirt and wrenching him close to her. Something pops in his shoulder because Magnus still has his wrist pinned.

Lup has tears in her eyes. Her hands are shaking. But all Taako can see is the countless nights awake, searching desperately for her with Barry. Begging for any hint of a sign, watching his not-brother dissolve further every day, barely eating and never sleeping if they could help it, with nothing but a note. _Back soon._

And here she is accusing him. He lets the laugh well out of him. He thinks he remembers his aunt saying spite makes him ugly, but it’s been two hundred years and his memories can’t be trusted anyway, so who knows? Who even knows anymore?

“I—left you,” he gasps. “Fucking—I left you? You’re mad that _I left you_? You’re,” he has to stop because the laughter is choking him and being pulled between Magnus and Lup is seriously beginning to hurt him.

“Yes! Yes I fucking am, so what do you have to say for yourself, Taako? What do you— _why_?” She’s so demanding, right in his face and passionate in a way only Lup has ever dared to be. He thinks. Maybe everyone does this, what the hell does he know?

No, he’s better than that. He’s got a hundred years of memory two times over; he knows this shit. Being home is bringing up more than just happy thoughts.

He takes a couple of deep, giggling breaths that try for even and end up gasping. For her. Because he knows how much it sucks when your twin is just _gone_ and you can’t get them back.

And then he remembers he’s a petty bastard and sneers.

“I don’t have to explain shit. We die, we come back next cycle. It’s happened a hundred times before. What, you want an apology?” He squirms under the uncomfortable combined forces of Magnus and Lup and wishes he had a wand. Life is harder without a spellcasting focus, he’s found.

“Hell yes I want an apology! You fucking killed yourself! We said we wouldn’t get into that dark shit and you blew yourself up before the damn year could start!” Lup’s voice breaks. Taako’s pretty glad she isn’t in lich form.

“You want to talk to me about giving up? Getting myself killed? That’s fuckin’ rich, Lup. At least I don’t throw myself at every half-assed beggar coming my way, begging them to stab me in the back! At least I don’t run off without telling anyone _shit_ and letting them wait for me to come back and I never, ever do and there is _nothing_ they can do about it! At least I gave you a body!” He’s doing more damage to his shoulder than either of them, lunging forward and straining and not letting Magnus get a gentler grip. It feels good like this. Finally fighting back. Maybe nothing he does matters but at least he can make it hurt.

“What the hell are you talking about? You left me a corpse to deal with! You think I wanted to shovel my brother into a hole? Burn him? You think this was kind?” she spits the words like poison but Taako has lived through an empty life and nothing she can do will ever match that. She left him first.

“What, you want to spend the rest of your days not knowing? Waste all your time looking for me only to get so damn close you can taste it and have it all fall away? How about I let you realize the whole thing is pointless, that I’ve been gone the whole time and there is nothing you can do about it? You want to spend the rest of your life knowing your twin died alone and didn’t trust you enough to ask for your damn _help_?” They’re getting in each other’s faces and if Taako had a hand free he can’t guarantee there wouldn’t be punches thrown. He glares and hisses like a cornered thing, tight with remembered grief. He would have helped her. He would have gone with her. Why didn’t she ask him for help?

Lup physically shakes him. “What I want is for you to tell me what the hell you were thinking! And never fucking do it again! You fucking _scared_ me, Koko!”

Oh.

Well.

That kind of takes the _oomph_ out of his righteous anger.

“I’m sorry,” he says automatically. Lup…Lup doesn’t do _scared_. And if she does, she doesn’t admit it, even to him. Last time she’d said that to him…shit. He’d never meant to do that to her. She’s dealt with a lot of his cryptic bullshit in the past hundred years, he hadn’t even considered... “I didn’t—I’m sorry.”

What the hell is he doing here, really? Screaming matches with his sister? Killing himself to kill time? Plotting around his family? What’s even the point of any of this? It’s all going to go south again. If he’d just stayed dead…hah, staying dead. Kravitz would be so ashamed of him. What’s he been doing the past century if not wrecking the natural order?

He barely notices his body slumping, hanging from Lup’s hands more than bristling into them. His shoulder stops hurting as he stops fighting Magnus’s hold.

Why is he here? Why is he still alive? Why couldn’t it have been Magnus, or Lup, or Davenport? Someone good, someone who would know what the right thing was and do it without hesitation, someone who wasn’t selfish and cruel and _angry_.

Why had he wasted his last act doing something selfless if he was never going to act that way again?

Lup is measuring him up, trying to see if he’s lying. He can’t exactly blame her. He’s gotta pull himself together. He’s _Taako_ , from TV. If nothing else, he can be that. He gives her a winning smile.

“Really, sorry about that. Didn’t know it would be such a problem. I promise I won’t do it again, okay? From here on out, no suicide. Cross my heart. Wanna let me up now?” His voice doesn’t crack and he gets stronger as he picks up momentum. Talking to Lup is dangerous because she makes it so much harder to keep it fresh. Angry isn’t a good look on him.

Well, everything’s a good look on him. Wrath can be a particularly hot one in the right circumstances. But every showman knows there’s a time and a place. He keeps smiling.

Lup scowls at him.

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” she snaps, and rises to her feet to storm off. Fine, whatever, she needs a minute. Probably for the best. Taako is left on the floor, smiling at nothing and waiting to be released. Magnus gives him a considering look.

“Are you gonna kill yourself if I let go of you?” he asks.

“No,” Taako says. “Can I have my wand back?”

Magnus lets him go, and winces when he makes a show out of rubbing his wrist. That’s gonna bruise later. Barry leaves the room after Lup without giving him his wand.

Pointless gesture, really. He keeps extras on him and they all know it. But it conveys the message. He doesn’t think he’s gonna be alone for too long in the near future.

Well, tough. Taako’s gonna need some alone time for the shit he’s planning. Luckily, he’s been preparing for this for almost a century. He backs a couple of steps away from Magnus, landing evenly in the middle of the room.

“Well, this has been awkward as hell, but cha boy’s got shit to do. I’m not killing myself. Toodles,” he says, and casts demiplane.

A shadowy door appears beneath him and he falls right through, ending the casting as soon as he’s all the way in. No one can enter or leave without burning an eighth-level spell slot, and none of them know enough about this particular demiplane to access it either way. Hell yeah.

Taako eyes the spread of raven feathers on the floor. Nothing here has changed, of course. There are only two other people who would be able to mess with it if they even could get in, and they’ve been in a different planar system from his demiplane and also maybe dead for the past hundred years. Still, it’s a bit of a shame not to see Kravitz sitting on the couch waiting for him.

Speaking of the couch. He spares a moment to look at it longingly, now that he’s alone. It’s so tempting to just take a break, away from everyone else, safe in his demiplane…just for a little while, until he feels less jagged inside, less likely to screw something up, until he’s better…

But no. He has a date with death and his partner hasn’t shown up yet. He can take a break later.

It is a shame Kravitz hasn’t come by on his own, but even as bedecked as his demiplane is, it probably doesn’t register as more than a sparkle in Kravitz’s awareness. He’s probably barely noticed.

Well, if you want something done right, and all. Taako kneels by the summoning circle and gets to casting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you like!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunions are healing. Our boys could use a little healing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was gonna include another scene but I ended up cutting it here...which means I totally could have published it yesterday. Oops. Sorry, folks.
> 
> Content warning for the implied/referenced death of a minor. Nothing you haven't heard in the show itself, though. Message me if you need a more specific warning!

It takes barely thirty seconds to get results on his casting. He’s been planning this shit for decades, he’s got it down. He sees a rift open, sees those beautiful bones, and he can’t leave the casting circle quite yet but he grins. Fuck, he is so in love and he’s _missed_ Kravitz. He’s _home_.

“WHO DARES TO SUMM—Taako?” Kravitz pauses halfway through rising from the portal and the unearthly fire dies down.

“Kravitz!” Taako exclaims. It feels so good to say his name. He’s taken to saying it to himself on the worst nights, just to remember there’s someone out there who loves him. Better yet, Kravitz remembers him!

“ _Taako_ ,” Kravitz breathes, stumbling out of the portal and kneeling in front of him. “Taako I—you came home.”

“Kravitz. I’m home, Kravitz. I’m back,” he says softly. He’s never this gentle but for Kravitz he can be. For Kravitz he wants to be. He brings his hands up to cup around Kravitz’s skull, not quite daring to touch. If this were to be some kind of dream, a stress hallucination, anything but real…

Kravitz slowly, reverently smooths his hands across the backs of Taako’s. He brings them to his face.

“Wait I—I’m not even in my skin just—” He draws Taako’s hands back for a moment to materialize his fleshy bits and returns them. Taako cradles his boyfriend’s face in his hands and just looks at him for a moment. Right there in front of him. Present and real and there.

“I missed you,” he whispers. His voice is rough. He lets go of Kravitz’s face to smooth his palms across his shoulders, to bring him into a hug. It’s not the most convenient position, both of them kneeling on the floor and clinging too hard to adjust, but Taako doesn’t care. It’s been a hundred years and he’s missed his boyfriend.

“I missed you too,” Kravitz responds, but doesn’t seem inclined to say anything else. He hums softly, some song that died out long before Taako came to this system. Taako would die for him.

He can’t bring himself to let go, not even to stand up. The familiar chill of his boyfriend is seeping into his clothes like it hasn’t for a century and there’s nowhere else he’d rather be. He shifts to crawl halfway into Kravitz’s lap and pushes them both to the floor with no particular intent and Kravitz tightens his arms around him. They lie there, on the floor, holding each other and surrounded by arcane symbols and raven feathers, and it hasn’t been nearly long enough when Kravitz sits up.

Taako refuses to let go of him because it’s been like fifteen minutes and he hasn’t gotten his boyfriend time nearly finished yet, so they end up both sitting up. Taako pulls back just enough to frown at him.

“There’s something you’re gonna want to see,” Kravitz says. He’s not wrong. Taako very much wants to see him. He also wants to see the shattered remains of the Hunger crushed into atoms. There are several things he wants to see.

But Kravitz doesn’t seem to be talking about any of them, when he summons his scythe and opens a portal to a cozy study. There’s a small figure sitting at a desk and scribbling something down. Taako gasps despite himself.

“Angus?” Kravitz says, and Angus McDonald turns around, every inch the fancy little boy Taako knew a hundred years ago, looking exactly like he had every day up until that last one. Taako’s hands are fisted so tightly in Kravitz’s cloak they ache.

“A—” his voice breaks. “Ango? Pumpkin, sweetheart is that—”

Angus grins and runs right through the portal, not even bothering to put away whatever he’s writing on. “You’re back, sir! I missed you!”

Taako’s heart is doing something funny in his chest.

“But you _died_ ,” he protests. “I—I was right there. You were in my arms and you _died_.”

Angus nods. “I was dying. I hadn’t quite finished yet! And since we went back to a time with no Angus McDonald, I didn’t have a physical body to finish dying in! As soon as I’m born I’ll be fine!”

He reaches out to Angus, but his hands go right through. He can’t believe it. His worst mistake undone. Angus is _fine_. No body, sure, whatever, seems like half his family doesn’t have a body sometimes. He’s alive. Taako clutches Kravitz’s robe.

“You’re okay,” he breathes. “I was so sure—you’re okay. I’m so. I’m sorry, Angus. I never should have let you—I’m so sorry.”

His breath is hitching but it’s been a long hundred years, okay, and his magic boy is alive. He’s earned this. Kravitz puts his arm around his shoulders.

“It’s okay, sir. You did your best. And now we can do even better!” Angus is smiling like the sun and Taako can barely stand it. The world is right again. Every fucked up thing is worth it. He’d thought…he’s so glad.

“Right. Right, we can,” Taako says, and he should get to talking strategy but he has to ask, “Has Kravitz been taking care of you? Have you been keeping up with your casting? If you’ve forgotten your cantrips I’m gonna kick your ass, both of you. That’s kindergarten stuff.”

“I can do you one better, sir!” Angus beams. He holds out a calming hand and Taako suddenly feels very tired. He doesn’t resist and what seems like seconds later he’s being shaken awake.

“Huh? What?” he asks, disoriented. How long has it been since he’s slept, anyway?

Angus is hovering over him. “See? I learned some new spells! It has been a hundred years, sir. That was catnap!”

Taako tries to make a snappy comment, but he was very sleep deprived and he feels much better now. “Holy actual shitballs, kiddo, Krav been teaching you some of his bard shit? I know I wasn’t giving you level three enchantments.”

He sits up and Kravitz is sitting on the couch. He pouts at his boyfriend, because apprentice-snatching is a criminal offense. Or it should be.

“Yes sir! And the Raven Queen lets me do a couple tricks in exchange for some consulting work. I can even do some healing now, so maybe when you try to defeat the Hunger we won’t all die horribly!” Kids, and Angus in particular, have a way of saying things. It’s really something.

Taako hums thoughtfully. “Well, Ango, have I ever told you how we feel about multiclassers?” he asks.

Kravitz tries to hide a smile. “Taako,” he says. “It’s been a hundred years. You can’t be nice to the boy?”

“No, sir, you haven’t!” Angus exclaims, always ready for some mentoring wisdom. Taako pulls himself to his feet to loom over him. A quick minor illusion makes the shadows in the room darker and Taako himself can take care of the rest. He stifles a grin.

“You are a traitor to everything I stand for. All that I taught you has been in vain, squandered in the thrall of multiclassing greed. You have strayed from the path and in doing so have been consumed. This betrayal will not stand.” He draws one of his wands dramatically and pushes his illusion into the fires of hell in his eyes.

Angus giggles. “I’ve missed your goofs, sir! That one was pretty good!”

Fuck. He’s not even a little afraid. Taako lets the illusion go and sits down heavily on the couch.

“He’s not scared of me anymore, Kravitz,” he whines into his boyfriend’s shoulder. “Kill him.”

His head is jostled as Kravitz laughs. “We’ll have to wait a few years for him to be born, first,” he says.

Taako lifts his head to pin Angus with a baleful glare. “Shit. Can’t you hurry that up a bit? Go find your parents and tell them to get busy? I can’t hit you like this.”

And he really, really wants to be able to feel Angus breathe. Just for a moment. Just to be sure.

Angus shakes his head. “Not how it works, sir! Not unless I want an older sibling. I think I have enough!”

Ugh, Taako had forgotten how damned peppy the kid was. “Two of you? Gods preserve us,” he groans.

Angus comes to sit next to him and Kravitz on the couch.

“Sir, what are we gonna do about the Hunger?” he asks. He’s swinging his legs and talking about the world-ending horror that—

Fuck. And Taako had been so enjoying himself.

“Gonna get right into it, huh? I just come back from a hundred years of peril and this is how you greet me. Hunger this, planes that. I see how it is,” he grumbles. Kravitz shifts.

“We do need to figure out a plan. Clearly the shield didn’t work, and the relics were…pretty bad, too. I’ve explained the situation to the Raven Queen and she wants to meet you, but you have her support for whatever you need to do,” he says. Holy wow. The support of the Raven Queen. Taako’s life just got a lot easier.

Well, maybe. He’s never put more faith in gods than he’s put in himself. They have not historically fared well against the Hunger. In the meantime, though, jot that down as a resource.

“We’ve thrown around a couple of ideas, too, but neither of us could figure out how to beat an entire plane with just the nine of us,” Angus pipes in. “I would like to say that I’d prefer you don’t leave my world to die!”

Taako tousles his hand through Angus’s head.

“Yeah, not doin’ that. This is the last cycle. I’m sick of this shit.” He stands. This seems like a standing type of announcement. “How do you defeat a plane? With another damn plane, of course. I have an ingenious plan.”

* * *

 

He doesn’t know how long he’s been gone when he comes back, but it must have been a while with all the talking and yelling and the catnap thrown in. He opens the portal from the demiplane into the kitchen and it’s dark. Magnus is snoring on one of the wooden chairs, and he wakes with a start at the sound of a magical entrance sealing.

“I’m back,” Taako says. Magnus darts to his feet and approaches, hands out, but then stops short and doesn’t touch him. This isn’t gonna be a damn _thing_ , is it?

“Hello! You’re back! Welcome home! Let’s make supper together!” Magnus exclaims. Taako squints. Like looking into the fuckin’ sun.

“You can’t cook worth shit,” Taako reminds him. Magnus is undeterred.

“Then I’ll keep you company while you cook! It’ll be fun!” He keeps grinning like it’s going out of style, but his shoulders are a little more tense than is strictly necessary, and he keeps making aborted gestures towards Taako.

“You got sent to babysit me,” Taako says flatly.

Magnus shakes his head emphatically. “Not babysitting! I’m just excited to spend time with you because you’re my friend and I love you!”

Taako winces. “Right. Guess I deserve that. Yeah, let’s see what we can scrape together.”

Magnus grins, victorious, and turns the lights on. Fucking humans and their not having darkvision. “By the way, Captain Davenport wants to talk to you.”

Fuck. Very much fuck. “Captain Davenport, huh? No Dadenport?”

Magnus ignores the question in favor of rummaging through the pots and pans. Dumbass. Taako hasn’t even told him what they’re making yet. “He said he’d be by your room after supper tonight and if you aren’t there he’ll let Lup skin you.”

Taako starts rummaging through the cabinets. There’s some old bread waiting suspiciously close to the front. Perfect. “Damn, there go my escape plans,” he says.

Magnus, in a great example of why Taako can stand to be babysat by this particular human, only laughs. “Not like you have anywhere to run to. Cap’nport says you can only cast demiplane once a day unless you get a rest in. Gotta wait until we land.”

Taako flips him the bird and starts putting ingredients on the table. Magnus has already gotten him a baking pan. “Hey, how the hell do you know what we’re making? I thought you said supper.”

Magnus gives him a blank look. “You fought with Lup. You killed yourself. It’s a bread pudding day.”

Taako frowns. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You always make bread pudding when you’re having a tough time. Everyone know that,” Magnus says.

Taako wants to snarl and insist that none of them know shit about him, he doesn’t even know shit about himself anymore, but he resists. He’s fought enough for today.

Magnus lets the silence sit for a minute and works with him on crumbling the bread. It feels nice to rip something apart. Taako might be doing it with more vigor than is strictly required.

“Hey, what do you think we’re gonna see in this world?” Magnus asks when he can’t stand the quiet anymore.

Taako shrugs. “No idea.”

Magnus grins at him conspiratorially. “Did you have a _vision_?” he whispers. Taako rolls his eyes.

“I’m not a fucking divination wizard, Magnus, learn your shit. I don’t get visions,” he insists. Magnus, as always, laughs indulgently and completely ignores him. Prick.

“Right, right. So do you have a _feeling_?” he asks instead. Taako rips a stubborn crust in half just for the sake of it.

“Fine. We’ll probably hit the planet soon,” he grumbles. “This’ll be a good cycle.”

He’d tried in the beginning not to let anyone know what he knew, but Magnus had latched on to the idea that Taako could see the future and everyone else seemed to think it was a harmless joke. It couldn’t be too risky if it was just Magnus, and he never gave out any details that would give him away. It was fine.

Besides, as soon as he could convince Kravitz to do the right thing, he wouldn’t have to worry about his crewmates finding anything out for a long time.

Magnus is looking at him hopefully. It’s hard to think dark thoughts with that face next to you. “Really? You think so?”

Taako squirms. “Fuck if I know, I make things into other things. I don’t know why you ask me this shit.”

“Is that why you killed yourself? Because this cycle is really good and you wanted to skip to the good cycle?” Magnus asks. Magnus, Magnus. Always looking for the best in people. He’d better stop that soon.

“Do we have to talk about this?” Taako says.

Magnus makes sad eyes at him. “It was really lonely without you,” he says. “Fischer missed you.”

Taako scowls. “You keep your demon fish away from me, hellspawn. I see that thing in range and I’ll shoot,” he says.

“N’aww, you love him,” Magnus coos, and Taako uses a larger fire than strictly necessary to melt the butter with. Magnus is unintimidated.

“I love him like you love that spider I hid in your pillow,” he retorts. Magnus gasps.

“The what?!? You didn’t, you didn’t!” He looks around like it might be in the room with them, dancing from foot to foot. Taako snorts.

“Naw, I was dead last cycle.” Magnus slumps against the table, looking pathetically relieved and pushing it several inches. “Bryan’s gotta be dead by now. You’ve just got her great-great-grandchildren or something. How long do spiders live?”

Magnus stiffens up like he’s been shocked before giving in to despair. “I _hate_ you.”

Well, he’s gotta get used to hearing it some time.

“Everyone loves me. I’m Taako. From TV!” he grins and artfully drizzles the butter over the bread before whisking over for the wet ingredients.

“You’re a monster,” Magnus groans into his hands.

Taako keeps up the smile. “But I’m a pretty one!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HIM BE SAD BOY HIM BE SAD BOY
> 
> Anyway uh. Let me know how I did on the reunion scene, I'm not really comfortable writing romance and I want to improve. Was it really bad? I can't tell anymore.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meetings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am updating this fic before the And I 'verse...I have abandoned my baby...my firstborn...
> 
> There is passing mention of suicide in this chapter; it deals with the consequences of Taako killing himself and implies that Barry's mother attempted suicide at some point as well. That's not something this fic will deal with in detail, but it is referenced vaguely.
> 
> Also, there's a single apostrophe in this fic that looks different from all the others. It doesn't mean anything, I was just too lazy to fix it. Have fun with that nagging at you for the rest of your life.

When supper is ready and the pudding’s in the oven for dessert, Taako volunteers to go get his sister. Alternately, he is voluntold to get his sister. The world may never know the real truth. Anyway, he is going to their room and collecting his sister as quickly as possible and avoiding any and all emotions on his way.

He knocks very quietly. “Supper’sreadyLup!” he calls through the door before making a quick about-face and beating a hasty retreat.

He gets three steps before a Bigby’s hand catches him.

Fuck. So much for that.

“I’ll be there in a moment. Come in first?” his sister asks sweetly. He does struggle free of the hand, but it’s too late. She’s got him now and she knows it. They’re dealing with this.

He meekly opens the door and enters. Lup’s on her bed with her wand out, a couple sparks dying out around her like she was playing with them before he came. Now that he’s had a while to chill out, he doesn’t think he can scrape up the energy to fight with her. She really was right.

She sits up and pats the bed beside her. He sits down cautiously. She doesn’t look like she’s gonna yell at him. She takes one of his hands in both of hers and worries at his nail polish.

“Taako,” she says.

He looks at her through his lashes, but she’s not looking at him. “Lup.”

“I’m sorry,” she says.

He jumps a little, he’s so surprised. She cradles his hand more firmly; a sister-shaped steel trap. She’s gentle about it, though. “What?”

She looks up and scowls at him, but she keeps rubbing soothing little circles in his hand with her thumb.

“I said I’m sorry. For earlier. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” She smooths the skin and kneads it. It’s cold, but she’s bringing warmth into it. He hadn’t realized how stiff his hands had been.

He frowns. “No, don’t be. I was being an ass, I should have thought of how you would feel.”

He can be cruel and they both know it—it’s harder to bring out of her, but she can be, too. If she’d killed herself on him he would have freaked out just as much, lich or no.

Only he’s not so good at forgiveness, so it would have taken a lot longer for them to stop fighting. He’s almost grateful it turned out this way. He can’t quite regret skipping that last year, but this way he can have his cake and eat it, too.

“Okay, yeah, you were being a major dick. But I shouldn’t have gotten all in your face like that either. You need help and I got mad at you for it,” she says and his brows furrow. He puts his other hand on hers.

“Hey, that wasn’t a cry for help type of situation. I just needed to skip a year, I did, I was a dick about it and you got mad. Water under the bridge,” he says. The last thing he needs is for Lup to think he needs her to save him.

Wait. He’d meant to say something there. He leans forward to catch her eye.

“I’m sorry too, though. I shouldn’t have just left you with a body and nothing to go on. I wasn’t thinking about what it would do to you and I’m sorry.”

She grips his hand hard and looks away from him.

“It sucked,” she says. “You were just dead and no one knew why. It wasn’t fair to do that to me.”

He takes his hand from hers, replacing it with the other so he can put an arm around her shoulders. He tries to soak up the contact, memorize it for every time he’ll need it later. She plays with his fingers like they did when they were young.

“I’m sorry, Lup.” He squeezes her. “I.”

He can’t promise this. He’s never broken a promise to his sister and he’s not about to start. Making a commitment like this would mess up everything he has planned.

But Lup is leaning into him and her shoulders are hitching and he knows what it is to miss your twin.

“I promise I won’t do it again,” he says.

She looks up, startled, practicality warring with desperation. With grief. He did that to her. “You can’t promise that. You’ll die again at some point.”

“I can’t promise not to die,” because that’s unacceptable, “but I promise I won’t kill myself. Swear.”

He’ll just have to convince Kravitz. Maybe the Raven Queen would do it? He’s supposed to be dead like a gazillion times over anyway, isn’t he? All else fails and he can get some bandit or marauder, right?

Lup nearly crushes his hand in her grip. “Not good enough.”

What else can he do? “What, you want me to promise not to die in front of you? You know I can’t keep that one,” he says. She shakes her head, looks into his eyes like she can burn everything else away.

“Promise me you’ll talk to me next time. If you feel like that again, you’ll let us help you. Please, Taako,” she demands, and that’s…that one’s harder. He can’t deny her this, though. Even if she hates him for it.

“I promise, Lup. I’ll talk to you.” He’s lying, he’s lying, he’s lying to his sister and she knows it. She puts her arms around him.

“We’re gonna get you through this, Taako,” she says in his ear. “It’s gonna be okay. You just need to let us help you.”

He wishes he could. He nods into her hair in case it’ll make her feel better to believe it.

She senses his hesitation and continues. “We will. Actually—this year let’s just. Let’s take a break. We’ll find the light and all but when we’re not looking for it or once we’ve found it, we can just have a vacation. Recuperate some, see what this world has to offer. We don’t always have to be working, do we?” She tips them both to lie on the bed, still embracing each other. Taako worries for half a second about crushing her, but she’s Lup. She’s uncrushable.

“You don’t have to do that for me. I’ll be fine, Lup, it was just one cycle,” he tells her, but she holds him close.

“No, it’ll be good for all of us. Nearly a hundred years, and when was the last time we had a really nice one? We can do anything. You can try surfing again, if there’s water around. Blow some shit up with the krebstar. Just a little while without fighting, it’ll be nice,” she says. “The Hunger’ll still be there next year. We can take this one of to just be happy for a little while.”

It’s a sweet sentiment. Addicting. Taako wants very badly for it to be possible. But he already has plans for the year, and they don’t involve having a good time.

She’ll get the year off, though. She’ll get as many years off as she wants. The rest of her life, if that’s what it takes. He nods.

“Yeah, a vacation sounds nice. A little time for just us,” he agrees quietly.

There’s a moment of pause as he tries to commit to memory everything about this moment, how it feels to have his sister right there with him, what it means not to be alone. But there’s one thing, there’s just one thing he has to know.

“Lup, do you forgive me?” he asks. Fuck, that hadn’t been what he’d meant to ask. He hates how soft his voice is, the doubt he can hear in it.

She tightens her hold. “I forgave you the moment you did it. I just want you to be happy.”

Fuck. _Fuck_. She’s really not gonna make this easy on him, is she?

He adjusts his arms so she can’t move to look at his face, hooks his chin over her shoulder just in case.

“Lup, what would it take for you to hate me?” he asks.

Immediately, her hands run up and down his back, firm and comforting. She doesn’t freak out, though. He has to wonder if he’s been too transparent, if she was expecting this.

“Not a thing,” she says. “There is nothing that could make me hate you, Koko. Not anything in this world and nothing in any other.”

He knows she can feel him wince, but it hits him like a dagger to the gut. _Nothing_. There is _nothing_ he can do to save her.

Nothing she can think of, anyway. She doesn’t know what he’s planning, though. She’ll learn.

He remembers what he was like without her, when she was missing and when he forgot. He remembers the emptiness, the disconnect, remembers the mindless puppet he’d been for years. Pinocchio forgetting he wasn’t a real boy.

She’ll learn. She’ll learn not to miss him.

And in the meantime, he holds his sister and hides a sob in her shoulder. Thankfully, mercifully, she doesn’t ask him to say anything else.

When he’s cried himself out and she’s maybe shed a few tears of her own, they stay right where they are for a while longer. Neither of them want to be alone. But eventually there’s a soft knock at the door, and Barry’s voice floats through.

“Lup? Taako? Are you coming to supper? We kept your plates for you,” he calls, opening the door a crack. Neither of them stop him, so he comes in and rests a hand solidly on Taako’s shoulder. He hides his face in his sister. He doesn’t want to see anyone right now.

But he does need to eat, and so does she. He squeezes her tight, once, and lets go so they can get up. Barry gives him a hand, even though he wouldn’t be a very good wizard if he couldn’t escape a soft bed.

“Yeah, time for some bomb food. We got—” he remembers what Magnus had said about bread pudding days. “—dessert. Of no specific kind. It’s good.”

He can’t quite muster the energy to make a show of it, but Lup stands and leans heavily on him. She’s solid and present next to him and he doesn’t say anything, but he’s grateful for it. Barry still hasn’t let go of his shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m sure it is. Let’s get at it,” Lup smiles warmly at him and he feels like a fraud. He’s lying to her and he’s going to leave her and she’s smiling at him like that. He’s got to be the worst kind of scumbag.

Supper is…warm. Everyone else has finished their meal by now, but they kept the pudding until he and Lup came out, so their family chows down on dessert while he and Lup get their nosh on. Magnus tells him at least four times how good it all is, and Lucretia gives him an understanding smile and saves him from number five. Merle, the taciturn bastard, stumbles through something that might be a compliment before rolling his eyes and patting Taako’s hip. Davenport radiates that sort of…gentle authority thing he has, his ‘I am your boss and I am so proud of you, I love you’ type of thing. Magnus had described it as paternal once, but, well, Taako wouldn’t know. He was pretty sure he never treated Angus like that. Bad for his rep.

Barry doesn’t leave his or Lup’s side. He doesn’t have much to say, but Taako’s pretty sure he’s never out of arm’s length of the denim nightmare. Which, given what he’s been told about Barry’s mother…fair. He is beginning to regret such a public suicide. He really hadn’t thought it would affect them this much.

No one mentions his death or disappearance, or the fight, for all of the meal. No one asks him to make any promises, or to apologize, or to do anything but eat good food and laugh at good jokes. Taako can’t help but relax, and by the time he’s finished, he’s even ribbing back despite himself. He really should be getting them used to living without them, but…

Well, when you’re surrounded by family and they all want you to be happy, it’s hard to think about your impending deal with death. He can give them this, right? A few weeks of happiness, all together, before he gets down to business. He can do that.

When he clears his plate and finally gets Magnus to stop refilling it, Lup grabs it before he can bother washing it.

“I’ve got it,” she says. “You’ve got debrief.”

He looks around and sure enough, Davenport’s already waiting at the door. Right. One more tough conversation tonight. He braces himself, smiles, and says, “Right-o, let’s get this shit done.”

Davenport gives him a smile and makes a gesture for him to go ahead, and he does, striding elegantly by and straight to his room.

“This good for talking?” he asks, because he is exhausted and it has been a long fucking day.

“Works for me,” Davenport says, sitting in his swivel chair. It doesn’t have a step up, so he does have a little trouble getting up there, but Taako doesn’t patronize him by trying to help. He flops on his bed and stares at the ceiling.

“So you wanted to talk?” he asks. He’s pretty sure he already knows how this is gonna go, but he’s exhausted. He needs a damn nap. Once this is finished, he promises himself. Scheming can wait a few more hours.

“You did kill yourself,” Davenport says, point-blank. This is why Taako likes the guy. Gets right to the point, no dilly-dallying around apologizing for it. “With extreme prejudice. That spell could kill a dozen of you.”

Well, actually…no, now that he thinks about it, yeah, it could kill about fifteen of him. He’d mostly been trying to avoid making a mess of gore or scorch marks, but yeah, he had maybe used a little more firepower than was absolutely necessary. Huh.

“I didn’t want the control room to smell,” he says truthfully, because he can't think of anything else to say. Fireball leaves an awful aftertaste. Burnt flesh, fat, hair…it’s damn near impossible to scrub out, too. He didn’t want to be rematerializing into a gross control room on the scorched remains of himself.

Davenport huffs out what might be a laugh. “Well, you managed that much, at least. Lup says you promised not to kill yourself again?”

Taako narrowed his eyes. He didn’t remember Lup and Davenport running off to talk at all during supper. But he let it go. “Yeah. Just wanted to skip the one.”

Davenport watches him keenly. Through the corner of his eye, Taako watches back. There’s silence for a moment.

“Lup said something earlier,” Taako says, because they’re going to have to talk eventually and he’d rather talk about this. Davenport hums encouragingly.

“She mentioned, uh. She talked about taking a vacation?” He’s not too sure how Davenport will feel about this, actually. He’s the one that can decide, ultimately, whether it’s a go or not.

Actually, thinking about it…no reason not to let his captain decide what to do one last time. Whatever Davenport says, he’ll follow. Right up until the relics are made.

Davenport nods. “We haven’t exactly had a restful time of it lately,” he says wryly. “I think it would do us all good to take a break. Are you good to look for the light first if we take it slow?”

Taako stretches luxuriously. “’s it matter? We gotta find it,” he groans.

There’s silence from the other end of the room. He glances over.

Davenport is looking at him with his serious captain face. He sits up automatically, mid-stretch.

“What we need is for all of our crew members to be safe and healthy,” Captain Davenport says. Taako furrows his brow a bit.

“But I—I mean uh.” He shifts. Davenport is still looking at him with that face. “Of course. Obviously. Right, uh, I, uh, uh, yeah. Gotta be in—the world starts and ends with Taako, duh. I’m, uh, I’m good. We can, yeah.”

It’s very difficult to act casual with the full weight of a century of captaining experience being leveled at you in a stare. Taako is trying his damnedest to keep it breezy, but. He is a little intimidated. It would be super fucking suspicious for him to have to wander off and recover the light on his own, though. He does need the crew to look for it.

Davenport appears to find what he’s looking for, or otherwise he gets sick of making Taako sweat, because he quits the gaze of terror.

“If you’re sure,” he says. Taako isn’t even sure he actually said anything to answer the question. He isn’t sure there was a question. He is getting the feeling of a test and he is also getting the feeling that he is failing it. Or not failing it?

“Yeah, um, let’s find these—the light, yeah, whoo. Can we, once we find it can we take a day off, though? Like a hell of a party. Your boy’s gonna get schwasted.” He grins in a way that he hopes is convincing, maybe? Davenport doesn’t blatantly doubt him, it’s fine, it’s fine. He can’t actually read minds, can he? Taako would know if he did that?

“Of course.” Holy shit he can. Taako is doomed. No, wait. He’s answering the question. “We’ll take it easy while we search, too. The health of the crew is our priority.”

“Right, yeah, crew health, of course,” Taako says. He needs this conversation to be over, it has been the longest fucking day and he is exhausted. He doesn’t want to know how bad he freaked Davenport out. Their captain is supposed to be unflappable.

Through some divine providence, Davenport seems to understand. He stands up and puts a hand on Taako’s knee.

“Get some rest, Taako. This year’s on the rest of us.” And before Taako can respond, he’s out the door.

Taako watches him go and just stares at the door for a minute. Magically-induced catnap aside, it’s been a year since he’s slept and he’s spent at least four hours today fighting the people he loves. He’s not entirely sure he could get out of bed right now even if he managed to summon up a desire to.

He’s actually still staring blankly at the door, waiting for the urge to change into pajamas to come, when it opens again. Lup.

“Hi, Lup,” he says. He’s too tired to say much else. She looks pretty beat, too.

“Hey, Koko,” she says. “You goin’ to bed?”

He works up to a nod and hums in the affirmative, but doesn’t move. She sits on the bed next to him.

“Pretty sure you have to get under the covers for that,” she reminds him. He groans. He doesn’t wanna get up.

“Come to think of it, you don’t wanna sleep in that. At least take the jacket off.” She tugs on the sleeve of it and he offers his arm. She can take it off him if she wants.

And then, because she is his sister and Lup is extra, she does take the jacket off. It takes a lot of squirming and effort on her part and a minimum of rolling around on his, but she bullies him under the sheets, too, and takes off his shoes before flopping down next to him.

“Yeah, you got the right idea. Bed time,” she says. He mumbles in the affirmative.

“’Night, Lup,” he says. “Love you.”

“’Night, love you.”

* * *

 

Now:

She climbs up to the deck where her brother died and her love is leaned over a table they’d dragged out there, on the map they had pinned down. All the locations they’ve searched for the relics in are marked down. He’s drooping, just about nodding off with his face in his hands. She goes to him and puts an arm around his shoulders.

“What’s cookin’, good lookin’?” she asks, but she’s exhausted too and it shows. He looks up at her through his fingers.

“Oh, Lup. Sorry, I was—I must have been more tired than I thought. I found another lead,” he says. “There’s this warlock matching his description who was trying for a professor position at the college in Waterdeep. My source didn’t remember a name but she said Krav sounded familiar.”

Lup sits next to him. “Well that’s something. We don’t know for sure that that was his real name, though.”

Barry shrugs. They don’t know shit about this dude and they know it. Months of searching every nook and cranny and it was like he’d just ceased to exist that night. Like he hadn’t existed before that night, even.

“It’s worth a shot,” he says eventually. “It hasn’t worked before but—one of these days something has to pan out. We have eternity on this guy.”

“Yeah,” Lup says, noncommittal. They’ve tried everything, it seems. Resurrection from the universe’s most powerful necromancer hadn’t been able to bring Taako’s soul back and all they can think of is to find the guy who killed him. There has to be something up with that deal he’d made, the weapon the guy had used, _something_.

She leans on Barry. She barely dares to voice it but she needs to ask.

“Bear, what if he’s just gone?”

And then it happens.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;D
> 
> Also, Taako says it wasn't a cry for help situation but please consider: Taako is a lying liar who lies. He needs his sister to save his dumb ass and he knows it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So what _is_ Taako up to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't figure out a way to out-and-out say what's up in the narrative without it sounding forced, but I imagine you'll have some ideas by the end of the chapter :D This chapter was supposed to have another scene, but I really liked this cutoff point so it ended up going here. Next time we will resolve the Starblaster crew!
> 
> This does take place a few weeks before last chapter because chronological narratives are for suckers.

Kravitz knows as soon as he sees him.

“You did it.”

Taako nods. There’s no point in denying it.

“Yup. Went like a breeze.”

His undead paramour takes a moment just to look at him—he looks different, now. Not on the surface but fundamentally. He is more than he ever was before. He smiles awkwardly.

“Was it—” Kravitz shakes his head. “What am I saying, if course it was painful. Taako, you said you’d wait so I could be there.”

He’s looking so hurt and Taako can’t handle that. He’s always been a sucker for people who like him. He braces his arms on Kravitz’s shoulders in what could sort of be a hug. Touching him hurts a little bit, burns briefly but doesn’t burn out.

Safety assured, he leans on Kravitz and rests his head on his shoulder. Through the layers, it barely stings at all. “You woulda stopped me,” he says, because his boyfriend is not as sneaky as he thinks he is. He hasn’t been lying for the past hundred years, for one.

Kravitz draws back and frames Taako’s face in his hands, wincing when he sees the light coming off their skin. Taako can’t quite look him in the eyes until he realizes _screw this_ and glares defiantly. He’s doing the right thing.

Kravitz draws his hands back and looks at them like he can’t quite believe they’re there, shakes himself. “Of course I would have! Mortals aren’t meant for this Taako, and you don’t have a goddess on your side! I barely survived through the grace of my Lady, stubbornness alone will not keep you!”

He looks very much like he wants to be shaking Taako, but he’s keeping his distance. Taako grabs his hands because, seriously, fuck that. He needs his boyfriend cuddles and he’s not gonna be stopped by a little godly fire. He laughs a little for show.

“Please, Krav. I’ll be fine. Just gotta keep my eyes on the prize, yeah? I can focus when I need to. Just a little scatterbrained.” The worst of it is over with, anyway. For now. Being in his new home helps a lot.

Kravitz looks, hah, grim. He cradles Taako’s hands but doesn’t drop them. “Taako, please.”

Taako scowls. “Hey, I’m holding up my end of the deal. I don’t know what else you want from me, you knew what I was planning.”

Kravitz grimaces and looks away. He hadn’t planned on it getting this far, Taako knows. He doesn’t have a plan from here on out. Serves him right for thinking Taako would change his mind; Lup’s not the only one who can make unholy life changes.

“A little help would be nice,” Kravitz can’t quite decide whether to be angry or not. It’s kind of cute. Reminds Taako of old times. “I’m not a planar wizard, Taako, I don’t know how to even start to reverse this! This shit shouldn’t even be possible!”

Taako rolls his eyes. “I’m not helping you undo this shit, I worked hard on it. Why are you even bothering? It’s fine, I’m still me. Just powerful enough to make a damn difference this time.”

Kravitz mutters something that Taako graciously ignores and looks at their hands. They’re burning bright, beginning to really bother, but Taako doesn’t take them back.

Kravitz looks up suddenly, intensely. “I love you, you know that? I’ll be right here. I won’t let you lose yourself. It’s gonna suck at first but I’m right here for you.”

Fuck, he’s really worried. It seems like all Taako can do is worry people these days. He can’t figure out why none of them believe he’s _fine_.

He does free his hands now to fold them in Kravitz’s collar and draw him close. He keeps eye contact this time, even though it’s hard.

“I know. I love you too, Krav. Thank you.” He clenches his hands in the ruff of Kravitz’s cloak. “And thanks for, you know…it’s stupid, but I’m glad you were the one to…”

He does have to trail off now, but Kravitz seems to understand. He cradles the back of Taako’s head in his hands. “No one wants to die alone. This isn’t the first time I’ve finished it for someone and it won’t be the last. I’m sorry we couldn’t finish before your family got there.”

Taako grimaces. It would have been _really_ nice not to have an audience for his gore fest. Or to have literally any other members of the crew see it than those three.

Well, at least Barry hadn’t been there. That would have been the cherry on the damn tree.

Kravitz had been really messed up about it, too. He’d have found some bandit to do it if he’d known it would be so bad. Or maybe not. He glad it was Krav.

Besides, the irony was fun.

Still, it wasn’t fair to force his beau into murdering him and he knew it. He was feeling, maybe, a little guilty. He grabbed the folder he’d put together just for this.

“Hey, Krav. I wanted to talk about our deal.” Like magic, Kravitz stiffens right up and withdraws.

“What about it?” he asks cautiously. Well, yeah, that’s fair. Fine. Taako isn't hurt.

“Actually, I wanted to give you a little something extra. The deal was that I wouldn’t stop you from poking around to undo this, but…well, I didn’t think your end would be as hard as it was. Or in general, I wasn’t thinking. I wanna give you my notes.” He shoves the folder in Kravitz’s direction. The notes are as neat as he can get them (not very) and goddamn color coded for non-wizard reading ease. Kravitz still won’t be able to do shit with them because Taako made sure this thing was nigh unbreakable, but maybe it’ll make him feel better to have it in black and white, as it were. Help him give up on this.

Kravitz starts. “Really? The real thing?” He starts flipping frantically through the folder, barely pausing to catch a word or two per page. He’s definitely not gonna get anything from them like that.

Taako smiles indulgently at him, because he’s trying so hard even if he's seriously misguided. “Hey, you know I can’t sabotage you,” he says, manifesting the mark of their deal. “Don’t expect me to give you a handout like this again, though. I’m not letting you wreck all my plans. Just doin’ you a favor ‘cause you held up your end so well.”

Kravitz nods, distracted. “Yeah, I love death pacts with my boyfriend. Just my favorite,” he mumbles, squinting at a transmutation circle. Hah, that one had just been a doodle. Oops.

“You know it,” Taako returns. He feels a disturbance in the force. “Hey, we have our first guests! Wanna help entertain?”

“Nah, I’m gonna read…” Kravitz absently tears a portal, still staring intently at the papers. Taako does feel a little bad now. All he’s gonna find is that bonds are heckin’ powerful and harder to break than to create.

Still, he waves cheekily and blows a kiss. “Have fun, babe.”

He heads to the front and checks it out—better and better, their first guest isn’t just anyone. They’ve got the guest of honor already. He activates the stage lights with a flick of his wrist and poses as she comes up.

“Julia Waxman!” he greets, grinning. She starts and turns her crossbow on him, because some people have no appreciation for showmanship. “Welcome to Wonderland!”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lup swears a lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm serious she says the word fuck 34 separate times this chapter. Angry girl.
> 
> This is I think the first chapter in this fic where I got every scene I wanted to in. I was tempted to cut it off when Krav left but I RESISTED. for YOU. and for FUN.
> 
> Posting without editing because this chapter ate my soul and I can never look at it again.

“Bear, what if he’s just gone?” Lup asks, and then it happens. The same type of portal that killed her brother opens up and that _fucker_ walks right back into her life.

She casts fireball and Krav screams, opening another portal and disappearing.

“Fuck!” Lup says.

Barry approaches the space where the portal had been and looks at it. “Was that—”

“ _Fuck_!”

Another portal opens, three feet to his left, and Barry hold out his hands. “Lup don’t—”

Too late. “Fuck you!” Lup shouts, and casts another fireball. Krav expects it this time, dodges out of the way and retreats.

Barry holds his hand over the krebstar. She’s taken to using it since Taako took her umbra staff. “Lup don’t blow him up we need him—”

She snarls. “He’ll survive. He killed my brother!”

Sure, they need answers from him, but he doesn’t have to be healthy for that. Doesn’t even need to be willing. He _killed Taako_.

The porthole opens and Davenport climbs out, followed closely by Merle. “Barry, Lup. What’s going on?”

Right, the alarm. That level of offensive magic probably set it off midway through bridge time.

“Krav is back,” she growls, removing the krebstar from Barry’s hand and preparing another fireball.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Davenport says, with feeling. Barry nods, and the porthole opens again. Lucretia’s head peeks out.

“What’s wrong? I heard—” Lup cuts her off. “Krav.”

Her expression falls and she climbs out, making room for Magnus to scramble up the ladder holding an axe. Good, Lup won’t have to hold a concentration spell for him this time.

Another portal rips open and all six of them whip around to face it, wands and weapon drawn. Then Magnus lowers his axe.

“Krav is a child?” Davenport asks. The figure standing in front of the still-open portal is much younger than Krav had been, looking a little frightened but trying his very best to be brave. He doesn’t seem to be an illusion.

Lup frowns and lowers her brother’s glaive, cautiously approaching the child.

“No,” she says absently, trying to catch any clue of who the fuck this is. He looks a little like Krav, maybe? A son? “Who the fuck are you, kiddo?”

The kid chuckles nervously. “My name is Angus McDonald, world’s greatest detective! I’d, uh, appreciate if you didn’t blow me up, Miss Lup!”

“How do you know my name?” Lup demands. She doesn’t holster the krebstar, but she doesn’t point it at him either. He’s, like, twelve.

Angus brightens at that, though. He stands up straight and grins up at her.

“Oh, Taako told me! He’s my very good friend!” He beams. Lup frowns.

“Taako’s dead, kid.” And given his method of transportation, he should know that. Unless Krav lied to him. He seemed the type.

Angus’s smile falters a little at that, but quickly returns to full. “I know. I’m here to help! But you need to let Kravitz through, first. It’s very important to the case!”

This all seems a little too convenient to Lup, and a glance back at Davenport shows a similar line of thought. He’s looking closely at the kid.

“Where’d you get that wand?” he asks, and Lup looks closer at the wand hanging from a lanyard around his neck.

It’s Taako’s fucking wand. The one he used before the krebstar. This kid has Taako’s fucking wand.

Either he really is a friend or…

“Taako gave it to me! He teaches me magic sometimes and he saved my life!” Angus holds the wand out for inspection and Lup nearly snatches it away from him, lanyard and all. But her hand goes through his. She looks closer at him, an idea budding in her head.

“Hey, kid,” she says. “You sure about that? You’re definitely still alive?”

He looks sheepish. “I mean, not traditionally, no. I was alive, but my body got pretty beat up and I got separated from it. That’s when Taako saved me, though! I mean, he didn’t mean to, but he saved my life! Now I get to be born again and be alive in a few years!”

That doesn’t sound… _unlike_ Taako, per se. He’s all about avoiding the consequences of your dumbass decisions. But moving earth this much for some kid he can’t have known for long? They’d barely been in this planar system two weeks when he’d died.

“Angus,” Davenport says. “Even if what you’re saying is true, this man killed a member of my crew in cold blood. Why would we allow him on our ship?”

Angus furrows his little ghostly brows. Lup takes one look at that troubled face and begins to understand the concept of Taako saving this kid.

“I know you don’t like him, but you really need to hear what he has to say. You don’t have to be not suspicious of him! You’re all very good at rampant paranoia! But I think you’ll really regret it if you don’t listen to him at least a little bit.” He glances at Lucretia. “You want to hear from the source, right? You know something isn’t right about this, don’t you?”

“Can you communicate with him right now?” Davenport asks. Angus holds up a bead handing from his lanyard.

“I’ve got a stone of farspeech with him! I’ll tell him you agreed to not blow him up this time!” He doesn’t have to, though, as Krav(itz?) emerges cautiously from the still-open portal behind him.

Lup sets him a little bit on fire. Not a lot.

“Lup,” Davenport says, and she scowls.

“Sorry, instinct. When _people kill my brother_ I usually shoot to kill,” she spits. Maybe they do need this guy’s brain picked over, but she doesn’t have to be happy about it.

The guy winces and looks ashamed of himself, which, good. That’s a tiny start on how he should be feeling for the rest of his miserable life.

He herds Angus behind him. “Angus, maybe you should go visit your—mentor. He could use some time off work.”

He’s looking at her apologetically, shuffling Angus to the portal, keeping an eye on each of them. This does not seem like the face of a murderer. Then again, looks can be deceiving. This guy had Taako fooled.

“I’m coming back to help them later,” Angus says. “I want to help Taako too. They’ll need me.”

Kravitz grimaces but doesn’t argue. “If you really want to. Tell him I love him and I’ll be back tonight, okay?” He ushers Angus through the portal and it seals up behind him.

He doesn’t turn around for a second, taking a deep breath and facing away from them. He’s wearing the same cloak he was the night he’d killed Taako.

He killed Taako and he gets to have a family. He has a son who he can send into hostile territory and a—boyfriend, maybe?—who he loves and he took her brother from her. Lup seethes.

He turns around and he looks so goddamn _sorry_ and Lup can’t take it.

“Hey, _fuck_ you, brother-killer. What, you get to have a family and the rest of us don’t? Don’t you fucking look at me like that,” she snarls, and she’s torn between grabbing his collar and _choking_ him and not wanting to touch this fucking bastard. He looks appropriately intimidated and holds his hands out.

“That’s what I came here to talk about,” he says slowly, carefully. Like Lup is some kind of rabid dog.

“What, you feel bad about stabbing my brother in the back? You here to say sorry for cutting him in half in his own home?” Barry’s hand rests on her arm, a gentle reminder to ground herself. Her veins burn as her lich form fuzzes out and struggles to escape her physical, alive body. The man takes half a step back and Lup lunges to match it.

“Among other things,” Kravitz says. “I need your help—”

Lup laughs. Merle does, too. Kravitz squares his shoulders and steps forward.

“Please.”

She stops laughing and lets a warning flame spurt out of the krebstar. He ignores it and continues forward.

“I wouldn’t ask if I had any other options. I need you. Please just hear me out,” he says. It does feel a little soothing to see this monster begging, suffering for what he did. Lup bares her teeth.

Merle steps forward, and for a second Lup thinks he’s gonna try to negotiate this out, but nah. Taako’s his favorite, he’s understandably a little miffed.

“Yeah, fuck you, buddy,” he says. “Answer Barry’s questions and get the fuck out.”

He casts a spell and Lup feels it wash over her. Kravitz seems unaffected, though, startling and stepping back but not visibly different.

“Fuck,” Merle says.

“Wait, wait,” Kravitz interrupts. “Zone of truth, right? Cast it again, I won’t resist. I have nothing to hide from you.”

Merle squints suspiciously, but he casts the spell again. Lup feels it take hold of her and this time Kravitz’s eyes do go a little bright and shiny.

“See?” he says. “I’m being totally, completely honest with you as much as I possibly can. I’m not here to hurt any of you. Please, just hear me out.”

Davenport holsters his wand and walks to the rough circle of chairs.

“You have two minutes. This had better be good,” he says.

Lup spins to face her captain. “You’re _listening_ to this fucker? He killed my brother! We don’t need to get chatty with him, we need to figure out what he did so I can kill him and get Taako back!”

Barry’s hold on her arm tightens. “Lup, maybe it’s not a good idea to antagonize this guy,” he hisses, though apparently not quietly enough to escape Kravitz’s notice.

“I’m going to pretend you weren’t just talking about necromancy in the highest degree,” he says. Then he shakes his head. “Please, Lup. There’s nothing I can offer, nothing I can do to—”

He stops. Grins.

“What,” Lup asks suspiciously.

“I can help you get Taako back. If you hear me out I can help you bring him home.” He’s holding his hands out, grinning hopefully, and all Lup can think of is that this fucker’s exactly Taako’s type. Sincere, handsome, passionate. And somehow, every goddamned time, they all turned out to be douchebags who stabbed him in the back. In this case, literally.

She keeps the krebstar poised to attack and stalks over to Taako’s chair, because they only have seven of them and like hell she’s gonna let this bastard sit in her brother’s spot. Fuck that.

“Start talking,” she demands.

He flashes her a perfect smile, so relieved and grateful, and she refuses to fall for it. Fuck this guy.

“Taako—I—I guess I should start from the very start, huh?” He sits in Lup’s chair, looking somewhat uncomfortable surrounded by her and Barry. Tough shit.

“That would be helpful,” Lucretia says. She’s got a notebook from somewhere—Lup can’t prove she doesn’t have a pocket dimension for those—and it’s open to a new page. Good. They’ll be able to look over whatever they get from him.

Kravitz nods. “Of course. My…hm. My lover…knew that something was coming to this world. Something awful and dark. The Hunger, you call it. He saw that it would consume our plane without slowing down, and he wanted to save it.”

“How do you know what we call it?” Davenport asks. Lup looks at Barry. He’s being unusually quiet, watching Kravitz intently, moving his wand a little bit and mumbling.

“We’ll get there,” Kravitz says. “My lover, of course, he wanted to stop it. He knew he didn’t have the power to protect our world on his own, though. And he was afraid of being—cut off from this mission, suddenly.”

“And that’s where Taako comes in?” Lup asks. She doesn’t particularly care about this dude’s lover. Great, this plane is fighting back, whatever. She’s here for her brother.

“Not quite yet.” Kravitz shakes his head. “If Taako had really used his head about it, he probably would have been able to think of something better. But instead my lover bound himself to the prime material plane with a modification on a wizard’s oath.”

“Damn,” Davenport says. Lucretia scribbles frantically in her notebook while Magnus leans over and whispers to Barry for an explanation.

Lup snorts. “Yeah, sucks to suck. Your boytoy was a dumbass and now he’s a crazy dumbass and soon he’ll be a dead dumbass, what’s this got to do with you _cutting my brother in half_?”

Kravitz clenches his hands into fists and takes deep breaths, visibly forcing himself to be calm. He has to take a minute; rub his eyes some like he’s getting a headache. Aw, poor baby. Killing people has consequences.

“You have to understand,” he says, finally, in a low voice. “I was desperate. I’m no wizard. I understand planes better than most, but I didn’t have a chance at undoing this oath on my own. Not if he was going to be fighting me the whole way, and he could lie to me about any of it and send me down the wrong path to fix it. There’s no way for me to convince him to stop this. I needed help.”

Lup is beginning to get an idea about where this is going. Barry is looking more concerned by the second.

Kravitz hangs his head. “I made a deal with Taako. His help in exchange for a favor from me. Help him with an errand, help him keep a few things confidential, and—well. As soon as we were. Hmm.”

He pauses for a moment, and speaks again, slowly, picking his words carefully and lining them up together like Taako’s prefect lines of macaroons.

“As soon as we were on the same page about the binding my lover was doing, I needed him not to be against me. If Taako were to fight me on this, it would be game over. For my lover, for my planar system. I was in a corner.” He sat back, perfect posture slumping a little into something more alive.

“He tricked you,” Lup guessed. It wasn’t something they hadn’t done before, in desperate times and in less desperate times. Kravitz shakes his head.

“I knew what I was getting into. He didn’t make any secret of his intentions. I was desperate and I took the best chance I saw. I don’t regret it.” He takes a deep breath. “But. His intentions were—I—well, you know what happened. I killed him.”

Lup barks out a laugh.

“And now you want our help. What, you burned through one of us and now you’re going down the line? Gonna keep killing us until one of us gives you what you want without any of the trouble?” She sneers and her hands are shaking with anger. He’d killed Taako because he didn’t like his _plans_ , didn’t want to uphold his part of the deal. Had to be the relics, there. The relics which would keep the Hunger from coming in the first place, the best bet at saving his precious lover.

“No!” Kravitz exclaims, lurching forward in his chair. He looks around the circle, then back at Lup. “No, no, that’s not what—look, I can’t tell you everything but—zone of truth is still active, right? You have to believe me, I—I would tell you everything if I could. I _would_. But I didn’t—Taako’s not really…gone.”

Lup straightens. Finally, some answers. “You talkin’ about necromancy?”

“No!” His face is almost comically horrified. She raises an eyebrow.

“Really. You cut my brother in half, but he’s not gone, and that’s _not_ necromancy.”

He looks a little sheepish. “I mean—not technically. I see how you could get that impression, but. It’s, uh cool. It’s all totally above board. Taako’s—I mean he’s not fine, he’s still dead and all and I have some serious concerns about his mental state but he’s, uh. He’s around. And not technically breaking divine law.”

Barry speaks up. “And that’s important to you,” he says more than asks. Kravitz nods enthusiastically.

“Very much so.”

“So,” Lup calls his attention back to the important bits. “If Taako’s fine why isn’t he home? I’m assuming you can’t tell us about this favor you did for him.”

Though she has a pretty good idea. They haven’t seen hide nor hair of the relics since Taako died and the Hunger still hasn’t come. Whatever he did with them, it must have been a hell of a favor.

“I can’t,” Kravitz confirms. “It’s already done, anyway. Can’t un-ring that bell.”

He thinks for a moment, and says carefully, “Taako…can’t exactly leave where he is right now.”

“Why,” Lup demands.

Kravitz frowns. “Well, can’t or won’t, I’m not really…sure. He hasn’t tried very hard. And I can’t tell you where he is. But if you help me, maybe I can find a way to help you.”

“Maybe?” Davenport, Magnus, and Lucretia each ask at once. Kravitz startles. Go team synergy.

“I mean, definitely. Taako won’t be happy with me, but, well. I did kill him. If we can get past that I’m sure it’ll be fine.” He smiles a little awkwardly and Lup scowls at him. He isn’t forgiven and he’d better damn well know it.

“Speaking of,” Lucretia says, “Why come to us at all? If Taako’s already helping you? He’s the one who’s researched bonds and planar systems, almost exhaustively. If he can’t help you fast enough I don’t know what you think we can do.”

Kravitz hunches his shoulders and doesn’t look Lup in the eye.

“Trust me, I wasn’t going to come to you. I know what I did to you by killing Taako and I know I can’t make up for it. But something—happened. Yesterday. My lover, he’s deteriorating too quickly for me to help him. I thought I had more time but I need to find something soon.” He looks real broken up about it, which, fair. If Barry had lost himself becoming a lich, Lup didn’t want to know what she would have done.

Still doesn’t excuse killing Taako, and there’s no fucking way Lup’s ever gonna trust this guy with her back or her crew, but. That’s rough.

“Why not just tell Taako that?” Lucretia presses. Kravitz shakes his head.

“Taako is doing something right now that…isn’t easy. He’s not—he isn’t in a position to help me right now. He can barely help himself,” he confesses. Lup leaps to her feet almost without realizing it.

“ _Where is he_?”

Kravitz shakes his head again. “He’s—doing badly. It’s not good. And my lover is deteriorating beyond even what the gods can repair.”

“ _Take me to him_!” Screw this guy’s loverboy, he got himself into his own mess. Lup’s brother needs her.

“If we release your lover from his bond with the prime material plane, you’ll help us save Taako? Is that the deal on the table?” Davenport asks, completely ignoring her.

“Yes.”

“And if we can’t?”

Kravitz grimaces and glances warily at Lup.

“Then I’ll still bring you to him. But. No guarantees about his condition when I do, though.”

Lup is fully goddamn prepared to kill him. Screw this guy.

“Are you threatening us?” Davenport asks levelly, but Kravitz holds his hands out.

“I’m just telling you what to expect. I’ll do my best, but it’ll be better for all of us if you can find a way to reverse this.” That sounds like a goddamned threat to Lup. She gripes the krebstar tight. She’s going to enjoy wrecking this guy’s shit just as soon as they don’t need him anymore.

“We’ll need information to start researching the nature of the connection,” Barry says, and Kravitz shuffles with something in his cloak.

“Is that a yes?” He asks.

They all look to Davenport—Kravitz too, after a second looking between Lup and, bizarrely, Lucretia. Davenport claps his hands together.

“I don’t see that we have much of a choice,” he decides. “We’ll look into this binding and try to find a way to reverse it, and you’ll lead us to Taako as best you can. I’ll request that you also do your best to look after him in the meantime?”

Kravitz nods. “Of course. Taako is—he’s very dear to me, even after a relatively short period of time. I’ll support him as best I can.”

He brings out a brightly-colored folder filled to the bursting with loose paper. _Planar Bullshit_ , says Takao’s distinctive scrawl on the cover. It’s subtitled, _Seriously Krav, give up already, this shit’s tough!_

“I have Taako’s notes from his research into the binding. He mentioned a lot about bonds, like your engine? Most of this world’s magical institutions just aren’t advanced enough for me to get help with that level of theory, but I was hoping you might know more about the matter,” he says, handing them off to Lup. She snatches them from him and starts rifling through them. There are little snarky notes interspersed throughout.

Kravitz continues. “Obviously he can’t get any further on them right now, but I was hoping you’d understand them, Lup?”

She doesn’t look up from the handful of papers in her hands. “I should blow you sky high right now,” she mutters, in case he’s getting any ideas about being friends or some shit.

He laughs. Douchebag. “You could certainly try. Or you could work with me, and when you need my help, I’ll give you a hand. Taako won’t be easy to extract from where he is, especially if he doesn’t want to go. You may need me,” He says. Like fuck they will. There is no reality where Taako wants to be separated from Lup.

“Lup,” Barry murmurs, standing to join her over the notes. He lowers his voice. “I think this is—I think we need to help this guy. Even if Taako weren’t involved.”

He’s giving her a significant look. Sounds like this Kravitz might be more than he seems. Lup squints at him suspiciously.

“Sweeten the pot, loverboy. I’m gonna need proof that you can get us to Taako,” she demands. Sure, zone of truth is nice and all, but he hasn’t outright said under the influence that they can succeed in getting Taako back if they do this for him.

Kravitz furrows his brow. “I mean I can’t—hmm. That’s a tricky one,” he says.

“I can’t—directly bring you to Taako. As part of our deal, he doesn’t want you going where he is. It’s not a…nice place, precisely. I can’t even tell you where it is, so showing you is probably off the table. I can get you an invite, but directly showing you is probably a no-go…” He fidgets with his hands, looking like he’d like to hold something. Lup needs to look into places in this planar system that require invites.

“There’s something I can…probably do. Later, though,” Kravitz offers. “I have a stone of farspeech, I can call him and you’ll hear that he’s doing alright. I’d need you to be absolutely silent, though.”

Lup nods. “Okay, go for it.”

“No, not right now. It’s not—I don’t think it’s a good idea to distract Taako from what he’s doing right now. It could be very dangerous for him,” he says. Just what kind of place has Taako gotten into? “Besides, we shouldn’t waste time talking about the situation when we could be reversing it. The sooner this bond gets dissolved, the sooner we can all go home happy.”

Well, as long as she gets to hear him soon. Lup nods and sticks her hand out, and with a bemused grin, Kravitz shakes it.

“You know you don’t really need to—I mean as soon as I make a deal with you I have to—never mind,” he says. Lup takes her hand back, a little awkwardly. What, she had no way of knowing contracts were verbal on this plane. She sits back down.

“Are you friends with Taako?” Magnus asks Kravitz, apropos of nothing.

“Yes,” Kravitz says, and then, “Fuck.”

Hah, caught by the zone. “What the fuck are you doing letting him get into this bullshit, then?”

Kravitz shakes his head. “Look, I don’t agree with much of what he’s doing right now, but he is very dear to me. Even without our deal, it was always my intention to look out for him.”

“By killing him,” Lup reminds him.

“I had another question,” Barry says before they can really get into it.

“I don’t have a whole lot of time,” Kravitz hedges. “It would be a bad idea for me to slack on my day job, as it were, and I wanted to check in on my lover today, too…”

“It’ll only be a minute,” Barry promises. “Just gotta confirm a couple of things.”

Kravitz shrugs and settles. “Shoot, then. What did you need?”

“There was a part of your deal with Taako that you didn’t like,” Barry begins. “Right?”

“I didn’t like any part of it.” Kravitz scowls.

“Right. Well, according to our records of your talk with him that night, you were reluctant to do whatever the favor you promised him was. Reluctant enough to kill him over it, even though you consider him a friend.” Barry steeples his hands together and Kravitz nods.

“My end of it was my least favorite part, yes,” he confirms. Barry goes in for the kill.

“Were you against it because you thought what you were doing was wrong or because you knew doing it would hurt your lover?” he asks. Kravitz looks intently at him.

“You’re a clever one,” he notes. “I don’t see why the two have to be separate, though. Allowing harm to come to your lover is morally reprehensible. I couldn’t prevent it, but no part of our deal says I have to be happy about it.”

Barry sits back and hums thoughtfully. Lup’s looking forward to getting a chat in after this, it sure seems like he’ll have something to say.

She snaps her gaze to Kravitz.

“I had one for you, too,” she says.

“Me too,” says Magnus. “It can wait until after yours, though.”

Lup nods a quick thanks at him and looks at Merle.

“Hey, the zone of truth is still active, right?” she asks, just to be sure. She has to know the truth. He nods.

She looks Kravitz dead in the eyes, carefully watching for deceit. He looks open and honest, still a little bright-eyed from the effects of magic on him.

“Tell me. Before you killed him, Taako was happier. He seemed like he was getting better. He promised he wasn’t gonna kill himself. Was that a lie?” she demands. Kravitz droops with each word like she’s hitting him with them. He clasps his hands together tight and stares at them.

“I.” He squirms in his seat. Looks up at her. Looks away. “I’m so sorry.”

Fuck.

She’d almost been expecting it. Taako had seemed so much better once they’d gotten past the first couple days in the new year, but the way he’d acted that night…how he’d thrown himself right through Kravitz’s portal even after the guy had tried to kill him…

 _Fuck_.

“I’m sorry,” Kravitz says, softer this time.

Magnus moves forward to take his attention off her while she’s vulnerable. Lup is unfathomably grateful for this crew.

“I guess my question is kinda the same,” he says. “He said something that night that just—did he know he was gonna die that night?”

What the fuck?

“No, Mags, no fuckin’ way he would have let that fly. He _promised_ ,” she protests. It can’t have gotten that bad, can it? She looks to Kravitz, who stands.

“I should go. Angus or I will check in on you for anything else you might need tomorrow,” he says, and his scythe appears again. Immediately the krebstar is in Lup’s hands, but he just cuts open a portal.

“Wait a minute, answer the fucking—” Kravitz steps through the portal and it closes with a snap behind him.

“Fuck!” Lup says. It really hasn’t been her day.

Barry rubs his hands down his face.

“Fuck is right,” he says. “Guys, I think that guy is Death.”

“ _What_ ,” Lup says.

“Why didn’t you say something?” Magnus asks. “Like, _Death_ Death? Actual spooky Death?”

“Think about it,” Barry lists on his fingers. “He referenced having access to godly powers. He’s incredibly powerful and definitely undead. He serves the natural order. He was able to make it legal for Taako to survive death without involving necromancy. He wields a scythe. His interplanar travel isn’t a mode of magic that I can make sense of any other way.”

“Shit. Fuck,” Lup says. “And he knows we’re liches? Why didn’t he get with the smiting?”

Barry shakes his head. “I can’t figure that part out. It makes sense that Taako told him, hiding it would be pointless. You can’t hide from Death. Maybe letting us go is part of their deal? I meant to ask him,” he muses, because he is criminally incapable of taking his own self-preservation seriously. He’s very lucky Lup loves him.

Lucretia flips through her journal. “So when he talks about this lover of his, binding himself to the prime material plane…”

Barry grimaces. “Well, it’s not great. Who could possibly be the lover of Death? Life. Fate, maybe, but my bet’s on Life. I don’t know what happens when Life itself is bound to the prime material plane, but I’d be willing to bet it’s not a great sign.”

Fuck, what would that even mean? Would people just straight up stop dying? That’s no good. There’s a balance that needs to be maintained there.

“So we need to get this binding undone ASAP, or this planar system will blow itself up, no Hunger required,” Lup says. Barry nods.

“’fraid so,” he agrees. “It might explain why Taako’s still around, too. I’m not sure could even can pass on from the prime material plane if Life itself is bound here. And what would that mean for the other planes? It’s not good.”

“That’s not the worst of it,” Merle says. Fuck, Lup doesn’t think she can take any more bad news. She doesn’t advocate for planar destruction, but she’s beginning to think they should let this one go and just move to the next one.

“What’s worse than Life and Death involving us in their relationship drama?” Magnus groans. Poor guy, he’s great at axeing things bigger than himself, but a whole planar system is a bit more than he can kill.

“The Hunger is a guy who bound himself to an entire plane, near as I can tell. A bard instead of…whatever Life counts as, but if we mess this one up it could get real bad,” he says.

Great. Fucking—great.

“And hell, who knows, maybe Taako got tangled up in that binding, now that he’s in between alive and dead. Does anyone wanna wreck the Starblaster? That would really put the cherry on top,” she growls, getting up to pace. Then she moves to the plotting table, sweeps everything off it with an arm. They don’t exactly need to be searching for Kravitz anymore.

“Okay, I’m gonna get on Taako’s notes. He’s gotta have something in here.” She just needs to find it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So. We know a thing or two! We are mistaken about some other stuff! Kravitz technically never lied this chapter, but he did use very specific wording that theoretically could be interpreted to mean true things but us much more likely to be interpreted in other ways. He is mostly being honest, though. They're all on the same side just as soon as Lup stops hurling fire at him!
> 
> Lup crit failed her resistance to zone of truth and no one but Kravitz scored higher than an 11. She kept getting 4 on her perception/investigation checks, too. It's a rough time.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Barry's a smart cookie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kind of wanted to write the scene when Krav and Barry sort of come to an understanding and become tentatively warm acquaintances, which would come before this, but also I want to get to the action. I'm really excited for what's coming up!
> 
> All my thanks, possibly my soul too, go to [Myles](https://archiveofourown.org/users/transdavenport/pseuds/transdavenport) for helping me out with this chapter. Please give Myles a round of applause!

Kravitz arrives through a rift, as always, and Barry glances up from his notes for the bare minimum amount of time required to make sure he isn’t here to murder them all before burying himself back in. There’s something he’s almost getting, he’s sure of it, but none of the answers he drags out of it make any goddamned _sense_. Taako’s notes are as helpful as they are cryptic, sloppily decoded or sometimes still written in ciphers with the key pinned to them. He approached it like a researcher when he should have been thinking like an arcanist and none of them can figure out quite what he was doing.

Not to mention, the later notes are sloppy and rushed—whatever he’s gotten tangled up in, it was coming for him before he finished. He must not have had time to decode his notes entirely before handing them off, but why? If he had expected to die, why not stall until he could finish? If he hadn’t, why hurry at all? There’s something missing on the interpersonal end, and Taako’s a slippery son of a bitch when he wants to be. What Barry wouldn’t give for any necromancy spell at all to work on Taako. Even a quick speak with the dead would explain _something_.

Kravitz clears his throat.

“Right, hi, Kravitz,” Barry says. “Tea?”

Kravitz had mentioned offhand once that he prefers coffee, and especially Taako’s; they’ve become a tea-only household since then. Kravitz grimaces like he’s aware.

“No, thank you. Lup isn’t around, is she?” He glances around like she might jump out of the woodwork to set fire to his ass. Well, Barry wouldn’t put it past her.

“Out investigating,” he says. Kravitz frowns.

“I told you under a zone of truth that I’m trying to help you,” he says. Barry shrugs.

“I believe you. You’ve been honest with us as much as you can so far. Still, there are ways around that. You did kill our dear friend, it’ll be a while before anyone trusts you,” he explains. He would have thought Taako would have inured him to the habits of the crew. The years have made them clannish, suspicious of outsiders, and Taako had never much liked strangers to begin with. Another check in the ‘doesn’t actually talk to Taako’ column.

Kravitz groans. “Lup?”

“All of us, really. But she’s not your biggest fan, no,” Barry confirms.

Kravitz rubs his forehead. “I thought Lup was supposed to be the trusting one,” he mutters. “Why, Taako.”

And there’s another check in the ‘very good friends with Taako’ column. There’s a certain tone you get once you deal with enough of Taako’s bullshit.

“Was there something you needed?” Barry asks, because he’s so close to a breakthrough he can taste it and he doesn’t have time to explain Lup-without-Taako to Kravitz.

“Just checking in. You’ll be receiving something soon that’ll hold up my end of the bargain. Just as soon as you can hold up yours.” Kravitz is always cryptic about where exactly Taako is and how he intends to get them to a place he can’t talk about, but soon sounds good.

Barry rewards him with an update.

“We’re getting a good understanding of how Taako thinks it was made. He seems to have been reverse engineering it based off qualities he observed? There’s a lot of notes about what would make a wizard’s oath even compatible with a plane, given that it can’t exactly swear anything back. Lots about safeguards, what would keep it going, what keeps it from driving the wizard in question insane. Some observations written in later about how things feel, stability, the strength of the bonds. So far the connection seems to be twofold, part of it’s the oath and part of it’s a really brilliant use of bond technology, far beyond what the mortals of this plane have discovered.” Kravitz seems a little lost, but he’s leaning forward, attentive. “Basically, if your lover wasn’t batshit insane, he’d be brilliant.”

He does get a reluctant smile for that one.

“He’s both,” Kravitz says. “You know, when we met I was trying to kill him? But he’s—well.”

He pauses, looks a little down, still fond in his reminiscence. “I suppose one of the beautiful things about life is how desperate it is to continue living.”

And Life itself especially, Barry supposes. He looks pretty depressed.

“He must be something special,” he says diplomatically.

Kravitz snorts. “That he is. You would like him. Hah.”

There’s a moment of awkward silence—awkward on Barry’s end, at least. Kravitz is staring lovingly into the past while he flips back through Taako’s notes.

“What I don’t get is why Taako spent so much time trying to recreate the ritual rather than heading straight into nullifying it. Is there some part of it we’re missing? The bulk of his research went into design, I can’t help but think there’s something important there,” Barry says. The grief fades from Kravitz’s face, replaced by a familiar…impatience? Irritation? Barry can never quite tell.

“Taako wanted very badly to understand every step of the ritual,” Kravitz says tightly. “He wanted to know. _Exactly_. How. To do it.”

Barry sits back, holding his hands out placatingly. “Yeah, okay. But are you one hundred percent sure Taako was trying to undo it before the Hunger comes? Because he went real deep into it. Like, unnecessarily deep. Either I’m missing something or he was more interested in the process than anything else.”

And it would be a Taako thing to do to stall the dissolution until the Hunger came, just to give them some protection for their exit. If he thought it would work and it had a chance to keep them safe, Taako was down for anything.

Kravitz grimaces. “That’s not—” He frowns, suddenly defeated. The glow of a wizard’s oath surrounds him briefly, binding his left hand. “Yes. Absolutely. I’m totally, one hundred percent sure.”

He’s lying. Barry takes note of the other end of the binding. It heads down and to the east. Davenport would know what it was pointing to.

“You promised Taako you wouldn’t talk about it?” he asks, to confirm.

Kravitz glares at his hand. “Yes.”

“You didn’t mention that was also a wizard’s oath,” Barry says. Kravitz shrugs.

“I can’t break it either way, what’s it matter whether it’s a wizard’s oath? This way I can at least be sure Taako won’t let me down on his end,” he says, still staring bitterly at the fading reminder of his pledge. “If he’d just goddamned talked to me…”

Barry isn’t sure if he’s referring to Taako or his lover. He pats Kravitz’s shoulder awkwardly, and Death collapses in a chair next to him.

“This is so fucked up,” Kravitz mutters. “I know fucked up. My job is to sort out fucked up. But this is fucked up.”

At least that’s something they can all agree on.

“What are our chances of getting Taako by stone tonight?” he asks, out of a lack of other things to say.

Kravitz continues to scowl at the table.

“Tonight’s probably no good. It’s getting…I’m gonna need you to hurry up on that research,” he says. “We need to finish this soon.”

Barry shrugs. “Rushed research means rushed results.”

“I don’t have time to care about that. As long as he’s in one piece at the end of it, I’ll take anything.” Kravitz looks tired. Barry wonders if he’s ever had to see a death he grieves for. Such a slow way to go, too.

“Dangerous thing to say,” is all he says.

Kravitz gives him a look, not quite a glare. “You would know, lich.”

Barry shrugs. “Didn’t say I didn’t understand. Having eternity and then losing it…it isn’t an easy thing.”

And Death and Life were supposed to be eternal, intertwined forever, impossible to separate. He doesn’t know what he would have done in Kravitz’s position.

“There’s a chance,” he says, cautiously, “that what you get back won’t be your lover any more. The only example we have of a person bonding with an entire plane didn’t end well for his…individual identity. What will you do then?”

Kravitz glares at his fists, takes a deep, unnecessary breath. Barry’s been watching. He doesn’t breathe when he’s at rest.

“He would want your Hunger destroyed. He’d want me to point him at it and let him snuff the both of them out. He still thinks he can survive this.” The words are rough, dragged out of him by something clawed and angry. His hands are tight enough to shake.

“I didn’t ask what he’d want,” Barry says. Though it is useful information. “I asked what you’ll do.”

“What I _would_ do. _If_ that were to happen,” Kravitz insists. Barry nods.

“Of course. If.” The longer they wait, the less likely this lover is to get out unchanged, and the Hunger hasn’t even found them yet. But Barry’s not gonna mention it if Kravitz isn’t.

“I don’t know,” he admits. “I don’t—I can’t—part of me…”

He takes a deep, shuddering breath. Barry doesn’t move an inch, doesn’t look directly at him. They’re going to need this information.

And it’s hard not to feel a little sympathy for the guy. He’s trying hard to do right by his lover, even though that puts him at odds with the Starblaster crew. He seems to have murdered his only adult friend, too. It can’t be easy.

“Part of me—I won’t but part of me just wants to—put him to rest.” Kravitz stares at the table and tucks his hands into his sides. He looks up at Barry, desperate. “You—mortals don’t understand. Death is supposed to be…it’s healing. It’s not all chains and prison. It’s an eternity of peace, the rest you’ve earned by fighting through your life. If he would pass on I could _help_ him. I could bring him back to himself. I could take some time off for him. It wouldn’t be perfect but he wouldn’t have to hurt anymore.”

He’s staring at Barry, desperate for understanding, for forgiveness, for something. But Barry isn’t the one who can do that for him.

He can, however, notice a theme.

“Huh,” he says. He tries to remember exactly what he’d read in Lucretia’s account…

“I—I wouldn’t! I won’t! That would be—horrible, that’s awful just to think about, what kind of person—” Kravitz stutters, but Barry waves a hand.

“No, that’s not it. Just, you said something similar to Taako that night, didn’t you? About death not being so bad, and coming to the other side.” He’s pretty sure of it, but Kravitz’s face confirms. He looks like he could just about die of frustration. He buries his hands in his hair.

“Yes! I _did_!” he shouts into his arms. “Very _fucking_ similar!”

“Whoa, whoa! No offense intended,” Barry stammers. “Just noticing. Go ahead. You were saying…?”

But Kravitz sighs, shakes his head.

“No, there’s no point. What am I doing here? Confessing to a _necromancer_ , of all things,” he spits the word like a curse, rises to his feet. He clenches and unclenches his fists, looking around for something to destroy. Lup does something similar when she’s expressed an uncomfortable amount of emotional honesty.

They really are kind of similar, if you look at it right.

“I am other things besides a necromancer, you know,” Barry says. Probably best to seem like something other than the next mark to off.

Kravitz waves dismissively. “The lover, I know,” he says, incongruously.

“The what?” Barry asks. Is he referring to his relationship with Lup?

Kravitz turns around. He looks faintly surprised, like he’d forgotten something and been rudely reminded.

“Right, you don’t know. There was a prophecy.”

He pauses. Grins.

“There was a prophecy, it directly involved my lover. Listen to me, okay? Listen _carefully_. ‘I saw seven birds, flying tirelessly from the storm,” he ticks off on his fingers, “the twins, the lover, the protector, the wordless one, the lonely journal keeper, the...”

He thinks for a moment, gives up, nods. “Anyway, prophecy. About my lover. Seven birds.”

He looks intensely at Barry.

“That last one, what was that? The…?” Barry prompts when he doesn’t speak again.

Kravitz shakes his head. “I don’t remember what Merle was, it’s not important. It was something about keeping the peace. The negotiator, I don’t know. It doesn’t matter. This prophecy is about my lover.”

“No, no, wait,” Barry protests. “Why didn’t you tell us this before? Is there more of it?”

Kravitz frowns. “Barry, focus. It’s a prophecy about my lover.”

Maybe the lover is a manifestation of Fate. Then again, the Hunger is significant enough that Life might be involved in a prophecy about it as well. Is Kravitz trying to tell him they’ll be able to detangle his lover from the plane? Or that the Hunger will come first?

“Did the prophecy foretell a bad ending?” he asks.

Kravitz furrowed his brow, thinking.

“I don’t think I know the answer to that.” He shook himself. “But that’s not the point. Think about it. Think about the prophecy. The twins. The protector. The wordless one. The lonely journal keeper. You, the lover. I mean, not my lover, obviously. My lover is not you. Whatever the fuck Merle’s was. Think about it. Think about how it _involves my lover_.”

Barry thinks about it for a moment, and Kravitz waits with bated breath.

“Is there any more to it?” he asks.

“No, not that I know of, _think_ , Barry,” Kravitz says.

Barry can think of a couple of things that are a little weird about the prophecy—the wordless one? Is that supposed to be Davenport? Because it sure isn’t Magnus. And if the Protector didn’t fit Magnus to a T, maybe Davenport could be considered a protector to the crew, but that moniker was taken.

“Is your lover the wordless one?” he asks. _If the answer is yes, we’re leaving,_ he tells himself. There are only seven figures in the prophecy and they aren’t leaving their captain to die.

Kravitz is exasperated enough to be in physical pain, or that’s how it looks. “No, he’s not the wordless one, that’s your Captain, Barry you’re supposed to be clever,” he groans.

Barry doesn’t take the time to be offended. If that was the worst anyone had ever called him, he’d be a happier man. He needs to think.

“But your lover is in the prophecy somewhere,” he guesses. He’s beginning to get an idea and he doesn’t think he likes it.

“Yes!” Kravitz exclaims. “Yes, he is!”

Wasn’t Lup or Lucretia. Wasn’t Barry. If it was Merle, ew. If it was Davenport, also ew. Wasn’t Magnus or they’d know about it already.

The twins. The lover. The protector. The lonely journal keeper. The wordless one. Merle.

Taako had trusted Kravitz completely. He’d told him stories about their journey. He is apparently still in contact with Kravitz while he goes through something so terrible he can’t come home.

Barry’s hands are shaking and Kravitz is grinning like he’s won the lottery. He looks so relieved. Like this is something to be relieved about. Barry wants to shake him.

He wants to do worse than that.

“You killed him,” he says. “I don’t—you killed him. I thought you were protecting your lover but—you killed him in cold blood and he was your _lover_?”

Barry tries for just a moment to imagine a scenario where he would do that to Lup. Couldn’t. It was—it was one thing when Kravitz had killed Taako for endangering life on this plane, for endangering his mysterious love. That was something Barry could—he couldn’t forgive it, because Taako was his dear friend, his brother, but he could understand. You do crazy things for love sometimes. He’d killed for Lup before. But this…killing someone who loved you, who trusted you, who you also claimed to love…

He imagines coming to Lup’s home. Visiting her. Holding her close and telling her just how much she means to him, promising her forever. Planning a distant vacation, talking about family. He thinks about being in love with her.

He imagines doing all that while he knows she’s going to die.

He imagines knowing he’s going to kill her. Her blood on his hands, on his clothes. The force it would take. He would have to try hard. Nothing halfhearted would do.

His veins burn and crackle with red lightning.

“Barry?” Kravitz asks, wary now. He hasn’t brought out his scythe, which is good, because Barry would have to see about killing Death if he ever sees that thing again.

And then he is holding the damned thing, and Barry is about ready to leave his body behind one way or another when Lup tumbles out of a rift.

“What the hell, Death boy, I was—Barry?” she asks, taking in the situation. She runs the three steps to his side and scoops him in a hug and he listens to her beating heart. He brings a hand up to take her pulse. Present, strong, fast but healthy. She’s breathing.

“I didn’t know what to do,” Kravitz says. Background noise.

“Bear, you’re freaking me out here, what the fuck did he do to you,” she growls, turning them both so she can glare at Kravitz. Barry doesn’t turn to look. He’s got all he needs right here.

“It was _Taako_ ,” he breathes. “This whole time—it was—we need to get him home.”

He whips around in Lup’s arms. He probably doesn’t cut the most imposing figure clinging to her (warm, breathing) body, but he glares at Kravitz.

“You need to bring us to him _now_. He needs a focus that didn’t goddamned _kill him_ ,” he demands. “No wonder shit’s gone sideways, he doesn’t have anything to keep him going. He’s mortal, we’re not meant to host goddamned planes!”

Lup draws back. She stares at him.

“Bear?” she asks. “Tell me you’re not saying what I think you’re saying.”

Barry shakes his head.

“I’m right, aren’t I?” he challenges. “Taako’s the lover you’ve been talking about this whole time.”

Kravitz makes a face. “I can’t talk about that,” he says, nodding like a bobblehead.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Lup curses. “He needs to come home. We told you to ground him! He needs family now!”

Kravitz shifts. “He does okay with Angus around, and I can ground him most of the time,” he hedges. “I really need you to be able to undo it. He won’t cooperate if he knows what we’re doing.”

“No, he needs to come home as soon as possible,” Barry says. “You’ve told us he’s losing it faster than anticipated. We can help keep him focused. He needs us.”

“Where he is right now would be dangerous for you,” Kravitz warns. “Please, just find a way to fix this.”

“I won’t,” Lup spits. “You’re bringing me to my stupid goddamned brother and I’m dragging him out of his bullshit. Now.”

“I don’t—I’m not even allowed to prepare you for it. Please, at least—I can bring you to someone who’s already been there. Will you at least talk to her before you go? She’s the only person to have survived and succeeded. You need to know what you’re getting into,” Kravitz says.

Lup taps her foot. “Yeah, bring her here. We’ll talk for a half hour, get ready, and we’re going to this horror house today.”

“Okay. I’ll bring her here. Please be careful, Taako would never forgive himself if you were lost there,” Kravitz says, opening another portal. “I’ll be back.”

Once he’s gone, Barry and Lup take a moment. He needs to hold on to her, just for a little while. She seems to be of a similar mindset, melting into him for just a few seconds, shaking just slightly before she straightens her jacket.

“We need to get the others,” she says. “We’re interviewing this chick and getting in there.”

The others aren’t difficult to gather—they’ve been keeping close to one another since Taako—died? Is that even the term to use anymore? Ascended?

Well, ascended makes it seem like a good thing. Descended?

When they all are gathered, Davenport takes charge. “Barry, Lup. You said you needed to tell us something?”

“Yeah,” Barry says roughly. “Kravitz told me something. His—the guy we’ve been calling his lover is Taako.”

The silence is deafening for a single moment before the room bursts into noise.

“That doesn’t make sense, though, we were only here for a few days!” Magnus protests, and Lucretia says, “Was it a very short relationship or was Kravitz lying about the whole thing?”

Merle raised his eyebrows but doesn’t say anything, while Lup says something unrepeatable about Kravitz. Several unrepeatable things. Barry rubs her back.

Davenport whistles and they all shut up.

“Right. So Taako’s bonded himself to this plane and he’s losing control. We need to get him back here and we need to unbind him. Is there any other pertinent information?” he asks.

“Wherever Taako is right now, it’s dangerous for people to visit. Apparently only one person has navigated it successfully, and she’s coming here now. Kravitz is willing to bring us there after we speak with her,” Barry says. Davenport nods.

“Great. We’ll interview, then kit up and get going,” he decides. “Is there—”

He is cut off by a rift opening and a woman stumbling out, followed by Kravitz, who shifts awkwardly and doesn’t make eye contact.

“Julia Bu—Waxman. The only living victor of Wonderland,” he introduces. “Julia, these people want to win a prize from Wonderland. It’s very important that they succeed.”

Julia shakes her head. “I still don’t know who you are,” she says.

“Kravitz. I’m Taako’s, um.” He glances at the crew. “My name is Kravitz.”

“Well.” Julia turns to the rest of them. She’s scarred and tough and Magnus seems to have fallen a little bit in love. “My best advice for Wonderland is don’t go. It’s not worth it.”

“Not an option,” Lup says tightly. “My brother’s in there.”

Julia shakes her head. “He’s gone, then. Go ahead and grieve, but if he’s been there for long he’s already dead.”

Kravitz starts pulling out a chair for her and is beaten to the punch by Magnus.

“We really need to go in there and get him back,” Magnus says. “Could you please just tell us what you know? Anything helps.”

Julia gives him a long, measuring looks.

“Alright,” she says. “I’ll tell you what’s what. But don’t get your hopes up. I got through by a miracle, but I don’t know that you lot have that kind of luck.”

“I’ll be their supervisor,” Kravitz says. “As long as we’re not caught, they’ll receive the same treatment as you did. Once we get to the end, though…”

“Yeah,” Julia says. “Okay. So if your time is like mine, you’ll have some quick, easy shit. The guy who put me through wanted me to win, I just had to beat him three times in chess. He didn’t even know how to play.”

“That doesn’t sound so bad,” Barry says. Suspiciously easy, in fact. “Why do any challenges in the first place?”

Julia pinned him with a look. “You guys really don’t know about Wonderland, do you?”

Barry shook his head mutely.

“Not a thing,” Lup says. “Enlighten us.”

Julia nods and sits back in her chair. Kravitz waves his hand and a dark throne appears for him. He waves again and it becomes a black folding chair.

“Wonderland has what you want,” Julia explains. “For most people, it’s some incredibly powerful magical artifacts. That’s what my host told me, anyway. For me, I was approached specifically. My host offered me my father’s life and freedom from the Mad Governor if I could get through. Said he’d promised a friend to kill Kalen anyway, but I could make it happen sooner rather than later.”

“So you went in for an action rather than an item?” Davenport asks.

“Guess, so,” Julia says. “I was just about to get killed when he made his offer. Stopped everything and said he’d save my father, too, and we wouldn’t have to worry about Kalen again if I won. Sounded too good to be true, but I played a couple games with him and now Kalen’s dead and my dad and I are alive.”

“And he let you do this?” Davenport presses. “It sounds like the other people in Wonderland haven’t had such neat ends.”

Julia’s face darkens. “I was lucky. My host wanted me to win. I caught a glimpse of the others competing though.”

“What happened to them?” Magnus asks. Barry has a few ideas.

“Don’t know. I heard screams, saw a couple faces. It wasn’t pretty. My host wouldn’t tell me about it, but…I know what I saw. Some of those people…death would have been a mercy.” Kravitz flinches.

“We can’t let anyone win,” he explains quietly. “If they don’t give up on their own we need to make them give up or kill them. Julia was an exception.”

“Another thing,” Barry says. “Why not tell us this yourself? Why bring in Julia if you know what goes on in there?”

Kravitz shakes his head. “Can’t warn participants what it’s going to be like or no one would go,” he explains.

Julia snorts. “You’re damn right they wouldn’t,” she mutters.

“So, what, torture? They’ll just fuck us up until we give up?” Lup demands.

“If you succeed at three challenges you’re guaranteed to get your prize,” Kravitz says. “I’ll do my best to make them defeatable, but if they’re too easy they’ll attract attention. Getting a person out of Wonderland isn’t precisely allowed.”

“Good luck with it, though,” Julia adds. “The gods know, the fewer people in there, the better. Hope you make it.”

She doesn’t sound hopeful.

“Do you wanna come with us?” Magnus asks. Julia laughs.

“Hah! No, I don’t think so. It’s a fool’s errand and I have a city to run,” she says. “Kalen may be dead but Raven’s Roost has to be kept afloat somehow. Drop by if you get through, though, I’ll buy you a drink.”

Magnus grins. “I’ll hold you to that!”

She grins back, a little charmed. It’s hard not to be, faced with the full force of Magnus’s enthusiasm.

“I’ll see you, then. Hammer and Tongs, once you get out. I need to get back to work, though. Kravitz?” she asks.

Kravitz stands. “If you’re not going to tell them it’s impossible, I suppose.”

He takes out an elegant black envelope and hands it to Lucretia. “Here’s your invitation. I’ll be waiting for you in Wonderland.”

And he opens a portal and follows Julia through.

Lucretia flips the envelope over in her hands. Opens it carefully without ripping the paper.

A bedazzled, black-and-white themed card is on the inside. A flyer of some sort. Barry stands over her shoulder to read it.

There’s a picture of Taako, moving with an illusion. He’s facing away from them, perking up, turning around. Breaking into a warm smile. Repeat.

 _BARRY BLUEJEANS, CAPTAIN DAVENPORT,_ _LUCRETIA, LUp, ma_ _gnus,_ _mer Find what you need at Wonderland_, it says, in elegant, flowery script, and Kravitz’s chicken scratch getting smaller as he runs out of room. _Three simple tasks and you bring home your prize! Your   TAAKO                       , a(n)     YOUR BROTHER, YOU KNOW WHO TAAKO IS                                                                                                           , is waiting for you! What a fabulous prize! It can     TAAKO                                                                       ._

_We hope to see you soon!_

_Sign here to accept:_

_Sign here to pass on this opportunity. We won’t offer again!_

_EXAMPLE INVITE – DO NOT USE_

“I’m not sure how legit this is, guys,” says Lucretia. Magnus is already signing it.

As soon as he lifts the pen, the envelope glows and a pink tether not unlike Kravitz’s oath with Taako comes out of his chest, pointing down and to the east.

“Legit enough for me!” he decides.

Davenport shakes his head. “Nothing to do but go all in.”

He signs too, and gets another tether. Lup scribbles her name and gets here own, and soon they’ve all got a compass pointing them to Taako.

“You’ve got fifteen minutes to kit up. Bring everything you might need, we might be there a while,” Davenport says. Magnus runs to the weapons closet, and Barry heads to his room to grab an extra wand, just in case.

It’s time to go to Wonderland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kravitz has never had to invite anyone anywhere before. It's not a skill he's worked on very much. Usually it's more of a dragging, by force.
> 
> Barry rolled low to intimidate Krav, Magnus rolled pretty high to impress/get information out of Julia. If he had more time he'd get into puppy crush territory.
> 
> Also, now that I think about it, Myles, you can't have my soul. I'm a ginger. Sorry, bud. How's my eternal gratitude, though?


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes to Wonderland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was super worried about this chapter not coming out how I wanted it to, but folks at the TAZ discord were so incredibly nice to me and I powered through! I think I like where it ended up. Also, a special surprise in the end notes!

Wonderland, when they arrive, is…a lot.

Huge and round, striped and spinning like a roulette wheel; flashing and gaudy, with signs all over. They all have the same image of Taako. He’s not paying attention at first, then he turns around and breaks into a grin like Lup had come home from a long journey and surprised him. Large and repeated ad nauseum, it becomes clear that it’s an actual image of Taako, or at least a very good fake—he has bags under his eyes not quite covered by makeup, he looks too skinny, tired; hair duller than it should be and eyes bloodshot. Again and again, he turns around and notices them as they walk the path to the building.

A child is waiting for them there.

“Ango?” Magnus asks. “What are you doing here? You not going in, right?”

Angus stands and straightens his fancy boy vest.

“I’m coming with you, sir!” he exclaims. “You’ll need help in there if Taako finds out why you’re here sooner rather than later. And don’t say no because I look like a little boy, either! I’m over a hundred years old now, I’m not much younger than Magnus!”

Lucretia—and everyone else—looks to Davenport. Angus looks at her. Why does he do that?

Davenport regards Angus keenly.

“It could be dangerous in there,” he says. “We’ve been told it’s something of a death trap.”

Angus shrugs. “I’m not alive in the first place.”

“Take him or don’t take him, we need to go,” says Lup gruffly. Angus looks…a little hurt, before drawing himself up determinedly. Lucretia frowns at Lup.

She’s been pacing nonstop since she found out what Taako had done, striding forward to scout ahead and coming back to them, crackling and muttering intermittently. She’s terrified for her brother and it shows.

Lucretia looks away from the encounter. She’s never been a fan of confrontation.

As she does, though, she glances at the billboard again, and sees something interesting.

Just for a moment, the barest second, it had seemed…

She approaches the nearest one. Davenport will allow Angus to come or he won’t, she has investigating to do.

“Lucretia?” asks Merle. She waves him off.

“Nothing, just thought I saw…” she trails off as it happens again. “There! It changed, didn’t it? Did you see that?”

Merle comes to investigate it, too, and it flickers again. She catches a dark purple background and something small and metallic before it returns to Taako.

“Merle? Lucretia? Are you ready to go in?” calls Davenport. Angus is still next to him, so he must be coming in.

“Lucy found something. You seeing this?” Merle steps closer to the billboard and it flickers again. This time Lucretia sees a hint of text. Mer…ko, nimu…l! In big, gaudy lettering. Not the same font as their invitation. Magnus trots over and it flickers again.

rle, Mag…ko, mus Be—and then it goes back.

“Names…? Is it—here, try again,” Lucretia says, pacing back a good couple yards. Immediately, the board flashes back, longer this time. It reads:

_Merle, Magnus, Taako:_

_The Animus Bell_

With a picture of Barry’s bell on a bright purple background.

No other names, no other objects.

“Why just the three of us?” Magnus asks, poking at the sign before Merle can stop him. Luckily, it doesn’t hurt him. Lucretia approaches another sign.

Now that she knows what to look for, she sees the Animus Bell light up the sign again, with her own name and _Cam_ before it flickers away again. She doesn’t think she knows any Cams. Certainly none in this planar system.

Lup walks up to Magnus and Merle’s sign and it switches back to a solid image of Taako, turning around and smiling at her. She ignores it.

“Great, so he has the Bell. Who cares? We need to get in there,” she says, dragging Magnus away by the arm. “It’s no weirder than the second moon the other day, or the sky turning purple the day before that. This plane is whacked and watching it go down isn’t gonna help.”

Angus is watching the signs flicker, looking troubled. He doesn’t say anything, though, and Lup kicks down the door into the inky blackness of Wonderland.

Where Taako is concerned, Lup rushes in. It’s not a good idea to stand between the two.

Well, no choice but to follow. Lucretia gives Angus a lingering glance as she does, but his dark, thoughtful eyes don’t tell her anything. She can only hope he knows what he’s doing.

The inside of Wonderland is perfectly black to Lucretia, and judging by Lup’s snort of frustration, it isn’t naturally so. It quickly lights up, though, with spotlights flashing dizzying colors too bright to be real on an empty, descending stage. Bright, fast music plays while special effects spin by too quickly for Lucretia to resolve. Her eyes slip out of focus almost immediately, but she doesn’t see anyone on the stage.

There’s an embarrassed cough to the right of the group and the lights spin to illuminate Kravitz. He gives a sheepish little wave, letting his hand fall when Lup snarls at him.

“Welcome to Wonderland,” he says. “I see you’ve brought Angus with you.”

Lucretia turns around and sure enough, Angus has followed them in. The door has disappeared behind them.

That’s ominous.

“Let’s get this over with,” Lup says brusquely. “The sooner I never have to see your lying face again, the better, _vulture_.”

Kravitz begins to sneer back before catching himself, taking a few deep breaths. He mutters something, but Lucretia is too far to hear and she’s fallen out of practice reading lips. She’d say it was something about patience, if she had to guess.

Straightening his cloak, Kravitz begins again.

“Of course,” he says, in a slight…accent? “Usually we let new contestants know the rules first, but I can’t really do that for you, so…are you ready for your first challenge?”

“Hit me,” Lup says. He looks at Magnus and grins.

“Well, for your first challenge in Wonderland, I thought I’d try a classic. High card draw, best four out of seven?” He fans out a deck of cards that seems to have appeared out of nowhere, little black birds decorating the backs of them with twisted, dark vines and skeletal trellises.

“Nice deck,” Lucretia murmurs before she can stop herself. Seriously, isn’t that kind of morbid? Even for Death, if that’s still what he is?

To her surprise, Kravitz chuckles. “Taako got them for me on one of your more populated cycles. Well, got them for himself and regifted. Aren’t they perfect?”

He looks just besotted and she doesn’t know how to tell him they look like a Fantasy Hot Topic purchase by a drunk teenager. She nods vaguely to spare herself the pain of having to say they look good. They match his general flair, she supposes. Not her style.

She prefers spheres.

Barry prevents Lup from preforming an act of physical violence against their host through a really stunning display of emotional, physical, and magical prowess. Magnus picks her up by she scruff and she glares.

“I’ll go first,” Davenport decides. It makes sense. If anyone can stack the deck without Kravitz noticing, it’s Davenport.

“Of course,” Kravitz says. “You shuffle, I’ll draw first?”

“Sounds fair,” Davenport confirms. Kravitz hands over the cards.

“Don’t damage them, they’re a treasured gift,” he says. Lup mutters something disparaging under her breath. Kravitz cocks his head like he’s hearing something they aren’t.

“Oh dear, looks like I need to pop out. Dead people, you know, won’t stay dead when you ask them to. Won’t be a second. You just shuffle those cards real good, give us each a pile, I’ll be right back,” he lies, badly. Lucretia is starting to wonder if the horror show they were warned of is ever going to arrive.

Kravitz walks over to the corner and stares determinedly at the wall.

He doesn’t open a rift or anything. He just stares at the blank wall.

“You were, ah, lea—” Davenport starts, but Angus cuts him off.

“He can’t leave the room while we’re here or we’ll have to get a new host. Just go ahead and shuffle. And definitely don’t cheat while his back is turned and he can’t see you!” He tries to wink, Lucretia thinks, but he hasn’t quite got the hang of it and ends up blinking with intention.

It’s a lot of intention, though. It gets the message across.

Davenport gives him a look, shrugs, and casts minor illusion to make the sound of a deck shuffling as he sorts through the cards, putting them in two piles. In no time, there’s a nine and above pile and an eight and below.

“Aces high or low?” he calls to Kravitz, who is still standing three inches from the wall on the other end of the room.

“High,” Kravitz says back without turning his head. “And jokers win two rounds.”

“Got it. I’m ready when you are,” Davenport says, and Kravitz turns right back around and walks back to them.

“Terribly sorry for leaving you all alone in Wonderland,” he says. “Busy day at work. You know how it is. Is this one mine?”

He grabs the low card deck and flips over the top card without even cutting it.

“Oh, drat, a two. Terrible luck,” he says. Is this guy for real?

Lup seems to be of a mind with Lucretia. “Hey, I thought this place was supposed to be a death trap,” she challenges.

Kravitz sobers. He traces the spades on his card, looks at them solemnly.

“Just as soon as it’s discovered what you’re here for, it will be, and I may not be able to help you,” he says. “I’ve seen…many people die here. Or worse. Bravery, power…they won’t help you once you’ve been discovered, and I probably won’t be able to get you all the way through.”

He shrugs. “Not like death is permanent for you lot—believe me, I’ve tried—but you can lose things you won’t get back here. Not at the end of the cycle, not ever. You need to win, quickly, and to do that you each need to participate in three group challenges. High card draw is a tried and true method.”

He glances wryly at Magnus, for some reason. He does that sometimes, like Magnus and Merle or sometimes Lucretia herself should be in on a joke no one else is privy to.

Davenport cuts his deck and draws a card. “Joker,” he announces. “Looks like I win two.”

Kravitz smiles. “What incredible luck,” he says. “You must have Istus on your side.”

Magnus raises his hand. “Me next!”

Kravitz nods and draws the next card.

“Oh, another two. How unfortunate.” Lucretia doesn’t see more than a glimpse of his new card, but she’s pretty sure they were both the two of spades. Even Kravitz is cheating on their behalf.

Davenport slides the deck so that it’s a little off-center at a point in the middle and hands it over to Magnus, who cuts it there and draws his card.

“Oh wow, what a surprise! Another joker!” he exclaims.

“Crazy how that happens,” Kravitz agrees. “Well, Wonderland was built on oaths. Can’t go back on my word. Looks like you win this challenge.”

As soon as he says it, a bright spotlight swings around to an unoccupied wall space, which manifests a dark, spindly door that toes the line between elegant and ridiculous.

“That’s it?” Barry asks. “There isn’t a secret second part, is there? I hate when there’s a secret second part.”

“Just the not-secret one,” Kravitz confirms. He follows Lup through the door and she trips him.

Well, she tries. He was definitely expecting something and walks right over the foot she stuck out.

“Would you _stop_?” he asks, and yeah, there’s an accent. It’s there. Has he been faking not having an accent?

Actually, seriously, is there anything he hasn’t faked?

“I’m _trying_ to _help_ you,” Kravitz continues, accent thickening, “Look, yeah, you’re mad because you love Taako and I killed him. Believe me, I’m mad about that too! I love him and I killed him! You think that was, what, fun for me? We have things we need to do now if either of us wants to see him sane, though, and _I_ am putting it _behind me_ like an adult! You don’t see me, what, scything you for letting him get to this point!”

Lup makes a growling, snorting sound of rage that Lucretia thinks might actually be an insult from the language of their very first cycle, when Taako had been near catatonic and had only come out of it to play with the mongooses.

Kravitz doesn’t seem to understand it, though, gesturing vividly as he continues, “And that’s another thing! You’ve had a hundred damn years to fix this, none of this had to happen! I had four days! And now _Kravitz_ is the bad guy because _I’m_ the only one who tried to _fucking_ save him—”

Lup stalks forward, grabs Kravitz by the collar as Barry makes a pained noise, and hisses, “You have _no right_ —”

And Angus, small and incorporeal, scurries between them.

“Miss Lup! Kravitz!” he says, floating up to get between their faces. “Stop it! Stop fighting! Listen!”

Out of surprise more than anything else, Lup stops. She loosens her grip on Kravitz’s collar but does not let go, and he removes his hands from her shoulders. There are punctures in her robe where his fingers (normal fingers don’t do that?) dug in, but Lucretia doesn’t see any bleeding.

She does listen, though, and she hears a soft, dry sound. It sounds like—a warm, darkish tan, a light brown. A soft slither, but no, a crackle. A white noise machine. The sound of an infinite expanse.

Kravitz extracts himself from Lup, brushes off his clothes.

“It’s fine! All under control! Contestant got a little rowdy but I’m handling it!” he calls to nothing, and with the feeling of something great and heavy shifting, the sound fades.

Kravitz breathes a sigh of relief, and as quickly as it started, the fight is over.

“We’ll continue this later. If he’d been paying more attention he would have seen you and it would’ve been game over. We can beat each other up once we get Taako home safe,” he says, and Lucretia doesn’t see Death in him even a little in this moment.

She sees a brave man, perhaps a good man, moving through his struggles just the same as the rest of them.

She sees a man who loves Taako with his whole heart.

This is the moment that makes Lucretia trust Kravitz.

Lup seems to see something too, because she nods.

“Right,” she says, tense but not hostile. That’s a minor miracle. “So what’s challenge number two? Solitaire?”

Kravitz glances around and shrugs.

“Usually a fight to the death,” he says. “People aren’t really supposed to get past round one. I need to figure something else out.”

Lucretia knows Lup well enough to know she’s itching to say something off that, but she holds her tongue. Whatever it is that runs this place, they don’t want its attention.

“How about two truths and a lie?” proposes Merle’s truth fetish.

Kravitz looks puzzled. “Two truths and…isn’t that a children’s game?”

“Well…” Magnus begins to protest, but Kravitz shrugs.

“Actually, if it’s fast and simple, it’s good enough for me. I’ll tell you two true things and one lie, and if you guess which one is which, you win this challenge,” he decides. He waves a hand and gaudy chairs in the style of Wonderland spring up under them, dumping Lucretia unceremoniously into too-soft cushions.

“We don’t know shit about you,” Lup says. “You could say fuckin’ anything.”

A second after the words leave her mouth, she looks uncomfortable.

“I mean, not that you would. I’m sure you’re very honorable and shit,” she corrects. Kravitz nods.

“I’m going to take that as a compliment, I think. How about this, what if I only choose statements about your journey?” he says. Now that’s unfair in the other direction.

“How would you know anything about our journey?” Lucretia asks. It’s been bugging her for a while, actually, how much he seems to know about them. Taako can’t have had time to tell him everything if he’s been completing his three challenges all these months.

“Oh, I read your journals,” Kravitz says. He doesn’t seem to register what a terrifying prospect that is. “I mean, after a fashion.”

“You did _what_?” Lucretia asked, a little faintly. Some of those were private!

“It was an accident. Anyway, hmm. My three statements are: Merle has died _fifty-seven times_ ,” he looked irritated, but Lucretia is still trying to figure out how someone could possibly break into her room and read her journals by _accident_ , “there was a world full of—you called it Jell-o? The jiggly stuff? Yeah, and, um, the Hunger’s real name is…Lenny. That’s it.”

“Like Lenny Kravitz?” Davenport asked, and Kravitz shook his head.

“Absolutely not, I’m not taking that from you, too,” he said. “And Merle, he already made the goof, you can’t make it again. This is a one Lenny Kravitz reference per challenge zone.”

Lucretia can’t actually remember off the top of her head, but she’s pretty sure Merle hasn’t died fifty-seven times yet, unless he was involved in more of their last second stupidity at the end of cycles than she’d thought he was.

Barry seems to be approaching from the other angle.

“Well, the Hunger is a plane, and we never did learn the name of its original world. Maybe it is Lenny?” he thinks. “We don’t know that it isn’t, do we?”

Kravitz huffs. “No, not the plane, the person. The guy in parlay. Your friend who keeps killing you.”

“It’s fucking creepy that you know this, dude,” Lup opines.

“I’m not sure Merle’s actually died fifty-seven times, though,” Lucretia adds. “There’s, what, fifty-one for parlay, and I think only three more besides that? That makes fifty-four, so not quite fifty-seven. That could be the lie.”

“You don’t happen to have it written down, somewhere, do you Ma—um, ma’am?” asks Angus. “Say, in a journal?”

It’s a good thought, but Lucretia has to disappoint him. “I do keep a tally, but I didn’t bring that journal with me. I didn’t think it would come up.”

“Well, don’t you have your bag with you?” Angus prods. Lucretia takes it off her shoulder.

“What about it? I just said I didn’t pack the journal,” she shows him the inside, which does have several journals, so ultimately that probably doesn’t help. He does take her at her word that these aren’t the one they’d need, though, and starts investigating the seams of the bag.

“Didn’t Taako enchant it to get whatever journal you needed for you? It was your birthday present ‘cause you asked him not to steal you anything,” he says, which is also kind of weird.

“Taako’s never enchanted my bag,” she tells him. He immediately stops snooping.

“Oh. Right, never mind, then. Forget I said anything,” Angus says, disappointed. He sits next to Kravitz. “Is it cheating if I help them?”

Kravitz smiles. “You’re one of them, you can go ahead and guess if you’d like. It will count for all of you, though, so be careful.”

Angus nods. “Right. Guys, it’s the Lenny one. It’s—”

“Is that your final answer, congratulations, you win!” Kravitz says before Angus can qualify his answer away. “Wasn’t really expecting that one to be too hard for you, there! Then again, maybe I should have, I’ve seen your problem-solving strategies.”

“Hey,” Davenport says. He’s trained them extensively in the fine art of not charging in to every problem, guns blazing. Some more successfully than others.

“No offense, of course, Capt—” and Kravitz is cut off in turn by his stone of farspeech buzzing.

“Krav?” says Taako, voice rough, breathing labored. “Krav I—Kravitz I—”

There’s some sort of interference and the line goes dead.

“Taako?” Lup gasps.

“Taako!” Kravitz shouts, immediately grabbing the stone and fiddling with it. It takes only a moment to light up again.

“Kravitz,” Taako gasps. “Where is—is—”

The line doesn’t drop this time, but Taako’s breathing disappears and it’s dead silent from his end. Does he even need to breathe? Is this bad?

“Taako?” Kravitz asks quietly, cradling the stone like he’s shielding it.

Silence.

Kravitz looks at them.

“One moment, please,” he says, turning away. “Taako, you’re talking with me over the stone. It’s me, Kravitz. I know you. You know me. Your name is Taako, you’re an elf, you tell me you’re from New Elfington but I’m pretty sure that’s a goof—”

“Taako!” Lup calls. Kravitz freezes, whips around to face her, huddling the stone against his chest.

“Are you crazy?” he hisses, but she ignores him in favor of the voice over the stone.

“Who are you?” Taako asks. Fuck. That can’t be good.

“Love, you remember her, you haven’t forgotten,” Kravitz says, and Lup says, in the voice she used once to soothe Lucretia to sleep in a bad cycle, “Taako, it’s me, it’s Lup. Your sister. Focus on me. Think about me.”

Barry seems to get the idea, and Lucretia’s got her best guess, but unstable magical bonds have never been her field.

“Taako,” he hums, “Taako, do you remember me? We’re crewmates, I’m your brother-in-law. You taught me how to swim. Do you remember that? Think about the beach world.”

Kravitz stares worriedly at them, still clutching the stone to him like he thinks they might take it, but Taako doesn’t make a sound and he gradually holds it out so they can speak into it.

“Taako, can you picture my face?” Lup asks.

“I lost it,” Taako says, with a voice like a thousand whispers. “We lost it.”

“That’s okay, babe. Can you picture your face?” she continues, melodically, exaggerating their shared accent as it disappears from Taako’s voice.

“Lost that too,” says Taako mournfully. “I didn’t know it was yours. It’s, it’s like mine. Your face is like mine.”

Lucretia grips her bag tightly and a moment later Magnus grips her tightly. He makes to move forward, but Barry shakes his head and holds his hands out wardingly. He settles for squeezing tight.

“Yeah, babe, that’s how twins work,” Lup laughs a little. “Can you think about that for me? I’m your twin, we’re twins. Can you remember that?”

There’s a shuffle like the beating of a massive cloth, the settling of earth, a crumpling body that never hits the floor. “We had an aunt,” Taako tries, in one voice for an instant before fragmenting back into dissonance.

“Yes!” Lup cheers quietly. “We did, you’re doing great. Can you remember one more thing for me?”

“Lup,” Taako whines, and Lucretia hears the crashing steel of war.

“I know, babe, I know, I know, but I need you to try real hard for me. It gets easier once you focus, okay? I just need you to tell me where you are.” Kravitz shakes his head frantically, muting the stone of farspeech and then crushing it, but by then it’s too late. A hundred voices whisper around them, “I’m home.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Kravitz whispers. “Fuck fuck fuck, he knows you’re here, this is why I didn’t want you to talk to him!”

A distant wind whistles through the room, bringing the smell of a far off cave, of glaciers crashing into each other. The air itself feels heavy; alive and oppressive.

Taako’s voice, alone, says, “What are you doing in my home?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kiyu, [ShikiMagica ](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShikiMagica/pseuds/ShikiMagica)on ao3, made me a [totally rad fanart](http://kiyumiarashi.tumblr.com/post/169161425383/taako-from-stop-me-if-youve-heard-this-before-by)! I love it and I will cherish it Forever. This is the first time anyone's ever made me fanart and it's a really special time for me! Please check it out!
> 
> As always, thank you so much for reading! Happy new year!


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our heroes and other major characters reunite!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm releasing this as a double-hit of angst with [inkedinserendipity](https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkedinserendipity/pseuds/inkedinserendipity), she's updating her [Indifference](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13185651/chapters/30160200) tonight too! Please check it out, it's one of my favorite fics in this fandom and she is actually my favorite author. Make sure to give her stuff a read!

Lup sees her brother for the first time in months, and her hands reach for him before she can even think. He looks awful.

There’s a certain look someone gets when they’re starving, not just missing-meals hungry but literally, actually starving to death. When all the best clerics can offer you is better odds.

He’s skeletal, but not in the way a dead person is skeletal. More desperate than that. More disturbing, no matter how many times you’ve seen people reach this point. Somehow, it’s always quietly horrifying, the worst thing you’ve seen on a living person no matter how used to it you should be.

Lup had thought she was done seeing her brother like that the moment the IPRE scholarship had arrived. She’s not happy to be wrong.

That’s not the worst of it, though.

He’s standing right there in front of her, but something about him is so _untethered_ her eyes nearly slide right by him. It’s only because he’s her brother and she loves him that she manages to work through the burning sensation to look at him. She can almost see his bones, she thinks. He’s translucent, he’s glowing, he’s an unquestioned part of the background. He looks straight at her like he’s looking into eternity.

She wants so badly to bring him home. She wants to cuddle in a pile in their room and block the door. She wants to teach him how to keep his grip on the here and now and hold him when he can’t manage. She’ll take undeath, she’ll take his connection to the plane, she’ll take anything. She just wants him _home_.

“Why are you—” he starts to ask, again, and Kravitz walks slowly, smoothly towards him. Palms out. No sudden moves. Like he’s approaching a wounded animal, maybe.

No. He has no place here. Death has no right to be stalking her brother.

Lup dashes between the two of them and cups Taako’s face in her palms. She looks him dead in his eyes, the eyes that match hers, and he recoils. Before she can blink, when she’s barely registered his half-real skin under hers, he’s across the room.

No.

No, he’s—she’s not supposed to be one of the things he runs from. He’s never been afraid of her.

He’s looking at her with big, frightened, half-real eyes and she still has her hands out to touch him. She reaches, pointlessly. He’s too far away.

“Don’t touch me!” he shouts from the corner. “Don’t—don’t touch me. Don’t you touch me.”

“I can fix this, stay _here_ ,” hisses Kravitz, like she’s done something stupid and he needs to clean up her mess. She sneers. He doesn’t know Taako like she does. He needs his twin right now, not his murderer.

Magnus says something, and then Barry and Merle, but Lup isn’t paying attention. She goes to her brother.

Problem is, Kravitz is closer to Taako than she is. She can’t risk a spell while Taako is this out of it, and without one she can’t stop him from getting to Taako first. In a moment he’s holding Taako close and looking into his eyes.

“It’s me, it’s Kravitz, you’re here,” he murmurs, and she hisses through her teeth at him. She can’t interfere if he’s begun to tether Taako or she risks spooking him. Taako would probably move against whatever threatens Kravitz now that a connection has been established. She hangs as close as she dares, though, and the crew comes to hover with her.

There’s something glowing coming off Taako’s face, or maybe Kravitz’s hands. She’s never seen it when she or Barry center themselves, and it doesn’t crackle with magical instability.

Actually, it looks…pure. Beautiful, a little? But something inside her instinctively recoils.

Merle makes a sound and grips his bible.

Lup looks closer, trying to see what’s making the light, and then she doesn’t have to look too hard at all. Taako throws himself into a full-body hug, pulling Kravitz in and gripping tight, and more— _fuck_!—holy fire springs from every place they connect. Lup and Barry each leap backwards instinctively, but even though Taako’s face is pained he just keeps gripping tighter.

Fucking—of course. The Grim Reaper and a mortal who has transcended mortality. It’s probably a miracle they can be in the same room without—

Well, they can’t exactly be in the same room without killing each other.

Hah.

Lup reaches blindly and finds Barry’s hand, squeezing it as tight as she can. Her brother burns in front of her and she does nothing. Death is standing right there and hurting him and she can’t stop it because they need him present and literal _fucking_ torture is the quickest way to do it.

This whole cycle, it seems like all she can do is watch her brother hurt.

But this does explain how he’s been tethering himself.

Pain is…not a very good way of keeping your soul in one piece.

Fast. Certain. Either it drives you right off the deep end or it snaps you out of a fugue real quick. But.

It’s pain.

It’s not healthy. Not sustainable. It drives you insane quicker than no tether at all, in the end. It’s pain, endless and severe, it’s punishment for each moment of weakness whether it’s meant that way or not.

Lup never wanted this for him. She never wanted him to have to learn these lessons, make these mistakes. Even with the situation as it is, she should have been there to teach him. To hold him through the scattering moments while he fell apart, to bring him back to himself. A safety net, a harbor in the storm.

He deserves that, and not from his murderer.

Taako breathes a huff of air straight into Kravitz’s shoulder in the tiniest, muffled grunt of pain. She wouldn’t recognize it if she hadn’t been there for a hundred moments before when he was clinging to _her_ and being strong with _her_ and refusing to let anyone know he was in pain with _her_ at his side. Now he has Kravitz to hold on to, and every inch of him that Kravitz can reach is blazing in white flame and he’s more solid than he was before, but bruises and colorful cuts are appearing and there’s a scent in the air like burning ozone as he becomes more firm and present.

Gods. Holy fire. Lup shudders.

And then, thank the gods, he steps back.

“Thanks bunches, hot stuff,” he says to Kravitz, offhand, and Kravitz looks at him sadly and squeezes his arm before letting go. A last spurt of flame, a well-concealed wince. Taako turns to the crew.

“Sorry ‘bout that, had a seizure. What can Taako do for you? Here for the light?” he asks. As he speaks, the simple white shift he’s wearing becomes a more elaborate outfit fit for Wonderland, and Lup is not getting the impression that he is a contestant, here, but that’s the last of her worries. She needs to get him to safety.

“Some answers would be a good start,” Davenport says as she approaches her brother. He watches her get closer out of the corner of his eye, but does not look at her directly.

“If you’ve gotta. Honestly, I wasn’t expecting you to get here—we’re talking about that later,” he adds, to Kravitz. “Don’t suppose I can get you to leave without ‘em? The answers? I can give you, like, literally anything else.”

“Not a chance,” Lup tells him. She’s close enough that she can _almost_ touch him and he takes a nimble step to the side, walks over to their chairs from earlier.

Her hand closes around thin air.

He looks vaguely beyond them for a moment before nodding, still smiling. Lup knows what holy fire feels like when you’re undead, there’s no way he isn’t faking. She clenches her fist.

“You’re not just here for information, though. You wouldn’t be doing trials if you were,” he says. Kravitz hurries to divert him.

“We can get to that later. Lup kept setting me on fire, they need to know what’s going on before anything. For the sake of my clothes if nothing else,” he says, and Taako laughs. Davenport makes a quick _quiet, secret objective_ in that sign language from cycle, what, 72? while his attention is diverted.

Okay. So that’s how they’re playing this.

“What the fuck is this place,” Lup starts with, straddling her chair. He wants to keep running from her? Wants to destroy himself? Fine. She’ll learn what she can diplomatically and then she’ll corner him. She’ll chain him to the damn sink if she has to.

He’s getting saved whether he wants to or not.

Taako grins, spreads his skeletal arms like a real showman.

“This,” he winks, “is Wonderland! I nabbed it a while ago, set some things back to rights, tweaked a couple more. It’s the perfect game, Lup!”

Lup raises an eyebrow.

“Right,” she says. “And do people win this game?”

Taako beams, bouncing on his toes. He shakes his head.

“That’s the best part,” he says, like he’s sharing a secret, like a thousand times before huddled under the same blanket by the firelight. Lup doesn’t think she wants this one. “No one! It’s the perfect place for the Relics. They’ve gotta be wanted to work, right? And here _everyone_ wants them! No one gets ‘em, no one can use ‘em, but still no Hunger. It’s fucking perfect, you’re welcome.”

It’s…

Well, Lup has to admit, it’s some sort of genius. It’s exactly what her Relic plan needs for maximum security and minimum impact on the world. The Relics were meant to be circulated, used to help people build better lives and protect each other, but this is the second-best solution. Given how afraid Taako was of releasing them, this is his best-case scenario.

Just, there’s just one little problem.

Magnus is seeing it, too.

“Hey, uh, Taako?” he asks, holding his hands up cautiously. “Just one uh, just one question real quick.”

Taako falls back smugly, and a seat appears in time to catch him. Kravitz sits down slowly to his right, and Angus scampers in to sit on his left.

Lup glares, but it’s too late to separate them now. Taako is no longer transparent and she wants to keep him that way until they can get him home and find something more permanent.

“Wait, fuck, you brought Angus here? Little dude, I told you you aren’t allowed in. Must be this tall to ride,” Taako frowns, making a vague gesture. Angus shrugs.

“I wanted to see the inside! I thought you’d change more!” he says. “It actually looks exactly like it did when you found it!”

“Hey, fuck you, little man,” Taako says. “It’s way better now. Doesn’t fucking suck, for one.”

Well, Lup’s not so sure about that.

“Question,” Magnus says.

Taako gives Angus one last severe looks, says, “Once these guys get out of my hair, you’d better be long gone,” and turns to Magnus.

“What’s up, big guy?” he asks.

“Yeah, just. We kinda looked into what we’d see here before coming, like for survivors—” he starts, but Taako holds up a hand.

“Wait, hold up. How did you guys even find this place? Was it a flyer, because those aren’t supposed to go to you,” he asks. Kravitz locks eyes with Lup and shakes his head a little bit.

She does kind of want to throw him under the bus, but. Taako needs stability right now. Soon.

“We met someone who was on their way here,” she says, before anyone can tell the truth. She gets a couple startled glances, but forges on. Kravitz can stay until they’re done using him to get her brother back. “They said you can get anything you want here, we thought it was worth checking out. We couldn’t find any survivors, so we thought maybe we’d need to wreck the place. Guess not, though.”

She shrugs loosely and Taako falls for it; hook, line, and sinker. He smiles.

“Shoulda known you’d be out hero-ing. Haven’t been gone a week and you’re already saving lost souls,” he crows. “Fuckin’ hilarious. You kill any bad guys yet?”

“It’s been—” Magnus starts, and Lup talks right over him while Barry grabs his arm and shakes his head severely. They don’t need to destabilize Taako’s sense of time right now, they need to get answers and get going.

“Yeah, you know, haven’t had much time to yet,” she says, leaning in and capturing Taako’s attention effortlessly. “We wanted to see the sights first. I hear there’s a town called Goldcliff with some good restaurants around, we should check it out some time.”

Taako nods and flickers, slightly. She glances at Barry, trying to ask with her eyes if there’s anything they can do here. She’s wracking her brains trying to figure out how to get him in one place and keep him there, but for all her experience as a lich she’s never been a plane before. Would any of their grounding techniques even work? What can they do from the outside?

Taako’s eyes are drifting out of focus and he’s watching something that isn’t there.

Well, it isn’t _here_ , anyway. He stares outward as Barry shrugs. She gestures to Taako, frozen and distant, signing _solution?_ and he shakes his head. Merle signs _wait. this happens_ to them, and then the sign they’d made up for the Hunger. Lup turns to Kravitz, who’s watching their hand signals with furrowed brows. Angus is taking notes and makes a gesture of his own.

It’s not quite right, a little shaky. He’s moving his hand sideways when the motion should just be back and forth. But it looks kind of like _yes_. He repeats the gesture for _happens_ and Kravitz adds his own _yes_ , uncertainly.

How the hell do these two even—

“Yeah, Goldcliff has some good spots. There’s racing there, you’d like it. Nice lady named Sloane and her partner Hurley, they’re cool,” Taako says, animating again. “Used to be a cool tree there, but it turned into people.”

Given some of the planes they’ve seen, it’s hard to tell if that’s detritus of all the things an entire plane has to say filtering out in nonsense or if there actually was a tree that literally turned into people. Magnus looks at Kravitz and Kravitz shrugs.

“No, that didn’t happen. Never mind, no cool trees,” Taako contradicts himself. “Sloane’s still around, though. Cool lady. No trees.”

Lup isn’t sure this Sloane still is around, really. How many people would Taako have had time to meet if he’s the one running Wonderland? It would make more sense for her to be a local spirit of some sort, Taako probably gets a feel for those now. Maybe. Doesn’t matter, they can take the learning experience once they get Taako out of the fire.

Taako shakes his head, hard. Lup winces sympathetically as he reels. Maybe it’s the least of their worries, but. Messes with your inner ear to do that shit too rough.

“I’m a busy dude, folks, we gotta wrap this up,” he says, like he thinks they haven’t noticed him losing the plot. He’s running out of energy to keep himself present. Lup is almost more concerned that he thinks he can hide it. Taako isn’t stupid.

Well, lately, an argument could be made either way.

“Can we come by again?” Davenport asks. Good one, but Lup isn’t leaving here without her brother. No way, no how.

“Absolutely not,” Taako says. “I’m dead, homies. Move the fuck on. I’ve bought you eternity with this place, now you get to live it. Isn’t that what we’ve always wanted?”

She takes it back; no arguments can be made. Lup’s brother is an idiot. Complete dumbass.

“You expect me to just live the rest of my _eternal existence_ ignoring my twin brother?” she demands ( _What would it take for you to hate me?_ she remembers. _What would it take for you to leave me?_ she hears). “No fucking way. I’ll move in if I have to, I’m not taking my happy end without you. No way.”

Not to mention, he doesn’t have eternity. He might not have another two months. Having family around seems to be helping him, compared to what Kravitz had said back when he was talking about his mysterious lover and not her literal, actual blood brother; but he’s still getting worn down by a fifteen-minute conversation. Even now he’s staring right through her.

“Hey. Starblaster to Taako. Wake up,” she snaps. He scowls at her.

“Well, tough, you’ll have to learn. Fuck off, I got shit to take care of,” he says, standing and turning to the door with a dramatic wave of his hand. He pauses.

Turns around.

“You’re not gone,” he says. He narrows his eyes.

Kravitz gives them each a warning glance. Angus has disappeared, presumably banished to wherever he lives when he’s not with them. He wasn’t invited; was he technically even a contestant in the first place? Does that matter? Can Taako banish people in the middle of a Wonderland run?

Taako brightens. “Right! What you’re here for. You know, you could have just told me what you needed so bad, I would have…” he trails off, looking into middle distance above their heads.

“Taako? Don’t do something you’ll regret,” Kravitz says, low and cautious. He takes a slow step forward.

Taako whips to face him.

“ _You_ ,” he hisses.

“Taako?” Kravitz asks again. He slows down even more. “I need you to calm down, can you focus on me for a moment? Taako, you’re glowing.”

He is glowing, subtly flashing different colors at them across his skin, his clothes, his hair. There’s something wrong with his eyes.

He snarls.

There’s something wrong with his _teeth_.

“Oh I’m fuckin’ focused,” he says in a voice that isn’t his own, stalking forward to stand toe to toe with Kravitz. It would look ridiculous, her brother going up against the literal Grim Reaper, if this were still one hundred percent pure Taako at the wheel.

Lup isn’t so sure.

“Taako,” she croons, and he half-turns. There is madness in him now, closer to the surface but just as real as it was before.

Fuck. He might not even have a week, at this rate.

“You don’t belong here,” he hisses like a leaking pipe about to blow. The quiet sound of air escaping that fills you with dread, the feeling of your eyes drawing to that tiny crack before it all goes dark. The realization, slow to dawn but gaining momentum as it hurtles you into your last fear, that that particular background noise wasn’t background noise. She’d died once when one of their lab’s compressed gases had popped a leak. No one told her whether it was the poison gas or the shrapnel that got her. When she got back, Taako cried and followed her around for days, apologizing, like they were kids again.

Something lurches as Taako—as the Plane waves her away, but she doesn’t go. He whips back to Kravitz.

“You brought them here,” he snarls, and Lup wishes she could be glad but that’s his one source of grounding he’s lashing out at. “There was no other way for them to get here. You meant to take me away from my _home_. You _betrayed_ me.”

Kravitz grabs Taako’s face with his hands and Taako hisses while the holy fire lights up again. Lup looks to Barry, who looks helplessly back, and to Merle, who shrugs. Right. He usually just dies when the Hunger gets to this point.

“Taako, look at me, you’re not thinking right,” Kravitz is saying, but Taako rips himself away, ears flattened, hands in claws. Something under his skin flashes blue and then orange and churns into a mottled mix of colors, too bright to be real, shining straight through flesh and veins.

“ _Fine_ ,” Taako spits, whirling to face all of them. “You wanna go through Wonderland? Earn your prize. One round down, two to go, bitches.”

He sweeps his arm back and the chairs retract into the floor, a stage setting up in the middle of the room. Two enormous wheels come down from the ceiling, and he is standing next to them just as quick. Spotlights shine on him and he looks, all of a sudden, just like he’s healthy.

Violently insane. But healthy.

A lie.

“I noticed you never finished challenge two,” Taako’s voice booms over them, “but don’t worry! Plenty of time for round two in Wonderland! We’re gonna be playing an old fan favorite today, with a modern twist!”

“Taako you’re not—” Kravitz starts, but he is drowned out in upbeat music.

The two wheels on stage have emblems on them, faces on one and symbols on the other. A jellyfish, a brain, two crossed swords, a humanoid figure, a clock, a question mark, an eye, and a tiny wheel.

“Taako you can’t,” Kravitz says as they take it in. “This is from—the old Wonderland, isn’t it? You don’t really want to hurt us, you’re going to regret this!”

Lup rolls her eyes. If Taako were with it enough to understand regret he wouldn’t be flickering; but he is, wildly. Adventuring gear one moment, dolled up like a TV host the next, some sort of silver gauntlet coming in and out of existence. Not a red robe to be found. They need to knock him out of it before talking is gonna solve anything.

Taako smiles giddily down at them, proving her point. “Sounds like you’re volunteering to go first, reaper boy!”

“ _Taako_ ,” Kravitz says as he appears onstage. Taako wags his finger.

“Ah-ah-ah! No talking from you yet, I just wanna see you spin those wheels!” he chortles. “Now let me explain what’s going to happen to you. You’re going to spin the wheel of sacrifice, and we’ll decide what _kind_ of thing you’ll have to give up. Each spin has its own special rules! And then you’ll spin our wonderful contestant wheel!”

Sacrifice? That doesn’t sound fantastic, exactly. Lup gulps.

Taako does a flourishing gesture towards the wheel with all the faces. Right now it has a cartoonish skull at the top. “This wheel decides who’s in charge of your sacrifice. The person you spin will get to decide what exactly it is you give up. How much is an appropriate sacrifice to you, hm? But be careful, if Taako doesn’t think you’re giving up enough, there will be consequences!”

Lup steps forward. Taako turns to face her, locking eyes before visibly dismissing her. No, actively _ignoring_ her.

Fucker.

 “Consequences, sacrifices, whatever. How do we win?” she asks. He doesn’t look at her, but he responds, giggling.

“Weren’t you listening earlier? You don’t! You give me all you’ve got, and then you dig a little deeper and give up some more. When you decide you’ve lost enough, you tell me you give up and you _fucking leave_! I never see your miserable faces again! How does that sound, _babe_?” he sneers, gesturing violently before remembering himself and putting on a placid smile.

“There has to be a way to win,” Kravitz calls to them, which, no shit. They aren’t fucking dumbasses, no matter what kind of impression her brother has made for them. “It’s part of the structure of Wonderland. If you win each challen—”

He’s cut off suddenly, though his mouth keeps moving. His hands fly to his throat.

“Now _baby_ ,” Taako croons, “you don’t want to spoil it for your partymates, do you? You want to let them have their very own Wonderland experience. Besides, you won’t be getting to your third challenge. You’re going home. You’ve made it clear who I can trust.”

He grins, pats Kravitz’s cheek. Kravitz huffs furiously. “Now, that one was a freebie, darling. You aren’t off the hook for the wheel yet! Go on, give ‘er a whirl!”

Kravitz glares and stalks to the wheels, giving each of them a hard yank. They spin, and spin, and Taako hums off-tune and sits on a railing that appears at the edge of the stage, kicking his feet. The music plays on.

Finally, the wheels slow to a stop. The humanoid figure and the cartoon skull are at the top.

“Oh, that one’s gonna bite,” Taako hisses mock-sympathetically. “Alright, Krav, you got yourself and your hot bod! What are you gonna give up?”

Kravitz scowls and points to his throat, tapping his foot. Taako laughs.

“Right, might be hard to tell me what you won’t be needing anymore if you can’t talk! If I give you your voice back, will you promise to stop being a downer?” Taako asks. Kravitz scowls harder and points with renewed insistence.

Taako waves his hand and Kravitz says, “Once we fix this you’re going to regret doing this, Taako. I know you. You’ll pretend it doesn’t but it’ll tear you up. Stop now and come home with your family, love.”

He’s stealing all of Lup’s lines and he’s saying them _all wrong_. Seriously, what’s with that timing? The cadence? The public fucking setting? Fuck this guy, seriously. Now Taako’s not gonna take her seriously when _she_ tries to talk to him, after she beats some sense back into his head.

Taako shrugs. “You fuckers leave and I don’t see myself regretting a thing. Longer you stay here, though, the more you lose! Careful, or you might have to give me something you just can’t live without!”

He winks.

Lup snorts. There is nothing she won’t give up to save her brother. They’re gonna pass this shit with flying colors and Taako is never leaving her sight again.

Kravitz seems to be of a similar mind, damn him.

“Fine. I’ll give up my ability to leave this body,” he says. “From now on, if I go to the Astral plane, it’s in this form. Work, this form. Everywhere I go, for the rest of eternity. Is that sufficient?”

Taako smirks. “Well, you do _work this form_ ,” he purrs. Ew. “I’ll accept it. Who wants to go next?”

Lup steps forward. She’s ready for whatever he can throw at her.

And once she gets through this, she’s gonna save him. Whether he likes it or not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, if you haven't yet, check out ShikiMagica's [totally rad fanart](http://kiyumiarashi.tumblr.com/post/169161425383/taako-from-stop-me-if-youve-heard-this-before-by)! And please let me know what you think!


	10. The End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Don't you love it? To be in Wonderland is the best of all things you can be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two things right off: This is titled The End but it is not, in fact, the last chapter. I promised y'all a happy ending and by every god that ever was you will get it. It's titled that because it's an end, mostly to my angsty bullshit. It is not, however, the end of this fanfiction.
> 
> Second: warnings. This is the darkest chapter. It involves some of the body horror that og Wonderland does, though I don't think I went as deep on that aspect, but it's from the POV of a character who started the story by finding rock bottom and grabbing a shovel. Things get worse before they get better and this chapter is, I promise, the worst it will get. It's all uphill from here, folks. But buckle in, because I got some of that primo angst. I think I did pretty good with this one.

Lup steps onstage and Taako doesn’t wince, but he bares his teeth. The trees shudder and the Stillwater Sea has its first ripple, but the material Taako remains in stasis, grinning and watching. This isn’t gonna be easy.

Good. Taako doesn’t want _easy_.

“I’m next,” she says. “You wanna hurt our crew, you’ll have to go through me first.”

Taako watches her pass. He is going to _make_ her leave. He is going to save her; he is going to _hurt_ her.

She volunteers because she’s a hero. She is the golden-glowing knight against his wily, twisted wizard. He’s always had more in common with the schemers than the good guys.

Perhaps it was always going to come to this.

“Go ahead and spin, sister _dearest_ ,” he sneers. “Hope you’re ready to _suffer_.”

She keeps her head up high like he hadn’t been able to during his visit to Wonderland, the first time, and he hates her a little. He clings to that feeling. She comes in with her righteousness and her _Taako I’m going to save_ you and he can see right through her, can’t he? She’s not trying to save him now as she glares and shoves the wheel.

Just another contestant to end. He pulls the wheel to the eye icon and brings it to a halt, and doesn’t even let her spin the faces.

“I’ll be deciding your sacrifice for this one,” he says when she reaches for it. Storm clouds gather over Goldcliff and the feels the crackle of dry lightning. His physical body’s clothes smolder and under them his skin blisters.

“Of course the rest of you will be able to help out later, but I’m afraid none of you would really go for the throat. It would be a shame to let you go through without getting the real _Wonderland experience_ ,” he purrs. None of them know what he’s talking about. None of them understand what he’s going to do to them. “And you’ve worked so _hard_ to make my life harder than it needs to be! Why not reward that? I should put at least as much effort in to making you regret this!”

He gathers her essence up and cradles it. He could extinguish her right now, if he wanted to. Waves crash in the Stillwater Sea and distant sailors scream.

“Get on with it,” she tells him. Always so impatient, always the fighter. He cups his body’s hands like he is holding her existence.

“Eye is an ability roll. Take this and you’re no longer a lich. Leave it and you give up.” Either way, a good outcome. He rights the boat and the sailors pray to their gods for the miracle.

No gods exist in Wonderland. He squeezes.

“Fine,” she snarls, and he grins and twists her. Mortal again.

 “Well, now that you’ve given up, hmm, eighty percent of _your_ utility, who’s next?” he asks. She’s panting and gasping and he staunchly doesn’t care. “Not that you chucklefucks stand a chance anyway. Hey, want me to kill you and speed things up?”

He grins at them patiently and they frown. Not having fun? Then they shouldn’t have come here.

Lup staggers down the stairs and Barry catches her by the shoulders. They murmur back and forth, and Davenport checks in on them. Taako doesn’t care.

“I’ll go,” Magnus says. Oh, there’s some nostalgia! He almost wants to take his pinkie.

He’s gonna go for something worse than that, though.

Magnus looks at Taako’s body as he passes. Looking for a sign of his old friend, maybe. Taako watches him back. Looking for weakness.

Neither of them find what they’re looking for and Magnus spins the wheels. Clock and…Lucretia! Oh, that’s a spin right there. If only he’d gotten Voidfish.

Taako giggles a rockslide. Magnus looks at him suspiciously.

“What’s the clock do?” Magnus asks, and his body falls down laughing. Magnus was really the perfect person to spin this one. He has so little time already!

“Clock’s a time loss,” he says through Wonderland, since his body is busy with a laughing fit. Magnus jumps and looks around like he’ll find the speaker. “Lucretia, you get to choose this one. How much time do you want to take off of Maggie’s short little human life? Remember, the Hunger’s not coming to save you here!”

Lucretia frowns and Taako hopes so badly that she gets clock, too. It _itches_ seeing her this young. He needs to make it _right_.

“Is it on the order of years? Minutes? Decades? Are you taking time off the end, or—” Taako gets bored. He moves his body next to her and holds the umbra staff just under her chin. She backs up half a step, but he follows her.

“Choose,” he says. “And then leave, and then die.”

“That’s my fucking—” Lup says, but he ignores her, staring right into Lucretia’s eyes. _I’ll kill you all right here_ , he tries to tell her. _I will make you leave. I will win._

She stares right back, with her brave, impassive face, refusing to show fear. He hates her. He hates her so much. He doesn’t _want_ to stop hurting her, she’s _not_ his sister, he _hates her_.

“Ten years,” she says.

He digs the point of the umbrella into her throat.

“That your final answer?”

He restrains the others. He’s talking to Lucretia right now. She nods, with difficulty, and does not break eye contact.

He blinks his body back to the stage.

“Ten years, she says! You know, I’m tempted to take back all that time I spent waiting for you chucklefucks to _wake up_. Ten years is nothing!” He disappears the umbra staff and misses it immediately. It lives in a demiplane, normally, but he _misses_ it and he _wants_ it. He brings it back.

“Taako, ten years is—” someone protests, but his eyes aren’t focusing and all he can feel is the millions of lives crawling over his infinite skin, a thousand thousands of little pinpricks that he wants to crush into stillness. He needs them gone, he needs them gone, they don’t belong here and he needs them _gone_.

“I don’t like it. Punishment. Twenty-two years from all of you, thirty-two from Lucretia.” He waves his hand and with a cry of protest from his once-family, it’s done. Even Kravitz’s now-permanent vessel is older, for all the good it’ll do against an unaging eternal entity. Magnus stumbles, Kravitz catches Barry, Lucretia falls. Taako feels a surge of satisfaction. Surely, now, they’ll leave.

“Tell you what, my dear, beloved crew,” he croons, cradling them all within himself. They continue to make noises of protest as he gathers them all together, but he doesn’t particularly care to listen. He can’t afford to hesitate.

“You leave right now and I’ll restore everything I’ve taken from you. It’s gotta hurt, having so much of your lifespan gone, right? Though Magnus, if I’m honest, I’ve let you see an age you never would have naturally.” He can’t help mocking them a little bit. They should have left him _alone_. He knows what he’s doing.

“Fuck off,” Magnus says. “I’m not leaving without you.”

Taako throws them to the floor.

“Then you’ll die,” he snarls. “Next.”

They won’t, they won’t die, he soothes the part of him that still panics seeing them hurt. They haven’t seen what he can do to them yet, but when they do, they’ll leave. They’ll agree to go. He just needs a moment of weakness and it’s all over. He’ll restore their lives to them and they’ll go away. He just needs to find something they’re not willing to lose.

“I’ll go next,” Merle says. Taako animates his body again to make a sweeping gesture at the stage.

“Come on up, lose it all,” he says. He doesn’t care. Why couldn’t they have just left him alone?

All of his little contestants back in the audience squabble over who’s going after Merle, fuss over the humans, fret over what he’ll do next. They’re afraid and they’re hurt. He’s getting there.

Merle walks close and brushes by his physical body on the stage, and Taako allows him to pass through. He’s almost interested to see what Merle was trying with that—it sure wasn’t as accidental as it was supposed to seem.

Faced away from his body, Merle’s face is troubled. Hah, was he hoping Taako would still be corporeal? He looks real upset to learn that he’s not.

Getting there, getting there. He reaches up and heaves the wheel.

Body and Kravitz. Taako looks at his former love. Looking at him hurts. Why couldn’t he have trusted Taako? Why does it always end like this?

He crosses his arms and tucks the umbra staff up close to him.

“Well? Body’s versatile. Parts or vitality?” The earth won’t stop shaking and he’s in danger of starting a volcanic eruption. _Leave, please, leave_. “I ain’t got all day!”

Kravitz’s eyes burn him. He’s always loved his eyes. All forms of them. He clenches his fists and lava starts to flow hot down his mountain range face. He won’t look.

“I suppose I’ve got to take his arm,” Kravitz says. “Is that what you’re looking for, Taako? Look at me. Is this what you really want?”

_Stop it stop it stop it_. Taako takes off Merle’s arm.

“You don’t shut up and I’ll take your voice again,” he snarls, but he feels the tracks rolling down. He wipes them away with a strong windstorm and checks his smaller, elven body.

Pristine as ever. He collapses it and creates a new one, just in case.

Lup cries out and lunges for the crumbling body on the floor, but he halts her with a hand on her shoulder.

“Ah-ah-ah, you go on stage again and I’ll take it as a volunteer! You want to go next already?” he asks. Something about touching her feels…

He yanks his hand away and reappears back onstage. He feels overfocused and small, almost able to squeeze himself into this little form now. He won’t touch her again, he decides.

She’s staring at her hands like she’s never seen them before. Barry climbs onstage.

Gods, Taako’s never seen him so old. He winces at the stairs. Is this really what he would have looked like after ten years? He’s so damn fragile.

But.

Taako remembers that he’s a showman. He was born for this. This is what he’s good at. He gives Barry a friendly smile and ignores the wrinkles, the grey hair, the balding. It’s not like it matters, he’s a lich. He can ditch the flesh bits whenever he wants to.

“Barry, BJ, my old, dear friend. What can Taako do for you today?” he asks faux-warmly.

“Come home? Stop trying to be a shitty off-brand Hunger?” Barry tries. His voice is reedier. He doesn’t look too hopeful.

“Gonna have to go with fuck no, buddy. How’s about we go for a spin, though, hmm? And then you can stop fucking up everything I’ve worked for?” He doesn’t allow himself to touch—after touching Lup, he still feels weird, too _there_ and small and disconnected. But he creates an illusion to putting an arm around Barry and guiding him to the wheels. “Just do me a quick favor and roll something you just can’t live without!”

He reaches out to the farthest corners of himself, oddly disconnected at first but welcoming him back as he plunges back into what he is now, what he always was and always will be. The plane has existed forever; the plane will exist forever. He will destroy the Hunger.

Barry spins Voidfish. And fucking _Davenport_.

“Oh, that one’s nice. If only it’d been Lucretia spinning, yeah? Talk about some dramatic irony!” Taako laughs, still playing at friendly.

“You’re not making sense, Taako,” Barry says. Taako shakes his elf head.

“Of course. Well, Cap, Barry here’s about to lose him some memories,” he drawls. Lucretia gasps. She’s realized what the jellyfish represents. “Now normally he can get around that with a cute little cheat, but don’t you worry! Taako’s thought of everything. Now take some memories he can’t stand to lose!”

Taako sits his body on the wheel’s edge and swings its feet. Davenport is thinking hard, it looks like. Always getting them out of scrapes.

“I only get one shot at getting something you’ll accept, right?” he asks. Taako nods his head.

“This isn’t a negotiation! Barry spins, you decide, _I_ decide, you all go home with heads a little lighter. Maybe I should take the Hunger, hm?” He taps his chin thoughtfully. “Or maybe I should take every memory you have of being loved. Leave you _stupid_ and _useless_ and _alone_ , make you into a _monster_ and give it all back once it’s too late to do anything, _Director_!”

Distant marauders are infused with vigor, screaming into battle with the clash of swords and the smell of gore and steel. A horse screams and the wind whips up a storm like the forest has never seen. The Felicity Wilds are set ablaze by a thundercrack.

“Who’s the Director?” Davenport asks.

Taako stills. The marauders still. The winds still. The fire disappears.

A breath.

“No one,” Taako says. “Dead. Choose before I do it for you.”

Davenport and Barry glance at each other. Davenport is apologetic, but he’ll sacrifice what he needs to to avoid the whole crew being punished. Barry nods.

“The Legato Conservatory,” Barry suggests.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Magnus whispers. Merle hushes him. Lup is still blinking at her hands, finally looking up at the silence.

“What?” she says quietly, when she realizes everyone is looking at her. Barry lovingly, the others concerned.

Taako grins. “You’ll figure it out sooner or later. I like this one! Whole year, out the window,” he crows. “That was such a beautiful piece you worked on together, too! Oh, well! Cap, is that your choice?”

If it isn’t, he’s absolutely going to take it anyway. It’ll just kill Lup.

It’s fine. It’s fine. He’ll put it back once they leave. It’s fine.

Davenport nods and he takes the whole year when Barry and Lup confessed their love.

Barry blinks and looks no different. That’s how it feels, though. You don’t realize until later that your memory’s all gaps and your life is a lie.

Magnus holds Lup’s hand and talks to her quietly, and Taako turns to Davenport. Aging hasn’t affected him much; gnomes live a long time.

“Now that I think of it, you’ve been called on twice now for sacrifices and haven’t given us a spin! Why don’t you hop on up here?” he invites. Davenport stares him down warily and he just keeps his face smiling. Trees twist in the wind and leaves crunch underfoot.

Davenport climbs the stairs.

“Why don’t you tell us what the symbols mean?” he asks, approaching the wheels. “Just so we know what to expect. That seems fair.”

Taako thinks about it for approximately half a second.

“Nope!” he chirps.

Davenport shrugs. “Worth a shot,” he says, and spins the wheels. Taako claps his hands at the result.

“Oh, eye and Barry! Get ready to say goodbye to an ability. We gonna get some vengeance in here?” Taako asks. Barry isn’t looking, though. Lup is holding his face and asking him urgent questions.

Taako frowns, and stops clapping. He hates hard audiences. Not paying attention to his hard-won performance is just rude.

Well, he does have a willing outlet for his irritation right there. One who has conveniently spun to lose an ability. There are so many things he could take from Davenport.

“Looks like your partners can’t be bothered to look out for you. So sad when Wonderland drives people apart,” Taako says. Davenport gives him a look.

“I’m sure you’re heartbroken,” he says.

“Oh, absolutely. Say, if you were to leave right now I could, you know, fix that.” He gestures to Lup’s increasingly frantic questions and Barry’s befuddlement on the face of memories he just can’t grasp.

“You took away the poor guy’s most treasured memories,” Taako coaxes. “The happiest year of his life is gone because of you. He can’t even remember falling in love! And you did that to him! You could have chosen anything and you took what he needs most. Don’t you feel bad at all? You monster.”

Davenport is unimpressed, but Taako sees a tight fist and a deep, intentional breath. After two separate centuries, he knows Cap’nport’s tells.

“Oh, and Lup isn’t even a lich anymore! How long, you think, until Barry loses control? You’ll have to put him down, you know. No one else will do it.” He leans in close. “You’ll have to watch him become dangerous, turn into a monster by _inches_. Merle won’t let you go alone, either. He’ll have to kill his family. You’ll have to kill your family.” He chuckles. There is a puddle, somewhere, trembling. “You think Barry’ll rip Magnus up before you can stop him? Hah, maybe he’ll have a moment of lucidity to realize what he’s done. Maybe he’ll destroy himself before you have to lift a finger!”

He gives the illusion of patting Davenport’s shoulder. “Just saying. You could end this. Three little words and I set it all back to rights. Just say, ‘I give up,’ and everything _you’ve_ done to him turns back around. Or, you can stick with this, watch him go down the rabbit hole right in front of you. Watch him fall apart and there’s nothing you can do to stop him. It’s your choice, Captain.”

“If you’re gonna take something, _take it_. I don’t have time for a monologue.” Davenport stares straight through him, challenging. He’s made his decision.

Taako sighs. He’d really hoped to save them some pain on this one. Cap’s got blinders on now, though.

Well, speaking of.

“Your sight. Give up now or you never fly again.” He tries one last time to convince Davenport to stop this before it gets any harder, but of course Davenport refuses to look at him now. He looks off the stage at Merle.

Taako looks, too. Merle is watching them right back.

“Take it,” Davenport says, so Taako does.

“Illusions won’t restore any semblance of vision. You won’t be able to replace it with other senses. Get off my stage.” He just wants this to be over. He conjures a blindfold, a physical reminder of what Davenport has lost. Merle hurries to his side.

He’s giving Taako a look that’s hard to parse, and for an instant Taako is just too _tired_ to smile. He stares back, swept up in the landslide of worst-case scenarios, living in the center of his power but helpless to prevent what he’s begun. He never wanted this.

No. He can’t afford that. He can’t save them if he doesn’t win, and he’s gotta have style points doing it or they’ll waste their lives trying to track him down. He has to win. He has to beat them.

He grins, deliberately, like a threat. Merle turns his full attention to guiding Davenport down the stairs.

An old house in the countryside collapses, and then continues down. It falls far into the earth, leaving a sinkhole scar and crushed debris. It’s fine. No one lived there anyway.

Lucretia starts towards the stage and Taako doesn’t know, for a second, how he’s going to survive this.

That’s stupid. That’s stupid. He’s already dead. One second at a time. He’ll do what he needs to; he always has.

Gods, she’s as old as the Director but she looks so _young_.

And thank the gods for Lup, because she’s pushing Lucretia to the behind her and storming up the stairs.

“This ends now,” she spits, and Taako almost hopes she vanquishes him. Isn’t that what heroes do?

No. No. Focus. Win. He can’t be losing it this early in the game.

He rips himself open on a continental shelf and it’s agony. Molten blood and tremors and rushing water, steam, shakes that seem like they’ll never end. He smiles at his sister.

“This never ends, Lup dear. Not until you give up!” He gestures at the wheel. “And you’ve still got, hm, forty-one spins to go! Only six down. I wonder what you’ll have left at the end of it?”

Enough for him to rebuild, please gods. She can’t stay for forty more spins. She can’t.

“I’m taking them. Right now. All of them,” she snarls, and he takes a step back, surprised. He shouldn’t be, he knows. There’s nothing about this situation that isn’t specifically designed to make her miserable.

She’s never been angry with him like this before.

_It’s better this way_ , he reminds himself, desperately. _She hates me. She’ll move on. I can still save her. She can be happy. Win, win, win._

“You won’t survive forty spins,” he tells her. He can’t show concern. These people are just contestants. Just seven more nothing faces.

“Watch me.” She spins the wheel like a broken neck. Taako flinches. That wheel is still him, after all.

Body. Taako.

Taako closes his eyes for a moment. One moment of respite. He breathes in the mountainside and feels the burn of lava, the sting of too many unnatural shifts. He holds in the depths of the sea and all the quiet-loud-different creatures that live within. He exhales the gentle clouds, the silent warmth of sunlight.

He is not only Taako, now. He is not this elf’s brother, he is not these people’s crewmate.

He is not Kravitz’s lover.

He is the prime material plane and he will defeat the coming apocalypse.

He doesn’t need to open his eyes. He is Wonderland and he can see all that lives within it. He speaks with the voice of ages and delivers what must be done.

Lup looks so terrified, so brave. She knows this spin will be bad for her. She’s thinking in the wrong direction, though.

After all, if this had ever occurred to her, things would have gone very differently.

The body icon on the wheel flickers, and he allows it to change.

An umbrella.

“Your body,” he says. “In its entirety. You will be absorbed by your own staff. There will be no escape.”

She can’t chase him from there.

“What?” Lup asks. Didn’t see that coming. None of them had.

“You will _be_ the umbra staff. You’ll have to burn a lot of energy to manage any tiny physical motion, and you will feel nothing. You won’t be able to see or hear without concentration, and your focus will be shot to hell. You’re not a lich anymore, so there’s no guarantee you’d naturally maintain sentience, but I’ll throw you a bone.” He glares at her. She’s so horrified, disbelieving. He needs to convince her. She can’t say yes to this.

“You will be just aware enough to feel yourself slipping away. Every ounce of identity will drop off over years of being used as a tool and you _will_ watch it. There will be no way to project yourself even briefly out of the staff, and it will be completely indestructible. And when you’re completely insane, beyond a shadow of a person, I will give you to the most evil, backstabbing, awful wizard I can find and he will use you to kill innocents for the rest of your days. This will be your legacy.”

“You’re not—you wouldn’t do that to me,” Lup says. She stares at the umbra staff in his hands, though. Some part of her knows that he’s dead serious.

Taako points it at her.

“ _Give up_ ,” he hisses. “I’m willing to let you walk. It’s a hell of a lot more than I’ve offered anyone else. Give up.”

Lup clutches the krebstar. For just a moment, she has it out, pointed at him, and he has the umbra staff, pointed at her. He’ll let her have the first shot.

And then she holsters it.

“No. I accept,” she says, head held high and hands open.

“What?” Taako asks.

“Lup no you can’t—” says Barry, and the others protest, words tumbling over each other. Kravitz is calling to him and Taako is trying so, so hard to ignore him.

He doesn’t want to hear about how much he doesn’t want to do this. He is aware.

“I accept. I’m an umbrella now. Get on with it,” Lup says.

Taako gestures to her companions. She does not turn. She walks slowly, evenly towards him.

She puts her hand on the staff and Taako nearly flinches out of his skin.

She puts the tip of it to her chest. Right over her heart.

“I don’t believe in a world where my twin brother would do that to me,” she says. “And if you’re telling me that that’s this world, that the Taako I knew is really gone, I’d rather be outerwear.”

“You can’t.” His voice is breaking. “Lulu—Lup, please.”

He tugs weakly on the staff but she doesn’t let go. The crew hovers just out of reach and he doesn’t know if it’s her magic or his or something even beyond that, the power of this moment, that keeps them at bay.

A whole world screams in agony outside, but this room of Wonderland is perfectly still.

“I trust you, Taako.”

She has such warm eyes. Such certain eyes. A steady soul, their aunt had said. A hero. She could change worlds if she wanted to.

And Taako,

he can’t.

He can’t do this anymore.

Kravitz shouts as he realizes what’s going on, but Taako has already unraveled at the seams. His body falls to its knees, staff ripped away and crushed into nothing, clutching its head and screaming to join the agony of tearing boards and shattered stage lights. The foundations of Wonderland, the seat of his power, tear themselves apart. There are shouts and movements and another tear is created within him as Kravitz ushers his crew out. His physical body is taken but Taako is no longer there.

He screams. He screams. He screams. He tears apart every piece of himself and grates the shards into each other. He cries and screams and prays to any god that will listen, to any god that still pays attention to the abomination he’s made of himself, he prays that they’ll end it. That they’ll somehow save his family from what he’s done.

His family. His family. Angus hovers and the crew is huddled outside of the walls he has constructed around himself, outside of Wonderland, but his influence on them remains. He rips out their sacrifices. He catches a glimpse of Davenport blinking, of Kravitz’s skull, of Lucretia with youth restored, and he focuses on it.

He did this. He hurt them. He’s

He’s

He is so, so tired. And it hurts so much.

So Taako drags his claws across the ashes he has made of himself, weakly, one last time, and curls up in the diamond dust shards.

Quietly,

he rests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the scene illustrated in the [art that was made](http://kiyumiarashi.tumblr.com/post/169161425383/taako-from-stop-me-if-youve-heard-this-before-by)! Please do remember to check it out, Kiyu is an excellent and multitalented creator of art and she made a very good art and my first fanart ever. I am so proud to have received it!
> 
> I really hope you liked this chapter. I put my soul into it. There were so many rewrites and revisions because I wanted so badly for this to come out right. The umbrella scene is one of the two I imagined when I started writing this fic, and I really hope it came out as well as I imagined it in my mind.
> 
> Please let me know if you liked it! I'll try to get the next chapter up next week!


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! I rewrote this one at least four times, but actually, I stopped keeping track. Lol remember when I said it would be out three weeks ago? Sorry about that, guys.
> 
> Can I dedicate this one to torp? They've left me just the sweetest comments on everything I've written in TAZ and it really keeps me going. Thank you so much!

When Wonderland starts falling apart, Kravitz has to do the hardest thing he’s ever done in a long, long life of hard decisions. He sees the love of his life fall to the ground in pain but he can’t help Taako right now. He opens a rift to just outside Wonderland and pushes the Captain through it before he can make sense of what he’s hearing, and Merle follows. Magnus is trying to pick Taako up, but he’s incorporeal and Kravitz is the only one who can touch him right now.

“We have to go,” he urges, but Magnus shakes his head and Lup glares.

“We’re not leaving without Taako,” Magnus says, and Kravitz admires his loyalty to his friends, he really does, but now is not the time.

“You’re no good to him dead,” he says. “Look, I’ll bring him with us, okay? We need to leave before—”

A falling beam nearly crushes Lup and Magnus both, hovering over their heads for a moment before swinging in another direction. Lucretia gestures with her wand.

“Come on, I can’t keep us safe for long,” she says. She’s already panting; old age is difficult to get used to, probably. Kravitz wouldn’t know.

Lup looks at the vessel that barely contains part of Taako now, and at Kravitz.

“You won’t leave without him,” she demands, and Kravitz meets her gaze and tries to project honesty. If there were ever a time for her to trust him, it’s now.

“I would never.”

She seems satisfied by this, at least enough to urge Magnus to his feet and run through the portal. Barry follows her with a lingering look at Kravitz, and Lucretia nods before bringing up the rear.

Taako has vacated his constructed body almost entirely at this point, but Kravitz picks it up and holds tight as he rushes outside.

The Felicity Wilds are wet and ashy, though whatever fire was burning is out now and the sun is shining. When the last scraps of Taako’s being leave it, Taako’s body becomes corporeal and Kravitz hands it off to Magnus.

“Thanks,” Magnus mutters, but Kravitz isn’t paying attention. He focuses inward, sensing Taako out in the eye of the storm. The destruction of Wonderland doesn’t reach past its borders, thank the Gods, but what he can sense of Taako’s soul is fluctuating wildly, bleeding out into the atmosphere.

Taako is barely in one place at the best of times, these days. Kravitz is afraid to find out what happens when he stops concentrating at all.

One soul, spread evenly over a whole plane, is barely a soul at all. A single drop of blood in a whole ocean of water.

He keeps a careful watch as Wonderland crumples like bad soufflé. Taako is still in there, still in one place, mostly. Maybe 60% in one place. But that’s a majority of his soul still in Wonderland, and Kravitz can work with that. He can do something.

Lup hits him. She’s been talking to him and he hasn’t been paying attention. He’s making a terrible first impression.

He’d been so nervous to meet Taako’s twin sister, so long ago, in the brief moments after learning of her existence and before her existence ceased to be relevant. He’d been anxious that she’d hold a grudge over the whole laboratory thing, and also the lich thing. He wishes he could tell his past self he’d been doing fine.

At least, that it could be a lot worse. He doesn’t think he’s gonna get her approval…ever, at this rate.

“Hey! Bone boy, what the fuck!” she snaps, and he looks at her.

She becomes a lich again, right before his eyes.

That’s a new one on him.

He feels a weight lift from him, too, and his skin dissolves as he returns to his skeletal form, and his oath to Taako disappears. Even Taako’s bounty is gone for half a moment (he’s gone he’s gone no no he’s gone), before the Raven Queen’s authority reasserts itself. He experiences a second of panic, reaching blindly for Taako and finding nothing, but he’s still there. He’s still there.

“I need to concentrate, Lup, can it wait?” he asks, strained. Every spare thought is directed at Taako, at that beautiful, ridiculous, stupid, brilliant elf destroying himself where Kravitz can’t reach. A wave of force lashes out and the wall two feet from Kravitz crumbles.

_Come out, come back to me_ , he thinks. Taako’s soul is getting weaker and weaker. He prays that it won’t disappear before Wonderland does.

Lup keeps talking, but Taako has done something that rips a huge chunk of his soul out and Kravitz needs all his concentration to find him again. Wonderland is nearly gone, but the waves of power haven’t stopped. He’d do no good to Taako getting himself torn apart.

It’s so difficult to care about that when his lover is slipping away before his eyes.

Taako lashes out with one last surge, knocking over the last skeletal pillars of Wonderland. The piles of rubble are the tallest things left, now. The energy coming off him is getting weaker and weaker.

Enough to kill a dozen men. Enough to kill one. Enough to wound. Enough to bruise.

Kravitz darts forward the moment it’s relatively safe, shedding his physical for in favor of moving forward as a soul. A ball of light doesn’t have to worry about unstable ruins.

Lup shouts distantly, but he’s already gone, speeding to the heart of Wonderland. The very center of the ruins, where Taako once had a little home. Kravitz had returned to him there time and time again.

He finds nothing. Not a hint of Taako’s warmth, a spark of his presence. Fine. He keeps searching.

Taako didn’t need sleep after death, but in the beginning he’d indulged sometimes. Kravitz stands over what had been their bedroom. The bed has been ripped in half by a bolt of something.

There’s nothing here, either. He reaches out frantically, because Taako has to be somewhere. He has to be. He can’t be gone.

There! There’s—something. It’s not the shining brilliance he’s used to but there’s a quick glimmer that catches his attention as he moves past it. Something in the smashed planks of their writing desk. A letter? It’s in an envelope, but it’s torn all to hell.

Kravitz drops to his knees—when did he put on his flesh?—and gently tugs the corner of the envelope.

The rubble on top of it holds it fast. There’s something there, though, he can feel it. He just needs to get to it.

Gently, he sneaks his fingers under the plank that seems to hold most of the weight of the desk. They’re almost too thick and he nearly resorts to using his skeleton, but there’s a glimmer and the plank leaps into his hand.

He steals the envelope out from under the desk with a slight tearing sound and freezes, but luckily he only loses a corner.

Looking at it, he’s not sure the thing could survive losing anything else.

_Kravitz_ , reads Taako’s best terrible handwriting. He has to tilt the envelope at odd angles to read that much, because it’s blackened in the middle and frayed at the surviving corners.

It’s a letter to him.

_Kravitz_ …he doesn’t want to read the rest. He doesn’t want to know why Taako left him a letter in his desk, where he’d transcribed all his notes, where he’d designed invitations, where Kravitz had stolen him away from when he’d had a spare second because he couldn’t watch Taako tear himself up anymore.

And here, in the wreckage, a note. Something Taako had cared about deeply, or had intentionally stuck a bit of his soul to. Either way, literally pouring his soul out to Kravitz.

Kravitz eases open the envelope, but it crumples to ash in his hands. The center is too burnt to save.

The letter inside is completely cooked. The paper is too fragile for him to even try unfolding.

But there’s that glimmer to it. A tiny piece, nowhere near to the sum of all that Taako is, and Kravitz eases it out of the paper with gentleness that he doesn’t often use. He cradles the tiny scrap in his hands.

It’s so, so small, but its tiny form is warm.

And then it leaps up from his hands, and jumps right at him. This little bit of Taako nuzzles against his cheek and cuddles into him, it flickers across his face like butterfly kisses, warm and loving.

Kravitz captures it in his hands again, and it snuggles up against them, and he feels his eyes sting.

Stupid. Stupid, mortal tears that he doesn’t need, when he could be working on something, or looking for anything else that survived, or just—

The bit of soul escapes his fingers and brushes the tear off his cheek. He can just imagine Taako smiling, rocking back on his heels and bending over at the waist to meet his eyes, saying _Hey now, nothing for that, right? You’re not gonna do all that for ol’ Taako, right? Come on, Bones, you got a reputation to uphold! Think of all the baby necromancers!_

Even in his imagination, Taako is terrible at comfort.

Kravitz wants him _so bad_.

And then he doesn’t have anything, as the scrap of Taako he’s managed to salvage whizzes around him one more time and then stops, for a moment, hovering in front of him before speeding away.

“Wait!” he shouts, but it’s not even half of a soul and there’s next to no chance it actually understands him. It slows down, maybe, possibly, for half a second, but it’s moving through rubble and nearly out of sight.

There’s no point in kneeling here anymore. Kravitz gives chase.

And when he bursts out of Wonderland, he sees…

…Davenport is speaking to Magnus and Lucretia. They all three turn to face him as he slides down a demolished wall.

…Lup is glaring out at Wonderland, hand shading her eyes, searching. She spares him a glance.

…Angus is holding his hands out, facing the ruins, the tail end of Taako’s name caught up when he sees Kravitz and turns to greet him.

…Barry.

…Barry channeling a spell that Kravitz has seen before, okay, he knows this spell, he knows what it does—

…Barry holding a—

…there has to be something he’s missing here. There has to be some kind of explanation.

His scythe has appeared instinctively, and he does not dismiss it as he says, “What—the _fuck_ —is going on here?”

And Barry glances at him but doesn’t turn his attention from his spell or the tiny, silver cage he’s holding in his hands. “You got a better idea? He was evaporating!”

“Just—that’s—You know what that spell is. I can’t let you—” Kravitz is interrupted.

“You’re not letting us do shit. We are saving my brother whether he likes it or not, okay? Like, if you want to get in on that action, fine, but you’re absolutely not fucking stopping us,” she insists, arms crossed, standing between Kravitz and Barry.

Kravitz closes his eyes. Rubs a hand over them hard enough to spark stars across his vision. Takes a deep breath. Another. Another.

“That is…a torture spell,” he enunciates carefully. “The spell you’re using destroys souls, it doesn’t keep them. You’re not doing him any favors.”

“So we just let him die? Sorry, boyo, I’ve fucking done that already! At your hands, if you remember! I’m not losing him!” Lup says, and Kravitz holds his hands out.

“Mister Kravitz,” Angus says, and Kravitz stops. Angus. Of course he’d have an explanation. Hopefully, it’s one that makes sense.

“Let me explain it? I’ve been doing a lot of work out here while you were gone!” Angus says.

“Of course. What happened?” Kravitz asks.

* * *

 

Angus is thrown out of Wonderland and knows immediately what he has to do.

“Sorry, Miss Raven Queen,” he says, preemptively, just in case. He takes out the mirror she gave him to contact her with a few decades ago.

Taako has been letting him see more than he might have intended. It’s a perk of still looking like a twelve-year-old. He knows that whatever happens in there, it isn’t gonna end well without a little divine intervention.

And who better to help out than fate?

“Miss Istus, It’s, I don’t know if you know me, it’s Angus McDonald, I’m a friend of some of your emissaries,” he calls to the mirror, focusing hard on what it had felt like when Taako had pulled out his bag of necessity, and what Taako had said about meeting Istus so long ago.

“I really need your help, ma’am. I think you want to help Taako, right? Because he’s still your emissary. I’m right, aren’t I?” he asks the mirror. “I—I’m not gonna stop until you answer me. We need you.”

And then she’s there, standing in front of him.

She’s more beautiful thank Taako could ever have told him. Some part of him wants to bow, or kneel, or something, in reverence. But he doesn’t know if his friends inside have time.

“Angus McDonald. I’ll admit, it’s highly unusual for someone to summon me in a crisis having already died in another,” the goddess says. Angus’s face burns but he can’t stop to be embarrassed.

“I need your help, ma’am.”

Istus laughs. It sounds more gentle than he would have expected. “It seems everyone does. You have been flying in the face of the natural order, Angus.”

Angus watches her carefully, but she doesn’t seem angry? She doesn’t smite him instantly, which is always good.

“We didn’t try to,” he says. “We didn’t mean to come back in time. I didn’t even think that was possible!”

“It wasn’t exactly what I was expecting, either,” she says wryly, and then sobers. “You want me to save my emissary from himself.”

Angus nods. “He was trying to save the world. I know he’s a little lost right now, but we can help him. I just need your help to stop him from doing anything…doing something he’ll really regret before we get a chance.”

He can’t look her in the eyes, but he _has_ to. She has to know he’s being sincere. His eyes burn.

She looks at him, and he looks at her. Her eyes are unfathomably deep. Angus can see ages rise and fall, thousands and millions die and she watches. She does not save them. She does not hate them. She is the Lady of Fate and she will protect it.

But this can’t be their fate.

Finally, Istus nods.

“Taako will destroy Wonderland himself,” she says. “He can’t hurt his sister any more than she could hurt him. He’ll lose the will to carry on with this…”

Her expression twists, troubled and something else beneath that, something more than disapproving that makes Angus scared for Taako. But only for a moment, because Istus just looks so sadly at Wonderland, at all it represents, and Angus has seen that expression on Kravitz’s face and felt it from himself.

Taako has a way of drawing people in, making them care about him even when he doesn’t care about himself. It hurts to see him like this.

“When Wonderland is destroyed, Taako will be gone completely if he isn’t drawn out of it. He will not go to Lup, and Kravitz will search in all the wrong places. Lost things are always in the last place you look,” she says. Angus’s brow furrows.

“He’s gonna…?”

“That is where you come in, young one. I see how hard you’ve been trying. I can offer you one piece of advice that can make the difference in Taako’s…well, life would be a misnomer, I suppose,” she muses. Angus bounces on the balls of his feet.

“What is it? What can I do?” Finally, there’s something. Finally, he can do something besides watch everything go wrong.

“Call for him,” Istus says. “You are the only one he will come to, fractured as he is. Even hiding from all that he loves, he will come for you. Once you’ve brought him back together, I will speak with him. This will end.”

So when Kravitz bolts back into Wonderland—looking in all the wrong places—and Lup yells after him, Angus talks to Taako.

“Sir, I’ve really missed you a lot,” he whispers to the half-wall that remains closest to him.

“I feel like even though you came back, you’ve still been gone, Taako. It’s not fair to be right in front of me and still not be home yet,” he says. “You’re breaking Mister Kravitz’s heart. And you’re hurting me, too.”

He puts his hand on cold, smooth stone.

“I wish you’d come back to me, sir. You said you trusted me, right? Will you come back? You’ve done your, your plane thing, I don’t know why you thought that was a good idea, but now that you’re done can you come out? Sir?” As he speaks, he sees something. The hint of movement, sand falling through the hourglass towards him. Something glowing and half-translucent twirls around him in a lazy circle.

He holds out a hand to touch it and it spins into a tiny globe in his palm before drifting into a circle of scraps again, beginning to dissipate already.

“Sir, please don’t,” says Angus, and the light responds immediately to his voice. Each piece of it comes a little tighter together, a little stronger.

Just keep talking. Okay.

“Just keep talking. Just, uh, I, the sky looks nice today. Maybe if you had a corporeal body again we could look at it, Sir. I think that would be nice. Um, and then we can work on a not-terrible plan to save the world, okay? Miss Lup told me about all the bad parts of this one and I think you were not very honest with us about the risks,” Angus tells the…soul? Maybe? Taako doesn’t respond, still orbiting loosely. The scraps of light aren’t resolving into a real _soul_ shape, but they aren’t dissipating, either.

“Oh, shit, Barry, look at the kid,” says Merle, and Angus carefully turns around, keeping an eye out and saying, “Hey, Sir, maybe let’s talk to the others about what to do about this? That’s a good idea.”

“Fuck,” says Barry, when he turns around. “I mean—heck. That’s, uh. Shit. Wait wait I can, I think I know a spell that can sort of, shit, uh, just—”

And with a hand motion and incantation, Taako’s soul is squeezed into one space inside a tiny silver cage, where it hums softly.

“How did you…?” Barry glances at Angus as much as he can while concentrating on the spell.

“I just called for him,” Angus says innocently. He’s only a hundred and twelve.

“Do you think you could…keep calling? This doesn’t look like all of it…” Barry trails off as Taako’s soul tries to drift through the cage.

“Whoa there, buddy, just, just sit tight there, just a minute,” Angus hears him say as he turns to Wonderland again. Davenport gives someone instructions in the background as he starts talking again.

Almost instantly, a more defined piece of soul flies out of the ruins, quickly followed by Kravitz, scythe out and ready to go.

* * *

 

“Fuck.” says Kravitz, because, really, just, fuck. He’d really wanted to work on toning down the aggression here, but here he was jumping into it just as much as Lup. “Shit. I’m,  I guess I’m, sorry, Barry? I—we’ll unpack that later. Just, I can keep him from evaporating without hurting him, okay? Just give him to me for a second,” he says. Lup squints at him suspiciously. He’s definitely lost some progress there.

“I think we can trust him,” says, of all people, Lucretia.

Kravitz stares. He can’t help it. Lucretia was the one to erase the memories of the Starblaster crew, in his remembered timeline. Taako still hasn’t forgiven her for that. She had been the one to pull the trigger on the destruction of the crew. Why would she…?

She stares evenly back at him, dismisses him, and addresses Lup.

“He really does care about Taako, Lup. And I think Taako cares about him. He wouldn’t have been so hurt otherwise. You trusted him back there, didn’t you?” she presses, and Lup hesitates a moment more before relenting, slumping from her stiff defensiveness to something more tired. She has to be exhausted. They all are.

“I won’t disappoint you,” he promises her. They want the same thing. Maybe with hugely, vastly different ways of accomplishing it, but they’re on the same side here.

She meets his eyes and he can physically feel the weight of her tentative faith. He is being given one chance.

“Barry?” he asks. “Can you hand him over and get ready to dispel the cage? The timing on this is gonna be pretty tricky.”

Barry, still channeling the spell, glances at Lup for confirmation, and when she nods, he delicately moves the cage.

“Careful,” he says, holding it with both hands as he steadies it in Kravitz’s. Taako’s soul presses against the bars and flutters against his palm. He gently, gently, gently eases the cage out of Barry’s hands.

“He feels like he’s sleeping,” he murmurs. Taako’s movements don’t seem deliberate, just drifting towards what’s closest to the bars and staying there. He can’t sense any attempt to talk, either. Probably for the best. Taako needed some rest.

“Sleeping or…?” Barry asks, and Lup crowds in next to him.

“He’s been dead,” Kravitz almost tells them, but he does luckily have some tact.

“He’ll wake up,” he says instead. “He’s too out of it to do any more damage until he does. I can put him back in a body for now, as long as I’m not too far away I’ll be able to catch anything going wrong. Really, it’s just…the waiting game, at this point.”

Barry nods grimly and Lup stares at the soft glow inside the tiny cage already fading in power now that Barry isn’t in contact with it. Kravitz walks slowly, smoothly towards Magnus, who hurries closer with Taako’s constructed body.

“Is he gonna be okay?” he asks, stooping a little and cradling the body.

Kravitz smiles, because who would smile if Taako wasn’t going to be okay? No one. It’s the best proof he can offer Magnus, who deals in words like a second language.

“He’ll be fine,” he says. “He needs rest, but once he heals up some and we get this planar _bullshit_ off him he’ll be okay. Barry?”

“Are you ready?” Barry asks, gravelly voice anxious. Lup strokes two fingers on the cage, and the soul inside presses close to her. Taako is turning in his sleep.

“I’m ready. Just gonna pop the soul in the body. Like dying in reverse,” he says. Because dying in reverse is really, you know, it’s really his specialty. Something he does often. Of course.

Well, Taako won’t be any more or less dead in a body. Planes don’t really count as either. It’s fine, it’s totally cool. Whatever. All good.

The cage dissolves in his hand and he quickly eases the soul into Taako’s chest.

A moment of stillness, and Taako’s chest rises in remembered breath. He’s in there.

“And now we wait.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big thanks to everyone on the TAZ discord without whom this chapter would never have been published. Most especially Myles, as always, and also Sherm and Calcu for moral support! And of course, to you, the reader! Thank you for reading my fic, and a huge thanks to everyone who's commented!
> 
> We're on the home stretch now, two chapters left!

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't forget to comment if you liked it!
> 
> Also, if you want to, check me out on [tumblr](hahanoiwont.tumblr.com)!


End file.
